Courtney Love Juice
Only my second post.... So please be nice...

Well, as a 17 year old metaller oik I had been out on the lash with a mate, his girlfriend and her not too attractive friend. After the pub shut we retired to their house and continued boozing, by which point we were all in the realms of Oliver Reed like drunkenness. After a while her behemoth like friend suggested I go back to hers for some sexy time. With my beer goggles bearing the strength of rum fuelled Hubble Telescopes I keenly agreed and couldnt wait to discover the joys of not being a virgin anymore.

We got to her place via a dingy rubbish strewn stairwell and proceeded to kiss and went straight to the bedroom and got naked. However, the soundtrack to our drunken fumbling was Hole's Kurt plagiarising album Live Through This. On repeat. Whether I would live through it or even want to was firly on my mind at the time as we got down to it. 'I'm renowned for my blowjobs' said the jellified shape before me. 'Oh good' Thought I. I guess she was renowned becuase the whole experience was very similar (I'd imagine) to having my nethers gobbled by a toothless labrador. All while the harpy Courtney Love warbled tunelessly in the background. Needless to say I did what I had to do and promptly passed out to wake the following morning to the same album on repeat.

This was fourteen years ago and I've never been able to listen to Hole until last week when I Spotify'd it and reminisced to a time in my life where I was sexually abused by an albino orungutang.

The follwing week, talk of my deeds were the topic of conversation and it transpired that out of the 12 guys around the table 11 had all experienced the very same thing. The one remaining guy sat smug in his difference until the following week when he joined the ranks of our flump shagging Apostles.
(Mongoose Gerald, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 14:24, 4 replies)

This
"...reminisced to a time in my life where I was sexually abused by an albino orungutang."

:)
( Funkenschlag still likes dogs more than cats, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 14:41, closed)

That gets a click
Merely for the line "sexually abused by an albino orungutang".

Only on b3ta...
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 28 Jan 2010, 14:46, closed)

I listen to
Rape Me by Nirvana every time I go out raping !
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 16:12, closed)

'Flump Shagging Apostles'...
...mirth on a stick. Excellent.
(i.charlius *Two Ronnies Theme*, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 17:35, closed)