Advice from Old PeopleSometimes, just sometimes, old people say something worth listening to. Ok, so it's like picking the needle out of a whole haystack of mis-remembered war stories, but those gems should be celebrated.
Tell us something worthwhile an old-type person has told you.
Note, we're leaving the definition of old up to you, you smooth-skinned youngsters.
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chthonic, Thu 19 Jun 2008, 16:16)
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An old man's tale from 2000 years agoIt was the end of the first millennium B.C. I was a keen follower of the Old Testament. This prohibited me from spilling my own seed. I was not very successful with the ladies, so I was often feeling a bit frustrated.
I was getting quite old and I was starting to question my faith. It was at this time I took up a job as a male maternity nurse. My first job was to assist with the delivery of a baby to be born to some woman who claimed she was still a virgin (yah right!). Obviously, this was the first time I'd see a woman close up. And on seeing Mary's hairy mary, I felt a stirring in my loins. It was nicer than I'd imagined it to be - in fact, so nice I exclaimed "Oh Jesus!" just as the baby was coming out. Before anyone else could get a word in, the birth registrar used that exclamation to name the newborn baby.
After the birth, I was so excited that I had the urge to touch my dick. I snuck off, touched it and had the unstoppable urge to keep stroking it. Then something happened - relief. I'd never been relieved like that before. The feeling was so enjoyable I wanted to do it again. My beliefs meant I felt slightly guilty afterwards, but so what - it was enjoyable. In my mind, I knew bad things would happen come judgement day, but I always ended up giving into my only body-part I had given an affectionate name.
And that was my A.D. vice from Old Pee-Pee.
(
mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 15:53,
2 replies)
*winds up*KER-SPANG!
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 16:06, closed)
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