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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Fuck that shit.
What events do you think will be appropriate for the b3ta olympics?

That's right it's like a round from I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, but only if you imagine the panel are retards.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:44, 128 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Anything related to the Spacker Olympics in a few weeks time.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:46, Reply)
There should be blind football
but they're not blind they just don't like football so they think if they just close their eyes it'll go away.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:47, Reply)
test lol

(, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 19:01, Reply)
drawing with crayons

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:47, Reply)
whinge-off
arm flailing
sex pestery
most lies in a minute

etc
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:47, Reply)
Lunch Marathon
26 meals in 4 hours.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:48, Reply)

Pizza eating
Wanking
Crying
Chewing the head dobber
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:48, Reply)
sweaty palm clinging
competitors are shown a photo of megan fox and then stuck to a glass wall by their sweaty hands, last to fall off wins
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:50, Reply)
Haha.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:50, Reply)
Ballroom flouncing.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:52, Reply)
That's not funny.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:53, Reply)
You haven't seen his wife !!

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:59, Reply)
She'd win gold at the para(so)lympics!!!!!!!!!!

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:00, Reply)
she's got bags of personality though

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:01, Reply)
Trollathlon?
think it's bindun, though.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:53, Reply)
Penis photography

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:53, Reply)
Last laugh contest.
Everyone in a stadium tells a story and laughs at how funny it is, whoever is the last person laughing wins "respect"
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:54, Reply)
100 metres trolley dash.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:54, Reply)

sweatiest moob.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:56, Reply)
Throwing the toys from the pram.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:56, Reply)
Ukulele jump

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:58, Reply)
Sooo...Chris Packham.
Nonce or poove?
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:58, Reply)
I've shagged his cousin.
His *female* cousin, comedians.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:59, Reply)
Soooo....
Nonce or poove?
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:59, Reply)
WTFAYBOA?

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:01, Reply)
Chris Packham.
Nonce or poove?
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:08, Reply)
but why the question?
i know he's lispy and a bit weird but i think he's married or something? is there something in the news i've missed?

i'd say he was a poove, but you never know
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:09, Reply)
Because I wanted an answer, Q
Honestly, do I really have to explain how the English language works again? :(
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:11, Reply)
BUT WHY???
WHY THE ASSUMPTION THAT A MAN NOBODY'S CARED ABOUT FOR 20 YEARS COULD BE A BUMMER OR A NONCE?

WHY????????????????
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:12, Reply)
Cos he's well creepy innit

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:15, Reply)
i guess a bit yeah
some bird i know fancied him though
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:17, Reply)
He spends his whole time looking at birds.
Straight as, I'd say.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:13, Reply)
And naked birds, at that.
Case proved I reckon.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:14, Reply)
Right as always, Bri, right as always.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:17, Reply)
Alright? Thanks for the Chimichurri. Excellent stuff.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:27, Reply)
Not bad at all ta. Glad you enjoyed it.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:32, Reply)
but are they underage birds?
eh? eh? and i bet he's seen a cockatoo
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:15, Reply)
i have that on a cushion
it says "i've never had a parrot but i've kissed a cockatoo"
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:15, Reply)
The elegant and classy Northern wit at work

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:16, Reply)
the lady who sewed my cushions was from surrey and had a cut glass accent
so stick that up your syphilis infested japs eye
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:17, Reply)
Sewed your cushions?
So you commissioned her for it?

Oh dear. I thought they were a novelty present or something, not an item that you specifically requested. Oh swipe :(
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:18, Reply)
i have lots of them
when you have magnolia walls, a cream carpet, and a cream sofa, there has to be colour somewhere.

feel free to buy me MOAR presents.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:19, Reply)
Not when I'm not getting anything in return, I won't
and no, the "benefit" of your company doesn't count.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:20, Reply)
lovely, thanks for sharing
now i can imagine it covered in your teeth marks too, brilliant

and shit stains, loads and loads of shit stains, and it being greasy with lube, and all that not-bacon you eat

you filthy, disgusting cunt
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:17, Reply)
hang on
i said "cushion". not "your mum's pants".
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:17, Reply)
well played
absolute blinder, there
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:18, Reply)
it was that or "your dad's bedding"
why not both
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:19, Reply)
cos papi don't sing to me no more :(

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:20, Reply)
You *can* be both, you know.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:01, Reply)
He hates Pandas
so he's great
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:14, Reply)
Pandas *are* shit
I'll give him that. Evolutionary dead-ends, should be left to die out the way Nature intends.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:16, Reply)
400 meter noncing

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:59, Reply)
Well Daley has fucked up the diving the prick.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:59, Reply)
He's just there to pose for billboard adverts.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:00, Reply)
They did really well in the first three rounds
They were leading, but then they got a score in the low 70s and came forth.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:01, Reply)
same thing happened at the archery yesterday
pricks
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:02, Reply)
at least the volleyball team had the dignity to lose from the start

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:04, Reply)
And multiplied?

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:04, Reply)
This means nothing to me.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:08, Reply)
Afternoon 'Midge'

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:09, Reply)
oh, vienna

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:09, Reply)
fucks sake
it's just falling with style, how do you fuck that up?
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:01, Reply)
By not having any style?

