Weekend Plans
I'm on a small tour of Yorkshire this weekend to see my new nephew. This will involve fish and chips, Stella and a MASSIVE Sunday lunch. What you up to?

Alt:
It seemed like a good idea, but....
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:21, 153 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

I'm on-call.
Also got the customer round for testing next week so might have to nip in at the weekend and check our test scripts actually work.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:23, Reply)

What do you test your customers for?
I hope you make sure they aren't foreigns.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:27, Reply)

paternity and HIV

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:29, Reply)

I might have tea and cakes

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:24, Reply)

Beer, cider, shots of Patron, shots of tequila, weed, charlie, wine, wanking.
Netflix.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:29, Reply)

I'm going to see if surge Knight gets away with murder AGAIN

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:30, Reply)

revising for a piss easy exam

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:32, Reply)

why revise if it's piss easy?

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:37, Reply)

because i'll look like a right prat if i fail it
It's so easy even Jason could pass it after 50 hours study.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:38, Reply)

surely it's a bit late in your life to start worrying about looking a right prat

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:40, Reply)

financial incentives for passing an' all

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:06, Reply)

Maybe if you'd tried harder at school
you wouldn't still be doing exams in your 30s.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:42, Reply)

professional development pal, lifelong learning eh

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:04, Reply)

professional developBENT more like

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:12, Reply)

classic!!!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:13, Reply)

Tomorrow night: on stage
Sunday: I foresee laziness. Might go to the market if it's not snowing again.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:33, Reply)

What sort of stage?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:35, Reply)

Stage IV cancer

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:36, Reply)

Are we tired of the 'IM SEEING THEM AT INFEST!!!!' meme yet?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:37, Reply)

Remind me - how does that one go again?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:37, Reply)

Like this:
5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2456691

Are we tired of the ' ' meme yet?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:52, Reply)

Concert hall stage, dahling
For some reason the people who built the hall decided to make the stage a full six feet high, ensuring that anyone standing too close to the front is liable to fall off and into the laps of whoever's in the front row.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:38, Reply)

something something sweeping it something

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:39, Reply)

What, like Stomp or summat?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:45, Reply)

That's pretty common in theatres
Add in the usual slope down from back to front and going near the front edge can make someone in the audience £250 richer.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:41, Reply)

What will you be doing on this concert stage and how does its height increase the risk of falling off the front?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:47, Reply)

Singing,
and walking from one configuration to another (our conductor is convinced that singing in different 'formations' from one piece to another will impress the pants off the audience) while trying to look at the audience and simultaneously not plummet from the stage. I suppose the height doesn't increase the risk of falling off; it just increases the risk of falling into someone's lap like a rapist rather than falling off into the dark like a twat.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:51, Reply)

sounds pretty bent

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:55, Reply)

What will you be singing?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:55, Reply)

Brahms: 4 Quartets, op. 92
2 movements from 6 Quartets, op. 112

Schubert: Ständchen, D.920
Mirjams Siegegesang, D.942

Brahms
(again): Zigeunerlieder, op. 103
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:59, Reply)

I like a bit of Brahms
I like a bit of Brahms bit gay mate
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:01, Reply)

Yeah, it's not my favourite programme in the world.
Almost all of it is shouty and unrefined, so we'll probably sound like the population of a Yates Wine Lodge at closing time when the police arrive.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:03, Reply)

football stadium chants are the most beautiful of all choral performances

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:08, Reply)

I'd rather belt out "Mae hen wlad fy nhadau" at the Millenium Stadium.
It's an infinitely better sing than God Save the Queen.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:30, Reply)

Ooh fancy.
I like a bit of Schubert lieder, me.
Do you sound like Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau then?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:03, Reply)

I wish.
Might dig out my Lieder CD of his for this afternoon, now that you mention it. Haven't listened to that one in yonks.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:05, Reply)

i like classical music in the car
i like "conducting" it and in no way looking like a mong trying to chase away midges *shames*
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:06, Reply)

A lot of conductors look like that in actual concert situations.
You're not alone.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:09, Reply)

Do you do that Wonderwall song by those Oasis fellas? I fucking love that one.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:09, Reply)

Tosser, go away.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:15, Reply)

