Advice from Old PeopleSometimes, just sometimes, old people say something worth listening to. Ok, so it's like picking the needle out of a whole haystack of mis-remembered war stories, but those gems should be celebrated.
Tell us something worthwhile an old-type person has told you.
Note, we're leaving the definition of old up to you, you smooth-skinned youngsters.
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chthonic, Thu 19 Jun 2008, 16:16)
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Advice: a rebuttal"Don't go out in the winter without yer vest on"
Well, you know what, Granny? I did! And I lived!
"Cars with over 100,000 miles on them aren't worth buying"
Eh, what now, dad? Do they all stop dead when the odometer ticks past 99,999? What about all the rustbucket heaps of shit you drove when I was young? I'm going to get me a MK2 Polo and you can't stop me. Probably because the brakes won't work.
"Don't put new shoes on a table; it's bad luck"
Thanks, Granda. I actually believe this one now since it was told to me repeatedly as a child. I'm an atheist, a scientist and a sceptic but a little part of me inside screams "nooooooooo" when the shop assistant tries to set the shoes on the counter. Don't do it, woman! The skies may open and a plague of bunions may be unleashed upon the land!
"You should consider becoming a teacher"
Oh there's a surprise, Mrs McEvil, career guidance teacher from hell. I told you I'd like to be a) an archaeologist, b) a writer or c) a gardener. You laughed at me and broke my dreams. "Teacher" is your standard reply to everyone. Why the hell would I want to teach? Why would anyone? Why would you even think that? And what do I do now? Oh yes, I'm a lecturer.
"You should learn to compromise"
Um, no. Compromise means two people are unhappy. Not optimal. It's better if I just win all the arguments. I will concede occasionally - if it's someone's birthday or something.
"You should be more secretive with men"
In what way, mother? Sure, I'll shave my legs in private and will close the bathroom door when I pee. Thing is, if the men are worth anything, I should be able to talk to them openly about things. I'm not playing their little reindeer games.
*sits alone at night, not joining all their reindeer games*
"Don't get too excited or it'll all end in tears"
Dammit, that one's often true, if by "tears" you mean "sectioned".
"97% of all advice is useless"
Aye. And 88.3% of Internet statistics are made up on the spot.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 11:24,
13 replies)
..."...a) an archaeologist, b) a writer or c) a gardener..."
Well, you're an archaeologist who writes and grows courgettes. Yay!
(Reindeer games?)
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Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 11:28,
closed)
as in"they wouldn't let poor Rudolph/join in any reindeer games".
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 11:30,
closed)
...I've seen your nose. It's not that red.
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Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 11:33,
closed)
That's not her nose.....(arf)
(, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 11:53, closed)
It's*DUM DUM DUM!!!!!!!*
GIGANTACOCK
*insert theme tune*
(, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 11:54, closed)
Are you trying to suggestThat CHCB has a penis?
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Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 11:54,
closed)
errrrrrmdo I need to suggest it?
It's not as if I need to suggest that Gordon Brown is a humourless twunt, it's self evident.
*grins*
She is going to kick my ass in august.
*offers conciliatory
(, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 12:02, closed)
Come to think of itshe did seem a bit cocky.
Good point there geordie boy.
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Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 12:07,
closed)
careers adviceour useless careers woman told all girls they should train as hairdressers. when I mentioned parasitology, she told me firstly, that it's called french. So I repeated myself, and she said, oh, parapsychology? go to Edinburgh! I gave up, and got all the info on hairdressing at that point.
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ascorbate, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 12:12,
closed)
The thing to remember about careers advisorsis that they're careers advisors. Rather than having a proper career. Which might entitle them to give careers advice.
With apologies to any careers advisors who now wish to kill me with weighty objects.
(, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 12:20, closed)
I was told to be a policewomen..Just because I'm tall and built like a brick shit house.
I'm also a cowardy custard and hate confrontation.
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girlinthehole, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 12:58,
closed)
@BGBthen you should have been a firearms officer, then you can stay at a distance and shoot them when they aren't looking.
(, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 13:01, closed)
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