I'm going to make a toasted cheese sandwich
With a healthy dollop of mango chutney on it.

A Jive Bunny album cover free thread awaits.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:25, 175 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

you're a dollop of chutney

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:26, Reply)

You're a chutney farmer.
In fact, you make Jason look like a chutney avoider, you're such a massive chutney. With extra chutney a few chives and a side of pate.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:27, Reply)

You're a cunt






I don't think I am doing this right
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:32, Reply)

What a complete and utter chutney

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:32, Reply)

^chutnet ferrâté

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:37, Reply)

Sweet like chutney boy, sweet like chutney

( Glovington, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:40, Reply)

why are we calling old man river a chutney then?

( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:45, Reply)

he has sex with men

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:46, Reply)

oh man, does that make me a chutney too?

( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:47, Reply)

sure does

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:00, Reply)

why?
why would you ruin the deliciousness of a toasted cheese sandwich with that sticky sweet shite?

i'll probably have paella. the problem with that little market is, you either have to go now, ie waaaay too early for civilised people to be eating, or go at 1-2, and queue for hours with the plebs, or go after 2, and see if the scavenging hordes around here have left anything.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:32, Reply)

^ Needs more chutney calling, else old man chutters won't know what you think of him,

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:32, Reply)

i think it's an insult to decent chutters like jaysums to call him a chutters
he's more the kind of dirty old man who wanks over the students' lab coats.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:34, Reply)

Leaving his jizzy-chutney behind.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:35, Reply)

Chutney Smears

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:37, Reply)

Chutney baby one more time.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:38, Reply)

barley legal

( Glovington, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:39, Reply)

Chutney front door

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:40, Reply)

Hold me baby, drive me crazy
Chutney.
All night long.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:41, Reply)

you could just stop fucking whinging
/ac
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:41, Reply)

not whilst there's breath in my lungs

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:48, Reply)

what was the chutney like when you were young?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:33, Reply)

I feel like I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I expect it to be a sort of yellow-green, like snot. Or, possibly, because we can never rule this out, rainbow.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:37, Reply)

yellow-green orange snot mango chutney
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:38, Reply)

Lime pickle, please
Goes great with a nice cheddar.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:40, Reply)

what is it with you people and rainbows?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:39, Reply)

TTJ

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:40, Reply)

no, your life is the joke

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:42, Reply)

You really are the most pathetic cunt I've ever encountered in my tragic, failed life

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:43, Reply)

Second most, I'm assuming a preening fruit like you looks in a mirror occasionally.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:45, Reply)

No, seriously
You're the only person in the world that I hate, despise and fundamentally pity more than I do myself.

I know your deluded seld-satisfaction gets you through the day, and I'm glad you have something that works for you, because if you saw yourself the way the rest of us do I can't imagine how painful that would be.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:47, Reply)

bit harsh m8

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:48, Reply)

^ chutney

( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:49, Reply)

Don't start what you can't finish
You pointless, useless, worthless sack of cum
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:50, Reply)

he's going to take that one as foreplay

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:51, Reply)

seriously pal, lighten up
Pointless and useless? Says the 36 year old working in a call centre, living with his parents and with precisely zero to show for eighteen years of adult life.

Perhaps you should focus your energies on matters a little closer to home instead of on someone you've never met and merely posts on the same forum as you.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:54, Reply)

^upset and grieving for a hamster

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:58, Reply)

Maybe you should take your own advice
First thing you said to me today was that I'm a failure. You know I'm manic depressive and recently out of the defining relationship of my life and it's the first thing you can think of to say. In fact, it's the first thing you say to me every day. You contribute nothing of worth or value to this board and given that, yes, I only know you from what you post, I'm forced to conclude that this is true in every aspect of your life. One taste of your own medicine, and you're telling me to lighten up and reminding me - yet again - what a total failure I am.

