Just happened
Nature calls, head to the toilet, pull up to a urinal and (after making sure the path is clear) make my transaction.

Finish, shake, put everything away and go to leave. Hear this line from behind me, "Didn't anyone ever teach you to wash your hands after you go?"

Why do people always ask this stupid ass line? It's infuriating, especially as I can go to the toilet WITHOUT PISSING ON MYSELF, and my penis isn't riddled with massively contagious diseases. I gently remind this person of said fact and leave.

I'm in a rush, I don't prepare food or work in a hospital, I have little contact with the peons at work as is (advantage of being an engineer in a small company) and when I do have contact, it isn't physical (and if it was, it would probably involve my penis, advantage to being in a workplace with a higher ratio of women to men).

Length? After a couple of pints I can usually hit it from across the room.
(UncleChuckles "Cthulhu fhtagn", Wed 7 May 2008, 9:47, 7 replies)

Hope you don't mind
if I don't shake your hand.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Wed 7 May 2008, 9:49, closed)

aha, finally
one of these that I actually agree with, and that doesn't drive me insane with rage at the sheer idiocy of some of the posts

I know I showered this morning. I know I showered every morning. I know my penis is almost certainly cleaner than either the taps or the door handles in this toilet and I've spent thirty-odd years perfecting not pissing on my own fingers. So I think I'll cope without washing my hands.
(loutre I've said too much, been too unkind, Wed 7 May 2008, 10:51, closed)

In our office
we have people who don't wash after a shit!

But really... you should
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 7 May 2008, 11:06, closed)

That's grim
I guess you have to open the toilet door with your hands as you are leaving? Therefore if my washed hand touches the same place as your unwashed hands that means I am effectively touching and picking up the skin cells from your penis. Therefore making me gay.

Another way to think of it is, if I held my penis and then asked you to suck my fingers, would you?

Please?
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Wed 7 May 2008, 11:16, closed)

What he said ^^^^
Wash your hands you clarty bastard.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 7 May 2008, 11:33, closed)

big smurf
that isn't another way to think about it. your cock might be filthy. I don't wash my hands because I happen to KNOW mine is clean.

also, where your fingers have been is less of a concern to me than the whole "why the fuck would I want to suck your fingers?" issue. ;)
(loutre I've said too much, been too unkind, Wed 7 May 2008, 11:49, closed)

Ahhh,
but if it has been tucked away in your pants all morning, surely a bit of cock sweat would have built up?
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Wed 7 May 2008, 12:20, closed)