photo shop customers.
years ago i worked for a cheap photofinishing house. there were a family of chee-a-fats who came in all the time (does anyone know where the name chee-a-fat comes from?), but my favourite name belonged to someone else.

one day a middle-aged woman wandered in to drop off a roll of film. i asked for her name and phone number for the tag. she gave me the number, looking slightly determined, then spelled her last name out for me. spelling difficult names is common, but she didn't even say it first, and it was, in fact, an easy name to spell. looking me directly in the eye, out of her mouth came the letters "m-o-n-s-t-e-r".

i didn't smirk, but i did call her mrs. monster while thanking her. she became a regular customer, bringing in lots of pictures of her husband and kids, and every time she was in the shop, i had to hold back from asking her the questions burning in my head: "how are you today? how's your husband? and how are all the little monsters?"
( postbear has metal knees, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 5:16, Reply)

Olympic Names Over the Years
There is Dick Pound (IOC), a swimmer called Misty Hymen and a few years ago, another swimmer called Tyler Painter. Daft...
( Strangey is present at, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 5:13, Reply)

I have, at various times in my life known:
Gemma Muff
Jenna Taylor
Gideon Mycock
Katharine Hoare
Albertine Hawley
Sheysa Mann

And then there's my own name, but I'm not foolish enough to tell you THAT.
(DeeDee, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 5:02, Reply)

in one that should please the pirate lovers...
where I work, there's a guy called Garry Jolley-Rogers (arr, arr)
( woowoowoo, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 4:47, Reply)

TOTP
One of the production team on Top Of The Pops (Editor?) was Dick Pull.
(Supercelts7, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 4:44, Reply)

Destined to be an Asian porn star
www.nccunderground.com/nicename.jpg

A friend of mine in my fraternity was looking at records at Georgia Tech (i.e. this is a not a faked screenie)
(TheWildMan2000, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 3:56, Reply)

At least he wasn't named Richard
I played in orchestra with a bassist named "Bill Penix". He was also a track star in high school and every time he went to a meet and his name was shouted out over the PA, everyone would crane their necks to see this guy.

He actually was a sweet, talented, handsome guy. I'd love to know what happened to him.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 3:36, Reply)

my sisters
are nurses and they used to work with a 'Dr Kill'.
The former premier of our state was called Jim Bacon and his wifes name was Honey.
I swear in high school I heard over the PA 'could Robin Hood please come to the office'
A friend of mine changed his name to 'Cloud Of Unknowing' and he was a teacher for a while.
...and my own contribution, my name is Bonde, Cameron James Bonde. My mum really wanted to call me James... that was a close one
(Vectrex, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 3:29, Reply)

names
Mary Fukuto & David S Hamburger
both from the end titles of most episodes of "Cheers".

Wayne King, from my school, amusingly enough he once got caught doing just that...

I have a mate who's surname is Turtle. My, how he suffered when the Ninja Turtles thing hit...

I am reliably informed that there used to be a Mrs Queenie Cumber working in a tax office in Ipswich.
( A Lurker jacked up on B3ta on, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 3:22, Reply)

I have had the pleasure of knowing..
Dick Gaye

and

Helen Back.
( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 2:41, Reply)

why? why?
I asked around:
At my secondary school, we had an Alice Cooper and a Richard William Gay. Also, when I worked in a supermarket, I was handed a credit card with the name 'Peter Rabbit' on it..

My mum's best friend had a boss - Mr. R Sole.

My brother had a food tech teacher called Mrs. Eatwell (arf!)

but best of all, in my opinion - my boyf had a lecturer at uni called Dick Craven... Fantastic

edit: Ooh, something I did forget to say - If anyone has the same middle name as me(Rose), then remember, when you go out looking for prospective husbands, avoid anyone with these last names; Bush, Tree, Flower, Wood, Plant....
(lard-tastic, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 2:08, Reply)

My name is Tucker. It's not funny.
In y11 chemistry i sat next to a girl names Jenny Taylor. The teacher of that class was called Mr Pratt. The headmaster was John Thomas. I wasn't the only one who suffered.

the best bit was when i had this conversation with my Graphics teacher and he introduced me to Bum Farto ("Mr and Mrs Farto and their little Bum", as he said)
(underachiever, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 1:58, Reply)

Famous Names
I met a guy who's actual real name was Michael Bolton. You know, like in that Mike Judge movie.

He had a sense of humor about it, though.

