On the topic of substitute teachers
We had a trainee teacher for year 8 physics. The head of science was a terrifying guy, but this trainee was nervous as hell. His most flattering habit was leaning against the whiteboard with one arm raised in the air, displaying his massive sweat patches.

We called him Bo-Man.

Anyway, one of my classmates made it his mission to give this guy a nervous breakdown. The closest he got was when he took the rubber tubing off a bunsen burner, attached it to the gas pipe, and lit the end. This created a flamethrower. If you squeezed the melting rubber tubing, orange flames would fly ten feet across the classroom.

Bo-Man obviously doesn't know what to do. He's standing paralyzed by the board, dripping sweat, as Flamethrower Boy starts trying to set the plastic desk on fire.

Unfortunately, he decided to do it when the head of science was teaching in the adjacent lab. I don't think Flamethrower Boy was ever allowed to do anything more exciting than dissecting leaves with wooden sticks for the next few years...

Interestingly, Bo-Man got a job at my college teaching physics when I started my A-Levels. He didn't recognise me, but he gave Flamethrower Boy an incredibly dirty look every time he saw him.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 22:16, 1 reply)

Didn't know what to do?
Trainee or not, surely the first thing any new science teacher should be told is how to turn off the main gas valve for the room. I mean, it's not like there isn't at least one pyromaniac in every class (sometimes it's even the teacher).
(xanthine, Sun 1 Feb 2009, 4:57, closed)