I just remembered this, it was years ago
at the supermarket on King Street in Aberdeen. It was a Fine Fare then, and the car park had those barrier things that swing up and down - to prevent unauthorised parking by local office drones, I assume. Automatic on the way in, but to get out there was a wee man who'd check your receipt and then press a button to raise the barrier. All very inefficient and the cause of pointless queues to get out at busy times.

So one busy Friday afternoon I'd done a mega-shop and absent-mindedly shoved the receipt into one of the dozen or so Fine Fare bags now occupying the back seats of my car. After queueing for a few minutes it's my turn at the barrier, which is when I realised I didn't have the receipt to hand. I wound my window down and said, "sorry, it's in one of these bags". Translation: I've obviously just been shopping here.

But oh no. "Aye, but I need to see your receipt," says wee man.

"Oh, come on!"

"Ah cannae let ye beat the system, pal," he informs me crossly, and then starts to lecture me for being inconsiderate and holding everything up, during which I get out of the car intending to start wading through the bags on the back seat. Wee man stands impatiently in his wee booth, droning on about my utter worthlessness or something, until I crack.

"Fuck this," I tell him, and lock the car and walk off. I feel a bit guilty when horns start going and there's shouting and a lot of swearing. But I walk round the side of the supermarket, go back in and ask to see the duty manager, to whom I explain what's going on. He says, "oh shit, not again," and we both go back out to the car park. Duty Manager has words with the wee man, the barrier is raised, and off I go.

Epilogue: a friend of mine phones me that evening to tell me that he was stuck well back in the mayhem, and thought I'd lost my mind. But apparently the wee man was ordered away from his wee booth and the barrier stayed up, presumably to avoid a riot / lynching of wee man.

Epi-epilogue: within two weeks of this incident, the barriers were removed permanently, to everyone's benefit. I like to think that my bold, uncompromising and frankly courageous actions had a positive effect on the quality of the lives of the citizens of the fair City of Aberdeen.

Moral: don't let jumped up little twats get away with it. Call their bluff. Lovely things will happen if you do. Or you might get a good kicking.

Apologies for length of time spent queueing to everyone involved.
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Sun 23 Sep 2007, 14:47, Reply)