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[challenge entry] topical

From the Unlikely iPhone Apps challenge. See all 327 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:49, archived)
# *snort*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:49, archived)
# hahah christ
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:50, archived)
# wow hahaha
I went to see Rusell Howard last night. It was a Father's day present.

It was erm... OK.
I had a kebab afterwards - THAT was fantastic!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:50, archived)
# this is the most lucid review of anything ever
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)
# You can see the headlines
Russel Howard - not as good as a kebab
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:52, archived)
# the only thing that let the kebab down was the lack of chilli peppers
dozy deaf kebab man
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)
# haha
I've only ever had a kebab once - it gave me food poisoning

I'm not sure Russell Howard's that bad
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)
# you should eat another one
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:54, archived)
# this
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:00, archived)
# that's mean ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Hol[]y - WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:00, archived)
# it's not!
one needs to get past these things!

my first murder was a really scary messy affair. I cried for days afterwards, but after a few more I find it quite natural now.
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)
# i find the crying to be my favourite bit
that and the masturbation
(I helped save b3ta! Hol[]y - WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:05, archived)
# don't give all the secrets away otherwise everyone will start doing it
and there'll be nobody left for the likes of us!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)
# You, you're clever.
Salmonella- overhyped?

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:00, archived)
# It can lay you out for weeks can't it?
And not in the good way.
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)
# I'm trying to work out why all of the arsebad is upon me.
I only had a roast dinner yesterday- chicken. I didn't cook it....
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)
# are you sure someone else did?
that could be your problem ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Hol[]y - WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:04, archived)
# This is my thinking
it was my best mate, and he's usually VERY careful about all that, as his girlfriend (my other best friend) is very stomach-orientated.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:05, archived)
# it could just be gastroenteritis
there's a lot of it about you know!


/granny blog
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)
# BRB.
Hopefully lucky number seven.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)
# GRIP THAT SEAT!
RRAAAAAAAARGH!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)
# ooh nasty
not sure if I've ever had salmonella. I've had campylobacter - that's no fun
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:05, archived)
# What's that?
Does it make your diarrhoea smell of tuna cat food?

Yes, I have no shame, I just want to know what this is.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)
# you sure you haven't actually been eating cat food?
www.wrongdiagnosis.com/c/campylobacter_food_poisoning/symptoms.htm
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)
# Could it not be
the tuna cat food you ate yesterday?
(I helped save b3ta! Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)
# did you have anything to drink (i.e. alcohol) as well?
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)
# Nope, just water...
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)
# is anyone else ill?
er, of people who had chicken
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:29, archived)
# "Motile,
with either uni- or bi-polar flagella"

sounds enjoyable :)

i had an un-diagnosed vom-fest while living abroad that the doctor treated with an anti-biotic which:

1 - didn't farking work, and

2 - turned my piss red

the one thing that makes you feel better about the fact that you may be dying of dysentery is believing that you're bleeding through your wiener >_<
(I helped save b3ta! Hol[]y - WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)
# clever pfft
I'm a natural cynic, so I'd say it's overhyped

I reckon it's down to most people being generally unhealthy and unable to fight things off
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)
# Well that certainly doesn't sound like me.
I'm surprisingly healthy for a smoker.

Hmm.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:04, archived)
# he has a strong following in his local city
it's a bit odd really.

A lot of his jokes are done in a Bristol accent and I couldn't understand what he was saying.
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:52, archived)
# He strikes me as the kinda comic that doesn't actually say anything funny but because he shouts it at you, you feel you need to laugh
The way you applaud children because they managed to do a wee in the toilet rather than their pants
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)
# yes it was a bit like that
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:54, archived)
# "Russell Howard - not as good as a kebab, and rather like a child weeing in the toilet"
it must be dead easy being an arts correspondent
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)
# haha
TO THE SUNDAY OBSERVER!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)
# I've just realised who he is
He is the unfunniest, unfunny, utter, utter twat
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:58, archived)
# heh did a Q&A at the end
I wanted to ask him if he was as scared of Frankie Boyle as he looks, but I have a stinking cold and didn't think I could project it well enough
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:01, archived)
# I'm not that arsed about his stand-up
but he has a radio show on 6 music (with Jon Richardson) that I quite enjoy, mostly because they behave like a couple of children who have been handed a mic).
(I helped save b3ta! Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)
# What manner of kebab?
Was it a kind of grown-up kebab with identifiable animal in it, or did you go for the full monty Doner spectacularrrr?
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:01, archived)
# it was a donner classic
I could have had the super mixed donner/shish/kofte/chicken/badger surprise but it's been such a long time since I've had one that I wanted to rekindle some fond memories of the classic donner with salad and chill soss.

there was even a pissed idiot in the shop to add to the classic experience

No sodding chilli peppers though :(
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:04, archived)
# Mmmmmm.....
nomnomnomnomnom....
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)
# hahaha
too soon!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:50, archived)
# TOO SOON :(


:D

This is wonderful really.
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:52, archived)
# hahaha! Aceness!!



(I helped save b3ta! Mstandot I suppose I should post more often., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:52, archived)
# Rampage world tour
God I loved that game
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:54, archived)
# super-fantastico!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Hol[]y - WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:57, archived)
# Lawks!
the pun is strong in this one...
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 9:58, archived)
# Ha ha, brilliant.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:05, archived)
# haha
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)
# hahahahaha
and super props for using the '77 remake poster.

"The most original spectacle in the history of cinema"... urm... apart from the original
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)