NHS jargon
"Miss Chien, your CT shows you have a 12cm mass on your ladyparts" were not the most reassuring words it is possible for a nurse to say.

Thankfully the surgeon's knowledge of anatomy was slightly more specific and he managed to save my ovary.

Length? The diameter was about the size of an orange.
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Thu 5 Apr 2012, 22:14, 2 replies)

As per my post above.
We got to the breast clinic a couple of weeks after my missus' mastectomy, where the receptionist told us they had some results for us - you could imagine we were fairly stressed out & apprehensive.
Cue the surgeon saying "Nope, sorry nothing yet, better they have them longer than make a mistake". Cue my wife bawling in fear, anger and frustration.

I don't think the receptionist worked there long after that.

The surgeon chased us down as we were walking to the carpark, he'd rung histology and got something off them and then bolted out of his office after us.
"Preliminary results show negative" has never had a nicer ring to it...
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 7 Apr 2012, 5:52, closed)

:(
Faack.
Both of you well done for not killing someone.
And glad to hear positive results for all.
(Le Grenouille, Wed 11 Apr 2012, 0:31, closed)