You CAN polish a turd.
Just get a relatively solid stool, coat it in nitro cellulose laquer (the stuff they coat guitars with) and let it harden. Add a few more layers until it's pretty substantial, then polish away to your heart's content.
( Sonic James Doom is reading Glass Books of the Dream Eaters - loves, Mon 12 May 2008, 10:24, Reply)

Nitrocellulose? Won't that make it explosive?

( idonthaveafunnynickname is sober on St Patrick's Day, Mon 12 May 2008, 21:32, )

^^^
You're thinking of trinitryl cellulose.

Or maybe not. I just made that up, but it fooled me into thinking I was clever.
(Maudlin McCann spreading the word of Owstwick, Tue 13 May 2008, 17:50, )

shiny shit eh...
your correct, but yes nitro cellulose will make it explosive. mate, make one and post the vid, worlds shinyest most devasting shit.
(mrkyle he's a silly bastard, the one who posted before me, Tue 13 May 2008, 22:59, )

Wiki:
Nitrocellulose lacquer was used as a finish on guitars for most of the 20th century and is still used on some current applications. Manufactured by (among others) Dupont, the paint was also used on automobiles sharing the same color codes as many guitars, primarily Fender brands of guitars. It is also used on Gibson Guitars.[1]


Flaming, shiny, polished shit. Oh yes.
( Sonic James Doom is reading Glass Books of the Dream Eaters - loves, Thu 15 May 2008, 9:36, )

Um..
Nitro cellulose lacquer wont cause your shit to explode, trinitroglycerin would (TNT).
( Rolypoly Has decided, by decree, that todays date will be, Sat 17 May 2008, 21:18, )