more child abuse...
i used to collect baby jokes when i was younger. i expect all of these have been posted already, but i feel i need to say my bit, if only to justify that my youth wasn't totally wasted...


What's red and dances?
- A baby on a burner

What's red and hangs?
- A baby on a meat hook

What's green and hangs?
- The same baby six months later

What's black and blue and goes round and round?
- A baby in a tumble dryer

What's blue and bubbles and goes round and round?
- A baby in a washing machine

What's blue and bubbles and taps at the window?
- A baby in a fish tank

What's red and bubbles and taps at the window?
- A baby in a microwave

How do you make a dead baby float?
- Take your foot off its head

What's red and screams and can't turn around in a lift?
- A baby with a javelin through its head

What's the difference between a cartload of sand and a cartload of dead
babies?
- You don't unload sand with a pitchfork

What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?
- A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

What do you do after you've had a baby?
- Pull its nappy up

What's worse than having sex with a five year old?
- Him telling you he's had it better
(fay, Thu 8 Dec 2005, 23:31, Reply)