How slow can a clock go?
Despite working in a busy company, after a restructure 3 months ago I still dont have a proper job. The one time I tried suggesting I had no work to my boss I got into so much trouble I wanted to cry/quit/stab.

So now I sit here day by day going madder with nothing to do.

I have a screen that faces the office so I have to be descrete. I spend all day reading random websites as much as I can with complicated spreadsheets open to look like work. For fun I go to the toilet and sit in there for an hour at a time playing on my iphone.

I was off sick once and no one noticed despite me being out of the office.

I asked yesterday if I could have some more work from the department head yesterday and got told that there may be something for me to do in March.

Boredom and madness have now taken over but I get paid too much to just walk out and have no idea what other work to do.

To make it worse I commute 2 hours to London and then 2 hours home to be bored for 8 hours.

No funnys here, but it was something to do for 10 minutes.
(Wooden meal is. Or is he?, Thu 8 Jan 2009, 13:58, 3 replies)

Man you are not being creative enough.
If your workplace has plugs bring everything in your home that runs on batteries into work to charge them up. Don't hold back, get a UPS if necessary.

Make your home life more efficient, do all your shopping, banking and bill paying on the companies computer. Skip on the cleaning routine in the morning, why not brush your teeth and shave in the loos? after all your rechargeable shaver and toothbrush are now in your place of work.

Send mail using the companies facilities.

see how long you can get away with leaving five mins earlier each day.

ebay the stuff around you that you dont use.

Sign up for an OU course/ teach yourself how to computer program.

write a homoerotic novel using your co-workers as the cast.

watch DVD boxsets from your PC and take up smoking.

Sneak off to do bongs with the cleaners.

start up your own line of T-shirts at cafepress.com or create a online webcomic.

bring in a kettle and spend time making proper brewed tea and coffee. no more vending machine shite for you!

See if you can make your evening meal at work.

secluded warm place nearby? get a demijohn or two and start a home brewing enterprise.

Photocopy your arse

work on your CV / start your own job hunting website.

Get a copy of Dilbert: the joy of work

Become a troll on /talk
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 8 Jan 2009, 22:46, closed)

Sign up for an OU course/ teach yourself how to computer program.
this, its your ticket out of there
(kebabking - salad and garlic mayo pls, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 13:58, closed)

reaaaaly slow!
That sounds eerily familiar. Hang in there, at least you've got an iphone!

Application forms look very much like work, I've found...

/fingers crossed
( multijoy, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 23:59, closed)