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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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That threads taking ages to load on my phone.
I've been persuaded to go to Center Parcs in October with some friends.

I've never been, what can I expect. Looking at the website I can expect to be raped of all my money and then overrun with kids. Sounds Greattt.

Alt: Best UK holiday destinations?
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:18, 156 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Alt: Northumberland, Cornwall, Cumbria.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:19, Reply)
I went to Northumberland, it was really nice.
Went to Alnwick castle, great big castle... pretty good.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:21, Reply)
Bamburgh castle is pretty spectacular too.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:22, Reply)
Is that the one I went to in the rain? I get that and Dunstanborough mixed up still.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:30, Reply)
Bamburgh's the massive intact one sat on a fucking great rock.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:34, Reply)
Dunstanburgh
is the one I walked to then. Had the place entirely to ourselves because everyone else was too pussy to walk in the wind and rain.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:35, Reply)
I keep banging on about this,
but I went to Warkworth, near Alnwick in April for a week. Best place I've stayed in the UK. It's equal to Cumbria in terms of beauty but is far less overrun with tourists. As the guy who owned Chillingham Castle said when asked if he wantd to make Northumbria as popular as Combria or Yorkshire, 'As beloved, yes. As popular, No, please, never'.

So yeah, i'd agree with Northumbria and Cumbria.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:24, Reply)
You're a double linebreak prick

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:25, Reply)
Oh yeah, sorry.
Cor




rec




ted
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:27, Reply)
We stayed here. Fantastic place.
www.eshotthall.co.uk/
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:31, Reply)
Nice.
This is making me want to go back quite badly. It's fucking lovely up there.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:33, Reply)
I went to a wedding there.
Got utterly trousered on free champagne and smashed my nose on the way home.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:37, Reply)
Only place I have seen a red squirrel.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:39, Reply)
Northumberland has an extensive but threatened red population.
There's a huge grey culling operation going on, which I worked on the grant for.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:51, Reply)
And why your missus has such a lovely fur coat

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:53, Reply)
Northumberland, sometimes referred to as England's best kept secret.
This may explain why our economy's fucked, hardly anyone visits.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:32, Reply)
Best beaches I have been to in the UK are in Northumberland.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:33, Reply)
I'd have to agree. I'm only a ten minute drive away, too!

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:35, Reply)
Found a great pub in Seahouses that did the best chips ever, cooked in beef dripping.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:38, Reply)
Northumberland's got Newcastle in it, doesn't it?
That's why I avoid it.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:35, Reply)
Tyne and Wear has Newcastle in it
not Northumberland
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:40, Reply)
It's all the North to me, sporto
Frigid and grim.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:42, Reply)
Technically, no. Tyne & Wear is a seperate district.
And Newcastle's a nice city if you avoid the bigg market after 7pm.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:41, Reply)
You could have said it is in Lancashire
and I'd only be about 30% sure you were wrong.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:45, Reply)

Based on my limited experience, Newcastle is nicer than Durham precisely because you can at least get away from Bigg Market, whereas Durham is so small that come Friday and Saturday night, the drunken bareley dressed vomitting and fighting locals are unavoidable.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:45, Reply)
You have a point.
Durham is pretty, though.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:53, Reply)
Very, yes.
It was lovely during the day, just no good for a tee totaller in the evening.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:56, Reply)
Stay off the golf course, and you'll be just fine, old bean.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:01, Reply)
OMG!
I've just looked through my sent gaz box, and you know what I found?

I found a response to your message to me about New York. I responded 3 minutes after you sent your message saying, and I quote "Cool, thanks very much."

So, for past 10 months you have been slandering me as a rude person for no good reason at all.

I will await my apology.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:23, Reply)
Maybe it didn't send?
Also you're a linebreak prick
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:24, Reply)
It

Fucking



Did.








And Half







Life











2














Isn't as good as Portal.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:28, Reply)


(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:30, Reply)
That's okay. I forgive you.
Now lets move on.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:31, Reply)
Which one are you going to?
I went to the one in Elveden Forest with some friends a few years back, that was excellent.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:22, Reply)
I'm going to the Sherwood forrest one.
My plan is basically get loads of food and booze, drink and cook and maybe go on a few bike rides, and go for a swim.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:23, Reply)
That's pretty much exactly what we did, with a bit of badminton included in there.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:26, Reply)
I think the women will go to the spa at least one day and we'll go spend exactly the same amount of money in a pub.
Anything else worth doing?
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:33, Reply)
At the Sherwood forest one, I haven't the foggiest, I'm afraid
I'd recommend taking your own booze rather than drinking in the pubs, as the costs can be huge.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:40, Reply)
Oh man you can do crossbow shooting, I'm on that shit.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:41, Reply)

