If You Leave Me I'll Kill Myself! (X3)
My first two relationships were a couple of corkers. My first girlfriend was suicidal and twice tried to top herself whilst in my presence, by taking all of the paracetamol in the house. My 'fondest' memories of her involve trying to keep her locked in the lounge while she screamed and wailed like a banshee in an attempt to break out and reach the painkillers. Nice. Oh, and then she left me for her best friend, having slept with her behind my back. Lovely.

My second foray into the world of romance involved a suicidal bulimic who would regularly try and use emotional blackmail to make me choose between me and our mutual best friend at the time. Long story short, I told her to get lost - despite threats that she would kill herself - and emotional blackmail no longer has any effect on me. (She was seen alive and well several years later, so clearly, she failed in killing herself as badly as she failed in being a good girlfriend. She also dated Girlfriend #1 for a while. What a match.)

Then there was the guy who I slept with, foolishly thinking that I was dating him - only to realise he was having his end away with just about anyone else he fancied, but if I refused to come and meet him somewhere, he threatened suicide, too. (Also last seen alive and well within the past year.)

I also came out of a long-term relationship with a guy last year after - having lived with him for a year and a half - he asked if it would be okay to live separately? Er, no. Oh, and he also left me paying a joint mortgage for a house by myself. Thanks!

...wait, maybe I'M the crappy one... bollocks!
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Sat 23 Oct 2010, 20:41, Reply)