Alrigh', calm down, it's alright if you're not able to do the greatest hym ever made.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 14:14, Reply)

Might have a curry.
Alt: b3ta.com/users/signup.php
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:35, Reply)

what's the vegetarian option?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:47, Reply)

See, your south Asians know how to look after vegetarians properly.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:49, Reply)

they aren't mine, i just borrowed them

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:49, Reply)

Well kindly put them back tidily where you got them from once you've finished with them.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:50, Reply)

If they knew how to look after them properly
They'd simply execute them all.
( Muns, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:50, Reply)

Do you view vegetarians as some kind of threat?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:51, Reply)

Nope.
Just too weak to contribute. Morrissey shall be the first to die.
( Muns, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:53, Reply)

coming over here, not eating the food we harp on about eating all the time because it's well butch and that, they should be drowned at birth etc

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:53, Reply)

I saw they do a Quorn™ chorizo in Sainsbury's now, so I could get that and join in with more of the conversations on here.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:57, Reply)

Fucking hell
That won't be grim at all
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:58, Reply)

christ

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:00, Reply)

i think we're having quorn chili tonight, i reckon i could be a vegetarian if necessary
IF I DIDNT LOVE MEAT SO FUCKING MUCH MMMMMMMMMEAT YEAH DID I MENTION I EAT MEAT? MEAT! etc
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:00, Reply)

PROPER MEAT LIKE A REAL MAN!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:04, Reply)

WUUUUUURRRRRR!! BIG CHUNKS OF MEAT!!! IM NOT GAY!!! MEAT!!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:06, Reply)

QUORNSNAKE
after the disgusting crown of beef you disgusting 3 devoured last night, you've had enough meat to last you until 2019.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:05, Reply)

That cheese you monsters had smelt like my feet did when I took my boots off.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:07, Reply)

i know

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:07, Reply)

How come you never want to smell my feet but you'll eat stuff that smells worse? You're weird!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:09, Reply)

This is where I win, I like stinky brie AND big bits of meat.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:16, Reply)

You'll never hear me complain about evenly splitting the bill at the end of the night.
I hate poeple who get their calculator out
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:17, Reply)

Housemate is cooking curry for me tonight, so I'm hoping that's good.
Aside from a film night tomorrow, no real plans for the rest of the day. Then I've got an old friend coming down to see me on Sunday (weather permitting).

Should be a decent weekend, at least.

Alt: Shower sex isn't as much fun as you'd expect.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:42, Reply)

Get the weekend cans in m8

(Mr Udagawa, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:46, Reply)

Double cans.
Weekend and payday!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:52, Reply)

Had a fair few last night, think I may leave it for tonight

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:55, Reply)

Ape, I take it?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:55, Reply)

No, rory. He's now a zombie following his tragic death.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:00, Reply)

What a shame.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:23, Reply)

I didn't know you'd been to prison

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:46, Reply)

lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:49, Reply)

hahaha!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:52, Reply)

I am 'clickin dis'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:54, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:54, Reply)

bazinga!

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 11:59, Reply)

"Pros: Spontaneous
Cons: Painful, no lubrication, not quite what I had in mind

* - would probably not do again"
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 30 Jan 2015, 14:11, Reply)

I'm gonna have a nap BEFORE lunch
Your petty human rules mean nothing to me
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:12, Reply)

Make sure you find somewhere warm
it's really cold out.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:14, Reply)

drinkin' smokin' cookin' datin'

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:29, Reply)

technologic

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:56, Reply)

shootin' some b'ball outside of the school

( Peej, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 14:12, Reply)

alt. red label absinthe

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:31, Reply)

no snow yet

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:43, Reply)

How are Rocky and Lemmy getting on? We've finally decided on a name for baby budgie, it's Bobby.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:46, Reply)

After fat bobby off of here?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:48, Reply)

Who's that?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:55, Reply)

EVERYBODY

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:17, Reply)

still being kept separate but they shout to each other, lemmy keeps trying to find him, they can have a proper meet up soon.
it's made lemmy be a bit braver in exploring round the flat and flying more which is what we wanted so that's good
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:48, Reply)

Ours love flying, they've been everywhere now. Even the 'special' cellar.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:55, Reply)

dunno what that is but it sounds well noncey, this conversation is over

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:56, Reply)

Whereabouts in Yorkshire?
Sorting out leaving do for our head bar chap tonight. Basically, I have cooked chili, and made classy vodka jelly shots. I intend on getting hammered.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:45, Reply)

Are vodka jellies back in vogue, seems like it's been a decade since they were at parties but the last six months they've been all over the place.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:49, Reply)

Dunn about in vogue, I just fancied doing some.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:53, Reply)

Going to Southall tonight with the guys from work
Having a pile of grilled meats of various types.

