A Little Light pearoasting
Year ago, my mate Rich and I were regulars at the Greyhound, where we'd play pool and drink beer. A great boozer - the kind of place where they'd be pouring your pint as soon as they see you at the door if you've been there more than twice. Anyway, one summer evening Rich is beating me hollow at the pool table, as he was wont to do, when a backpacker-looking bloke staggers in, clearly shattered after a long day travelling and lugging all his worldly goods around on his back.

He took a good few minutes to unload his rucksack, sleeping bag, then take off his kagoule, etc. Meanwhile all eight or ten of us in the pub (it was a weeknight) were watching in that friendly way people do when they're regulars and you're not.

It turns out he's American. "Say, you have a notice outside saying you serve food all day?" he drawls.

The barman, who's a bit of a wag, says drily "Take a look out of the window. It's dark." The kitchen's still open for business, he's just taking the piss.

Backpacker bloke sighs heavily, then starts putting all of his gear back on, one piece at a time, then turns on his heel and staggers off into the night. Serenaded by gales of laughter coming from the pub.

I'm not sure whether the tourist was the ignorant one, or the barman, but man, it was funny!
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 18:35, 3 replies)

I'd say 'the barman'

1) he lost custom

2) the tourist may well have understood he was taking the piss, and thought 'I dont want to frequent a cunt filled dive like this anyway'
(essexfriend, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 18:54, closed)

"a cunt filled dive"
Aha - I see you've been there!
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:16, closed)

That's a bit cunty
For all you know, that poor yank could have wandered off and been bitten by a werewolf or anything. On the other hand, if he'd stayed if wouldn't get to fuck a fit Jenny Agutter nurse.

Edit: At least the barman didn't punch him in the face and nick his £20
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 19:25, closed)