To perpetuate a theme
My secondary school PE teacher was a cunt. He alwys used to strut about in his 80s-style trackie-bottoms that were way too tight, designed to show of his packet. It must have worked, cos he ended up shagging & then marrying (i'm assuming that was the order of events) the fit new French teacher.

I don't know if it was me he picked on cos I was better than him at cricket (even at 14), but he was forever niggling, so much that one day during a game of basket ball I snapped & punched him in the stomach.

To be fair to him, he took it & just kept on nipping at my heels for the rest of the game rather than meting out punsihment.

But the cunt had to rob of my moment of crowning glory in PE lessons. We weren't much of a rugby playing school (football 52 weeks of the year if democracy had ruled), so on this rare occasion we formed two teams, cuntpipe-chops on the other side.

The ball emerged from one of those pile-up things that occur, the lad in front of me turned round & passed it directly backwards to me. I knew enough about this strange game to start running with the ball. Things opened up before me. I strode ever more urgently towards minor-PE glory. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw Michael bearing down on me. Michael was a big lad, he played rugby for the school team & a club and everything. He was hard enough to get a really badly gashed knee & not cry. He could twat me into next week. But the line was close. Close enough if I could just....

The dive was what cliched it guv. The ball was duly grounded. My momentum took me forward, sliding along the ground & through a huge pile of dogshit, the remnants starting at the bottom of my right sleeve & ending at the top. I cared not one jot, I had scored.

Until that bearded twat with the prominent trackie-bulge declared "Scrum-down half way, forward pass".

And I was denied revenge when the teachers wimped out of the staff-student cricket game, that cunt was getting some chin music.

I hope his next shite was a hedgehog.
(Worthless wishes he had the brains of a pigeon, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 10:36, Reply)