Give the same speech as before, then.
Remember to get the bride's name wrong once or twice.
( ,
Wed 3 Sep 2003, 17:18,
archived)
In that case you should probably start with
"Is anyone else getting a sense of déjà vu?"
( ,
Wed 3 Sep 2003, 17:19,
archived)
for fucks sake
do NOT under any circumstances refer to his previous marriage in your speech.
( ,
Wed 3 Sep 2003, 17:20,
archived)
How about
the woman he lived with before that. She was a fat ugly little inbred troll. Plenty of anecdote material there.
( ,
Wed 3 Sep 2003, 17:23,
archived)
only if it's really bloody funny
the bride does not want to be thinking about her new husband's previous ladies. Even in a "god they were ugly" context.
( ,
Wed 3 Sep 2003, 17:24,
archived)
Well I was thinking of developing
it into a thread of a (long) list of ugly miseries culminating in the one he got up the duff (current).
( ,
Wed 3 Sep 2003, 17:26,
archived)
don't forget
to say how pretty the bridesmaids look, and avoid using the words tart, slut, bitch, clap, tosser or cunt and you won't go far wrong
( ,
Wed 3 Sep 2003, 17:24,
archived)
How about this?
The bridesmaids. Two of them look stunning and the other has scrubbed up not too badly considering. And if you were to ask me, I would, I wouldn't and I have in that order.
( ,
Wed 3 Sep 2003, 17:32,
archived)
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
perfect, then go on to discuss the relative merits of the bride and groom's mums, specifically which one you'd let give you head, then do a homoerotic bit about the dads. After all that, I'll be happy to give you a lift home from casualty
( ,
Wed 3 Sep 2003, 17:39,
archived)