It's years since I went, but I assume they still have canoeing, golf, crazy golf, archery, horse riding, a snooker hall...um...memory failing me now...probably table tennis. Oh, and tennis, of course.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:42, Reply)
Center Parcs is OK actually.
You will get mugged unless you take absolutely everything you might need with you, but it's possible to escape from the kids and families by walking in the woods, or by fishing or bike riding. I'd prefer to go camping or stay in a B&B or cottage somewhere where you could also do those things, but CP is better than any other sort of holiday park at least.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:27, Reply)
Child Porn?
You sick fuck.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:27, Reply)
Ha.
Took me a while to figure out what the fuck you were on about, mind.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:28, Reply)
Yeah disposable BBQ's are like a tenner.
Not that I think we'll have many of them in October.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:30, Reply)
Alt: Cornwall, Tenby (SW Wales)
Dorset is lovely but expensive and it takes ages to go anywhere as the roads aren't great.
Edinburgh is also nice, and Devon.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:27, Reply)
If you think the roads in Devon are shit
I would point you at West Wales. It took me four hours to get from Guildford to Cardiff and then a further four hours to get from Cardiff to Aberwystwyth.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:30, Reply)
They weren't roads, you were driving on rarebit.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:42, Reply)
Something about a croque monsieur

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:49, Reply)
Same problem in both
no motorway or dual carriageway, so a tractor. r a tin tent in the way and you're fucked.
Mind you the A483 from Chester to Tenby was a nice drive, popular with bikers too.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:45, Reply)
Best road I've ever driven on was the A road between
Windermere and Penrith. Great road, fantastic scenery and pretty quiet as most people get on the motorway.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:46, Reply)
FAVOURITE ROADS SUBTHREAD!!!!!!

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:48, Reply)
Trust you to take issue with it.
I suppose you don't have a favourite road because you drive some dreary electric hybrid to go along with the rest of your pasty, militantly feminist, soya cud-chewing, lesbian vegetarian lifestyle, you fucking tree-hugging hippie?
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:51, Reply)
My favourite roads
Are the ones that my sisters and I stopped 'the man' from building, preventing the rape of our beautiful countryside by tying ourselves (with hemp ropes, naturally) to our friends the trees.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:12, Reply)
I heard on the wire newport pagnell services northbound have dyson airblades now

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:31, Reply)
They're overrated.
Still need to put your hands through twice 6/10
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:34, Reply)
well, go and stick your face in one twice you massive wet faced prick

god
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:39, Reply)
Seems like a proportionate response.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:43, Reply)
I just wish people wouldn't always be so down on dyson all the time

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:44, Reply)
Scottish Highlands were good.
Definitely suggest this.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:32, Reply)
Depends what you enjoy doing
Loads of sporty activities and some really nice woodland walks / cycle trails, also the pool is excellent. Nice place to chill out with a few beers of an evening too
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:37, Reply)
I've just had a look at sailing
You can't just hire a boat by the looks of it, I went sailing all the time as a kid I don't need no tuition.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:39, Reply)
I watched some sailing in teh Olympics, I don't need tuition either.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:45, Reply)
Center Parcs is great
I've been the the Penrith one about 5 times now.

The restaurants are OK and not too pricy but the fact that you have your own lodge and could cook/go out is cool
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:43, Reply)
What will the kitchens be like?
Easy enough to make a fry up for 6 or will it be a mission?
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:44, Reply)
No, it should be fine
The are 4 burners and a grill and oven. You might need to take a few frying pans though
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:28, Reply)
If I tell you that
There's a chance you might get there before me and steal my holiday from under my nose. My children will be disappointed, my wife will be mad, and I'll be cross that the journey was wasted. Jesus, why can't you just leave us alone, Chomp? What have we ever done to you?
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:45, Reply)
You took one of his hats.
A man isn't likely to forget something like that in a hurry.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:47, Reply)
That was never proven
The hat was mine to begin with. I don't have to answer to idle, scurrilous rumour.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:49, Reply)
And when you accuse me of stealing your holiday I'd punch a wall or sometihng?

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:49, Reply)
I'm not at liberty to comment on that

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:49, Reply)
Are you in jail?

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:53, Reply)
Do they haev wi-fi in prison?

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 14:54, Reply)
It's a good life really
Three squares a day, comfy beds, Sky tv and wifi in every room...don't let them fool you, crime ALWAYS pays.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:00, Reply)
Also my girlfriend can't ride a bike so I'm tempted to try to teach her.
While lolling hard.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:08, Reply)
Tell her it's just like riding a bike.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:09, Reply)
I taught a friend of mine to ride a bike
It was really good fun.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:11, Reply)
In a "aww awesome I'm helping" way.
or in a "ha ha, you're such a useless spastic" way?
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:12, Reply)
In an awesome way.
It was in Adelaide by the river, we spent a couple of hours doing it and then went and had ice cream and then got drunk.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:18, Reply)
Awww, that sounds like an episode of Dawsons Creek.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:19, Reply)
It was a bit idylic.
Adelaide is a nice place, a bit dull to live I would think, but nice.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:20, Reply)
something about your girlfriend being a bike
Dunno, maybe her nickname is raleigh or chopper or something
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:13, Reply)
You're just not putting the effort in anymore.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:14, Reply)
try "Wouldn't want your mates to see you riding either of them"?

