Bus Cuntery
This is partly recycled from an older QOTW, so apologies if you've seen it before...

This tale of busanthropy involves a friend of mine. He doesn't like London bus drivers much. On the way home from a long, hot day at work, our bus driver was whizzing along his route like a rally driver, as they are wont to do. I quietly, reluctantly tolerate this kind of driving. My friend is not so patient and sees himself as a kind of Sam-Beckett-of -Quantum-Leap figure, putting right what only just went wrong. At the next red light, he paced up to the driver and said (in a richly condescending tone) "Oi, 'mate', what... are... you ... doing? It's a bus, not a sports car"

"I'm the driver, I know what I'm doing" crowed the bus driver, using that special arrogance that only Transport for London staff seem able to muster.

My mate's instant, bemused response has become legendary amongst my friends, and is regularly aired in our office:

"No mate, if you knew what you were doing, you wouldn't be *doing* what you're doing."

The open-mouthed driver pondered this succinct pearl of wisdom for a few seconds, then his head dropped as he suddenly and completely realised that his entire career was worthless shit.

Then the lights turned green. The bus pulled away slowly and we enjoyed the rest of the journey in limousine-smooth style.
( chart cat has an itch, Sat 31 May 2008, 19:29, 2 replies)

Man...
I don't believe in karma, but I also don't believe in tempting fate.

Mocking someone's work, unless they're a lawyer, real estate agent, used car salesman, or religious figure, can come back to haunt you, and the realization that ONE'S OWN career has been worthless shit, can be extremely rough.

I mean, let's face it, most of us are just one or two unlucky happenings from that realization.

Or am I the only one that's gone down the wrong career path not once, but multiple times, without much to show for it?
(not here, Sat 31 May 2008, 20:53, closed)

I too don't enjoy the sight
of one man mocking another mercilessly. However, in this case it was a well-deserved riposte to a driver with a particularly acute case of "holier than thou". It put him in his place and he drove properly, so it had the desired effect.

London bus drivers are cunts. I've yet to meet one who will even acknowledge me when I get on the bus. I make the effort to be a cheery passenger, so I expect a little reciprocal loving from time to time. That said, I wouldn't take it upon myself to berate the driver personally unless he'd committed some grave error of judgement. That's where my mate and I differ...
( chart cat has an itch, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 14:34, closed)