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:02, Reply)
he's the justin bieber of falling off planks, how can he not have any style?

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:03, Reply)
oh god damn it
i zinged you so good in the previous thread and now you're all over here and up in someone else's grille.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:06, Reply)
link me up, shitfertits

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:07, Reply)
found it, thanks swipe
xxxxx
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:11, Reply)
shit for tits?
i quite like that. i am stealing it.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:14, Reply)
:(
mentally scarring images there
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:18, Reply)
Well they hit the water. So the falling bit they had BANG ON, just the style bit I think.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:02, Reply)
as usual, gravity's done more than its fair share of the work

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:03, Reply)
I liked his Decathlon game.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:02, Reply)
We're currently 17th in the medal tables
Beaten by such excellent countries as Georgia, Romania, Kazakhstan, South Korea, Best Korea, and France.
:(((
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:06, Reply)
I think that's brilliant.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:10, Reply)
Titgaz relay

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:59, Reply)
BRING ME THE SHED OF ALFREDO GARCIA
it's funny because they say it every week.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:03, Reply)
Internet Hardmanning
with various weight classes starting from heavyweight and going up.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:04, Reply)
Long distance pandering
endurance insulting
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:10, Reply)
Can we have a thread of song title puns or themes please?
I can't help with sports threads.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:16, Reply)
You should listen to Todays "New Elizabethan" on Radio 4, it was all about Bowie.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:20, Reply)
Oh man I really should! He's excellent.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:21, Reply)
I know how you like to get angry about things that really don't matter.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:28, Reply)
Nigga gotta have a hobby.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:29, Reply)
"gots ta", Shirley?

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:59, Reply)
There was an excellent interview of Mike Oldfield by Johnny Walker on Radio 2 yesterday.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:32, Reply)
He's an odd chap, is our Michael.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:37, Reply)
Which is what made it interesting.
Didn't realise Walker was still alive tbh.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:42, Reply)
i like his whiskey

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:53, Reply)
I like his condoms

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:57, Reply)
Oh god, I don't know...erm...
Discus?
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:21, Reply)
+s

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:24, Reply)
twtj

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:24, Reply)
Do you think the B3ta Womens Beach Volleyball
would be as nice to watch as the actual Womens Beach Volleyball?
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:28, Reply)
careful...
no
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:28, Reply)
I think I've seen that before
tinyurl.com/d82fzh8
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:30, Reply)
I'm watching the Brazil vs German game
Of course, they all have lovely bottoms.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:31, Reply)
Not too great in the tits dept, from what I saw at the weekend.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:32, Reply)
I'm an arse man all the way
Ladies arses of course I'm not a Quender
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:33, Reply)
Perhaps it's time
we worked out which sports have the hottest men. I'm pretty impressed with the gymnast guys and there is something about cyclists' legs...
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:36, Reply)
My mother in law thinks Tom Daley has a nice body
He looks about 12 making her a paedo even if he is over 16
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:37, Reply)
Yeah, he's 18 or something
but still, a bit on the young side
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:38, Reply)
Also
My wife thinks my legs are my best feature and that's down to all the cycling. Mind you, my face was never going to win
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:39, Reply)
Isn't your face any good at cycling?

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:50, Reply)
It can't reach the pedals.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:51, Reply)
(clicked)

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:39, Reply)
Stunned poster is, as we speak, at the Beach Volleyball.
It's
a) 'great' and
b) 'you can drink in the stands and everything'

So there you have it.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:35, Reply)
I'm thinking of going with the girl on friday.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:36, Reply)
RobinsonCrusoelolz

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:38, Reply)
I can drink wherever I like.
I have my rather generously sized flask in Glenlivet with me at most times. Made the Dark Knight Rises almost watchable
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:36, Reply)
didn't you like it mr PJ?

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:40, Reply)
It was retarded
You have a terrorist under the city with a fucking army. do you A. Send every cop in the city down there or B. Call in the fucking Army.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:42, Reply)
i'm gonna go with B.
is it B?
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:43, Reply)
ooh ooh, or C. Blow up the thing above the terrosists to kill them easily

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:43, Reply)
See if someone with your mental disability can see that then why couldn't they

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:45, Reply)
i have a mental disability? :(

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:45, Reply)

? :(
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:51, Reply)
that looks like some sort of secret facistic symbol type thing

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:53, Reply)
So, Barry Davies' job is fairly safe then?

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:37, Reply)
I'm not so sure...
Latest:

'Mmmm, girls with nice arses, lovely'
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:39, Reply)
The dirty old scrotter.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:41, Reply)
I have just sent him a text telling him not to get arrested or spunk in his pants. I'm not confident of his ability to adhere to this guidance.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:41, Reply)
ITS THE OFFTOPIC CRAZY GANG ON THEIR PHONES AGAIN

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:44, Reply)
You should share your number Rory.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:45, Reply)
yeah, Rory
put it here so we can all text bomb you and make you feel loved
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:46, Reply)
WE COULD ALL TEXT HIM OUR SECRETS!!!

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:47, Reply)
Unstoppable comedy - DAY OR NIGHT!!!

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:50, Reply)
ROFFLE PROOF PHONES ESSENTIAL

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:51, Reply)
Can't be any worse than this place at the moment.

(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:52, Reply)

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