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Godwin's Lawyer tells us: "I once worked with a lad who believed 'Frankenstein' was based on a true story, and that the book was written by Shirley Bassey." Tell us about your workplace dopes.

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:34)
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Hm
I worked with a Canadian girl who had a Masters degree from Oxford who was in a massive panic one morning because she thought she would get pregnant after her boyfriend (on the first night they spent together) splurged on to her stomach. They didn’t even have sex. She was under the impression his spunk would go down through her belly button and make her pregnant.
(, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 12:13, 22 replies)
Probably the 'Oxford Masters'
i.e. a BA.

I was Welfare Officer for my College when I was at Oxford, which involved distributing pregnancy tests, condoms, etc. and offering advice and support on any sort of issue.

The sexual misconceptions of supposedly highly educated people never ceased to amaze me...
(, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 12:19, closed)
Nah
she had an MSC in Forced Migration.

I pity the Welfare Officers at the Colleges. The one at mine had to fight off objections from Neo-Liberal American students that providing condoms was to someone's private benefit and therefore shouldn't be subsidised by the JCR.
(, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 12:22, closed)
Someone at ours tried to ban drinking
at JCR meetings, as it led to a 'combative and unhelpful atmosphere'.

They had a point (it was free booze so everyone was normally out of their skull, and the President of the Boat Club occasionally used to turn up with a loudspeaker and shout people down), but it was never the sort of thing any student body would pass, really...

It also used to annoy me when you got really pious, serious motions. I'm still unsure whether 300 students objecting to the Israeli occupation of the Gaza Strip has ever had a positive effect on the daily lives of Palestinians...

As Churchill said, "Student politics are so vicious because the stakes are so low"
(, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 12:28, closed)
Yeah
we had an attempt to ban drinking too. It didn't get anywhere.

The best motion I ever heard was one proposing that my college declare war upon Christchurch and annexe its grounds. Unfortunately this didn't pass either.
(, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 12:33, closed)
As I recall, we passed a motion demanding the college revoke Corpus Christi's tenancy.
Nowt happened, of course.
(, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 13:27, closed)
They pay for your booze?
Pfft obviously St Johns.

Hardly anyone goes to ours, too boring generally.
(, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 13:35, closed)
Wish our
college had given out free booze.

The worst one I went to was St. Cats... my god it was boring
(, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:43, closed)
We only get free booze
on special occasions.

St Catz isn't so bad. When I visited there the JCR drinks were cheapish
(, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:58, closed)
Yeah
The only time I got free booze was the Summer Ball. Rest of the year it was strictly kept away from the students.

Meh, I just didn't like St. Catz. Not as much as I didn't like Magdalen though.
(, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 19:37, closed)
I've been for dinner there once
apart from that I've only been to the occasional film showing
(, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 2:29, closed)
Pembroke
Poorest College, richest student union.
(, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 15:38, closed)
Pembroke eh?
I should've gone there to get free drinks :(

I know New College had a free drink thing at some parties. That was in no way abused.
(, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 15:45, closed)
Bristol Uni Union stopped
They got complaints from rah parents that they were encouraging their vagfruit to go about fucking everything that moved as soon as going to university.

As if they needed any encouragement.
(, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 13:24, closed)
When was that?

(, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 0:02, closed)
2005?
Somewhere around then.
(, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 0:57, closed)
Ah, before my time then.
Just by a year, mind.
(, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 11:53, closed)
fakin arts graduates

(, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 12:19, closed)
Quite.
I'm often quite suprised at how naive girls are about their own biology. You can find some very well educated young girls who really don't understand quite how they get knocked up.
(, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 12:56, closed)
Could the goo not have dribbled down her belly
.... and come to rest on her fajita? One accidental sneeze and whooooosh - up into her girlie bits?

I'm not an expert in biology mind
(, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 13:56, closed)
Is this part of your 'Flubber' theory of human fertilisation?

(, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:46, closed)
When my wife was pregnant with out first
She asked if the baby was attached to her belly button. She didn't mean the foetus had the umbilical cord attached to her belly button she meant did the cord come out of the foetus and attach to the mothers belly button. I'd facepalm but I don't want to be accused of being a lefty fag hag again.
(, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 15:37, closed)
How dare you!
How dare you sympathise with people, you bastard!

*shakes fist*
(, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 8:40, closed)

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