And you wonder why I think you're a cunt
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:58, Reply)

You must admit this is slightly more interesting than chutney puns though

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:07, Reply)

^chutney

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:09, Reply)

It is my most deeply held, fondest belief that dozer has some kind of social disorder.

( Kroney, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:19, Reply)

You have such a thing for material worth meaning you've achieved something.
It's a sad outlook to have on life.
How do you know the things he has experienced in his life hasn't made him a better man?
You're going to grow old alone, with only your things around you.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:59, Reply)

^will die alone in an AIDS hospice

(Mr Udagawa, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:02, Reply)

Nope. I'm likeable you see.
and don't have HIV.

A thousand cats will eat your face.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:03, Reply)

like pussy ever goes anywhere near his face

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:07, Reply)

BOOM and indeed ZING

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:09, Reply)

Never underestimate the power of chloroform

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:10, Reply)

Gee what a relief, you've kroney zoned me. Forever destined to make weird sniping remarks but never directly to me.

(Mr Udagawa, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:15, Reply)

CAN EVERYBODY PLEASE STOP CHANGING THEIR GOD DAMNED NAMES*
*yes, yes, i know.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:21, Reply)

i'm just joining in before a big meeting with Paul

(Mr Udagawa, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:01, Reply)

Why did you bite to him?
It's his power source.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:57, Reply)

You've got to ruin things.
You almost make outsized Jive Bunny album covers the best thing here.

What a chutney.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:07, Reply)

well thanks so much for logging in and letting us know.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:42, Reply)

Sounds nice

( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:39, Reply)

I got a bottle of oyster sauce the other week for a dish.
I've been adding it to stuff to use it up and see what it improves. It does not improve blue cheese and bacon sandwiches.
this has been a public service announcement by Windy Pig aged 27 and a half.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:40, Reply)

You'd think they could kill the oysters before they get in the bottle

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:41, Reply)

Chilli sauce goes well with both bacon and cheese.
hth
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:50, Reply)

there are very few savoury foods that fresh chillis do not improve

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:55, Reply)

I have been thinking about adding chilli flakes to a yorkshire pudding mix to see if that works

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:08, Reply)

i like my yorkshire puddings dry, so i would definitely approve
but if you smother it in disgusting gravy, would you taste it?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:09, Reply)

Do you not like veggie gravy?
The missus is a food wrong too and has veggie gravy.

Also I think you would still get a bit of bite through the gravy
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:11, Reply)

i hate gravy
it makes everything soggy and it makes everything taste like gravy.

fuck off gravy.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:12, Reply)

Yeah but yorkies are better with soggy bits
as are roast spuds
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:14, Reply)

nooooooooooooooo

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:18, Reply)

She loves it when I smother her puddings with my gravy

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:12, Reply)

Yeah but with you everything becomes fucking Mexican

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:10, Reply)

^ is cooking for himself from now on ^

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:10, Reply)

Is eating takeaways from now on, probably fucking Mexican

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:11, Reply)

i fucking love that mexican takeaway
stuffed jalapenos and bean chilli, yes please.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:12, Reply)

sounds like a plan

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:19, Reply)

Take me home chutney roads

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:41, Reply)

Play that chutney music white boy

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:41, Reply)

Chutney that shit
Doesn't really work, but, you know, old times' sakes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:41, Reply)

Hey, I just met you
and this is crazy
but here's my number
so chutney maybe
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:42, Reply)

CHUT UP

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:47, Reply)

chutn e's in love

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:50, Reply)

what about chutney houston?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:50, Reply)

600 blokes
One of them must have
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:54, Reply)

Hello
its chutney you're looking for
( Glovington, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 12:58, Reply)

Chut up and let me go. HEY!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:02, Reply)

Don't call it a comeback, I been here for years
Rockin my peers and chuttin suckas in fear
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:04, Reply)

Chutting and Chiving

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:07, Reply)

It takes a nation of Chutneys to hold our scrotums

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:08, Reply)

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:44, Reply)

Yes!

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:46, Reply)

YES!

( Glovington, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 13:50, Reply)