I've also known a James Dean.

edit: I shouldn't be talking. I myself have got a stupid German name that nobody can pronounce. At least it's not slang for anything interesting.
(fantastic german, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 1:30, Reply)

Once knew a girl in elementary school named MARY...
Naturally, her last name was Christmas. Very witty (albeit, unoriginal) props to be given to her mom and dad.
(Wilzon321, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 1:18, Reply)

The person about three places from the bottom of this link
Goddamn stupid name

is the most stupidly named person I've ever met.

I didn't even know about him until I read the football and rugby team names at school...

and the best thing was that his dad was called Richard...perhaps explaining where this child abuse started.
(Kristophertitikaka, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 0:49, Reply)

Teresa Brown
is a good one.

especially wen her maiden name was Green.

but that's coming from Haddon Edward Chippington Derrick.

and yes, that is my real name.
(hingesII, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 0:47, Reply)

When I worked at a call centre
we used to get a lot of Thai names being entered into the system - they had to show identity, so the names couldn't be made up. My favourite was 'Kittyporn ThongKat'
There was also a girl I used to go to school with called Jenny De'Ath
(Choaderboy, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 0:45, Reply)

Almost for got about this guy
There was a motorcycle racer called Ray Swann. When his name was read out over the PA system asking him to come to race control, every rider in Race One turned up.

There is/was a one-legged sidecar racer called Mick Skidmore too.
(ianisme, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 0:27, Reply)

I worked in a call centre many moons ago
... and spoke to a Mr M Brown - Tunnel (No Sh1t [Sorry]) there were regulations about getting the customers name into a conversation three times, I managed it about 33 times! My mate also spoke to a guy called Mr Ramjam Funkyboogaloo Smythe I googled for him and found him! I haven't dared tried googling for Mr Brown - Tunnel I'm not sure I could bear the Goatsesque images!
(B3atMessiah, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 0:19, Reply)

my old chem assistant teacher in high sc hool
..was called miss ellaneous (not sure of spelling, but you get the idea). i'm not kidding. ...and she was about 25 at the time and a total knockout...aaahhh the good ol' days...
(goorf, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 0:17, Reply)

Been having a bit of a tidy up and found a bundle of old business cards...
While flicking through them to sort out which I needed to keep, I found one for the president of a south korean computer games company called Makkoya.
The name on the card was :
Dong-He, Hong
Seriously, this was the name printed on the card.
And he works for a games company.

In fact, just dug the card out again, here it is:

Gotta be a wind-up, surely? Anyone able to confirm for me?
( GigerPunk has, hopefully, slept since, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 0:14, Reply)

At school, there's
this girl named Amber Rowsell. Her email address is arowsell@...
Gets me every time
(Nearly, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 0:12, Reply)

my mum
was called teresa green before she got married
(sir swear a lot yes., Fri 27 Aug 2004, 0:11, Reply)

Meet...
Randy Virgin, executive director of the Alaska Center for the Environment (Use the search function in your browser to find his name).
( Grampa, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 23:59, Reply)

Probably been said but...
... Ima Cunt.

www.imdb.com/name/nm1511635/

Also there's an Archaeologist or someone who does somethign relating to it called Gay Robbins.
(Vega31, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 23:55, Reply)

Japanese - American Kid, last name of Ide
had an unpronounceable first name, for round eyes for sure. So he had his first name legally changed to Buster.

We suggested he change his last name to Fazoo.
(Fuzzbutt aka Mr. Natural, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 23:43, Reply)

i do actually have a friend
richard williams, but he is known to everyone as dick willy, and thats how he introduces himself, nice young chap...
( [DTMX] Fishing hook, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 23:39, Reply)

Racer Dick leVan.
A painter at PGSA, and one of the nicest guys I've ever known. He was the teddy bear of every girl on campus, and incredibly talented as well.

However, his parents were probably on drugs when they named him.

However, I dodged a bullet when my mother decided to name me Emilie (after the CAT, of all things) instead of Esmerelda. We are not hispanic by any means- it would have made my life utterly miserable, having been cursed with the last name of Salmon to boot.
(GirnsieBabes- Ring baloney once! Ring baloney twice! Hey-ya, Kutztown sure is nice!, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 23:35, Reply)

heres mine
My english teacher is named Uma G. Dumas. I am not joking. I'm guessing her first name was "Ima", but she legally changed it. :P
(sirwootalot, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 23:33, Reply)

A Levels
On this years German A Level examinations (AQA) there was a character in the listening exercise called 'Willi Putz' which basically translates as "the act of wiping ones cock".
(chrisb, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 23:32, Reply)