Tomorrow, I may do fuck all, followed by a rest on Sunday.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:49, Reply)

I might do this on facebook
i.imgur.com/vVAVe5y.png
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 12:55, Reply)

why don't you go down to a nice bar in Milton Keynes and meet some friends or a nice girl.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:05, Reply)

because he's a speccy sci fi autist who buys his clothes in Asda

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:07, Reply)

he's like the other extreme of the dick head scale to you
But the outcome is the same
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:12, Reply)

equally prickoid but for cheaper reasons

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:12, Reply)

Sounds like effort.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:09, Reply)

forever alone.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:12, Reply)

outside is overrated

(Mr Udagawa, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:34, Reply)

Your outside definitely is

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:37, Reply)

it's grey damp cold and miserable. How's barbados ?

(Mr Udagawa, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:39, Reply)

full of fat Americans and revolting sugary "cocktails"

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:43, Reply)

gonna get a bit raucous in that London with some hip cats baby.
Tonight however, I'm going to do as little as possible. I'm exhausted, today was supposed to be easy but I've just spent the last hour putting up scaffolding as a chimney looks like it's about to come down. That shit is heavy.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:03, Reply)

drink a drink a drink a drink.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:32, Reply)

to Windy the pig the pig the pig

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:44, Reply)

#scaffolding

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 14:00, Reply)

medicinal compound?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:45, Reply)

I'll be getting as much good sex as I want and driving a fast car.
Might have a shower after a few complaints about my odour. That's just fine by me. I mean, I can't knock it, it is pretty strong.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:22, Reply)

Eh *shakey hand*

( Kroney, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:25, Reply)

DTs?

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:29, Reply)

7.1 with THX certification

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:30, Reply)

Woah

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:31, Reply)

Boring stuff on Saturday and maybe Warwick Castle on Sunday
Alt: 4 kids
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:30, Reply)

Can't believe that midget from the telly has a stately home.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:33, Reply)

I can't believe he left school with only one GCSE yet was Pizza Hut marketing director in 2006/2007

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:34, Reply)

Off topic is a hotbed of Craig Colcloughs.
I wish the lies were more interesting
(Mr Udagawa, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:38, Reply)

Are you the Mercedes-driving millionaire property magnate? I can't recall.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 30 Jan 2015, 14:17, Reply)

Some people change printer cartridges and switch stuff off and back on again, others are destined for greater things

(Mr Udagawa, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 14:28, Reply)

This valentines day show monty how much you love him by coming to this all day BASH!
b3ta.com/calendar/event/25470

#MontyTheHofmeisterBear
( Peej, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:45, Reply)

If there's one thing I can't stand it's chuggers.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:47, Reply)

Calm down, Maggie Philbin.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:49, Reply)

Wannabe a wiiner.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:52, Reply)

+plays pop

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:52, Reply)

chuggers monty

You harsh bastard.
( Peej, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:53, Reply)

Sounds a bit rubbish. Thanks for asking though.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:50, Reply)

This one's a snip at £495.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:50, Reply)

Yeh right? Do you see Mechanical head written anywhere?

( Peej, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:53, Reply)

It's a bit seasonal.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:53, Reply)

Granted, it's got no mechanical head and it's dressed like Father Christmas,
but you lot have got exponentially more of a shot at seeing Monty wearing it than you have with the £2000 luxury sex cyborg version.

JUST SAYING.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 14:09, Reply)

Follow your dreams, you can achieve your goals.

( Peej, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 14:14, Reply)

I'm doing whatever the wife tells me to do
Alt. Marriage
( Peej, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 14:03, Reply)

New thread

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 14:13, Reply)

delete this please

( Peej, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 14:18, Reply)