oooooo it's my debut post
Long time reader, first time poster. Be gentle with me.

It was 1992 and I was a student in Brighton -a hard-up student, needing gainful employment. As all normal avenues were closed to me, I had no choice but to work at Sainsbury's. Whoopee and indeed doo.

While I never envisaged it being a long-term career, I had hoped it would last more than 2 weeks - but the bosses hadn't worked out that with a new Asda opening nearby the very week that I started, they might not get as much trade as in the past. So, on the Thursday of my second week, I was told I was "surplus to requirements". Holding back my tears, I resolved to get my revenge***

The perfect opportunity came the next day, which was my last. They'd made the fatal mistake of putting me in the alcoholic drinks section. My task was to restock the shelves with lager, bitter and other joyous fizzy beverages.

Only they weren't fizzy by the time I'd finished with them. I made sure that with every single can of every single four or six pack of beer/lager/whatever, I pulled the ring-pull *just enough* for it to go "phttttttttttttttt" and release the pressure, but not enough for it to be noticed.

Methodically, carefully, deliberately, I spent the entire day pulling ring-pulls, ensuring the good people of Brighton had flat, tasteless lager and bitter for many weeks to come.

Now you know why Sainsbury's profits plummeted in the early 90s.



As it's my debut, the more of you that click "I like this", the greater my length will be. That's how this place works, isn't it?


***Ok, I realise that I didn't QUIT per se, but it's pretty much the same scenario...
(iworkfortheBBCnoreallyido!, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:57, 5 replies)

Haha!
Stealth revenge! Smashing :D

Better than my plan for revenge, which was basically just smashing a window and setting the factory on fire.

I never DID it though :P
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Thu 22 May 2008, 17:12, closed)

You sir, disgust me.
What you did is wrong on so many levels.

I hope the God's of alcohol exact a terrible revenge one day.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 22 May 2008, 17:41, closed)

So Brighton had tasteless lager?
So basically everyone was drinking Carlsberg then???

That wouldn't have bothered me, weak that is, however if you had done it to Whisky or Brandy, i would've not been happy.

Actually I wouldn't have cared, i don't live near there.
(Mensa Reject has gone out, I'll be back on, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:03, closed)

Excellent!
Sometimes the subtle acts of revenge are the best ones.

Like the old saying says... Revenge is a dish best served cold!
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Fri 23 May 2008, 13:37, closed)

hmmm
i wonder how long it is before the locals find out it was you and hunt you down ;)
(Neomancer last looked smug on, Sat 24 May 2008, 23:56, closed)