milk and roller boots
when i was a kid, i was given a pair of roller boots. proper ones, with wheels in the corners, none of that in-line nonsense. i loved those boots, i went everywhere in them.
one day, mum asked me to go to the shop for a pint of milk. i was happy to go, as a 10p mixed bag was my reward and i could skate there and back.
within minutes, i was happily skating home with the bottle of milk clutched tightly in my pudgy hand. i got home and skated into the living room, where we'd just had a shagpile carpet laid.
shagpile doesn't like rollerboots. shagpile wraps around wheels.
within moments, i was airborne, one of my feet actually being pulled out of its skaty covering. backwards i fell, putting my arm out to cushion my fall. unfortunately, my arm twisted as i landed on it, causing it to snap quite painfully. i screamed. mum screamed. then she phoned an ambulance.
despite falling and breaking my arm, the milk never left my hand. the bottle remained intact and not a drop was lost.

fucking shagpile.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Jan 2010, 20:47, 1 reply)

fucking shagpile
sounds like a great name for a swingers' club.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 25 Jan 2010, 1:33, closed)