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:24, Reply)
she's a right muddy fox

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:30, Reply)
She can't ride a bike?
How did that happen? Unless she's only 4...in which case I'd keep that to yourself
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:24, Reply)
She has seven brothers. The parents didn't want to buy 8 bikes so no one got them.
Or something like that.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:35, Reply)
her mum must be a right slag
I guess it runs in the family

Xxx
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:46, Reply)
hey guys just wanted to swing by and check on the lol
You're all doing a great job without me, keep up the good work and don't forget top bully people with dead mums xx
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:12, Reply)
How's things with the new buyers Quintz?

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:12, Reply)
shut it you fucken dozy prick
Xxxxx
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:14, Reply)
Have they not sacked you yet then?

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:15, Reply)
I guess I could be sacked from my consultancy position
But doing that would kind of ruin the 6 month handover of the business, so I doubt they'd do that

Erm, yeah
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:28, Reply)
Hey Quince
Y'alright love?
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:24, Reply)
yes thanks hattie-douie
Yourself?
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:31, Reply)
Yeah, alright
Got a week off coming up soon, so all's well. An impending holiday always makes work go a little smoother.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:32, Reply)
yeah I've been off nearly two weeks and go back a week tomorrow
It's been laaaaarvaly
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:35, Reply)
Nice
The weather's been good to you
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:46, Reply)
I just accidentally squashed my bollocks.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:19, Reply)
Sporto you monster
www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/irishsun/irishsunnews/4328900/Crazed-cow-kills-OAP-shielding-son.html
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:20, Reply)
What a cunt, I hope sportscow gets BSE

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:24, Reply)
Maybe he was just protecting his calves?

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:27, Reply)
What do his legs have to do with all this?

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:28, Reply)
Don't fuck with sportscow

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:28, Reply)
Will all you fuckers stop coming to Cornwall without getting my permission first
Get orf moi laaaaand etc.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:28, Reply)
Funnily enough, no one has recommended Cornwall.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:37, Reply)
cornwall is ace in parts, as is all of the west country
Worst destination is south wales
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:56, Reply)
Spanner
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1703533

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1703547
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:48, Reply)
When I was a kid it was all about Portmadog
there was a beach and chip shops, trains and walks to go and look at historically significant stones.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:36, Reply)
clearly the correct answer is Val d'Isere
Wow, blackberrys are shit at browsing
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:54, Reply)
I'm there in March, I better not see any of you losers there

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:55, Reply)
Unlikely
I normally go to my parents place.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:57, Reply)
best march EVER

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:59, Reply)
Cool, another accidental b4sh averted

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:59, Reply)
that's ok I'm off to Meribel for New Year \o/
I used to work in the Moris many many moons ago
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:58, Reply)
What does this have to do with you starting a new thread?

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 15:59, Reply)
I was thinking Val this year
but you'll be safe, I tend to go in January.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:03, Reply)
I wish I could afford a skiing holiday.
I need a new job.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:04, Reply)
they're getting cheaper
but it's still hard to see any change from a grand for a week in a decent place.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:05, Reply)
and the rest

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:06, Reply)
yeah, depends
got a 5* chalet in Nendaz last year for £500 including flights (last-minute), £250 for a 4 valleys pass, £200 for booze and lunches and £50 for the robbing shites to ship my skis.

but admittedly that was a better than average bargain year.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:08, Reply)
mines 1300 including pass (and maybe ski's dunno)
BUT THERES LUNCH ON THE SLOPES MAN
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:10, Reply)
If that's for Val next year
that's a decent deal if it's a good chalet. I only got away with ones like that above because I tend to choose a week to go but only actually book the holiday in the two weeks beforehand. Doesn't work with massive groups, but currently all but 4 or 5 of the people I ski with are incapacitated by children so it's OK.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:12, Reply)
That's a great idea,
but shit in practice especially if it's something hot because two minutes into eating it, it's ice cold.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:12, Reply)
I think it's lunch on a pass system from slope cafes/ restaurants/ bars

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:14, Reply)
I'd have to buy/rent gear as well, as all my skiing stuff is fucked.
Except my jacket I think.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:10, Reply)
rented boots are a waste of time, so there's £500 already

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:11, Reply)
Mine were in the attic of the place I got evicted from.
Not getting those back.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:12, Reply)
I'd perservered with rented boots for a few times, but they fucked my legs up something chronic with gashes and bleeding and shit, so I bit the bullett last time and bought some nordics

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:16, Reply)
I spunked £300 on some Nordica Ace of Spades last time out.
Actually, sad times, I threw a fairly servicable pair of XWave 8s out when I got the Nordicas, Chompy could have had them :(
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:40, Reply)
I have negative that in my bank account.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:09, Reply)
at some point in most months so do I
but then I've had a free £1500 overdraft for nearly 20 years now, might as well use it.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:09, Reply)
you don't know how much this means to me badger

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:05, Reply)
Oh, I can take a good solid punt, Rory old chap.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:06, Reply)
Hey, we could all arrange to go at different times
and totally not meet up.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:06, Reply)
this is my favourite b4sh strategy

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:07, Reply)
best of all the bashes

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:08, Reply)
you need to wait until september when
there are more ripe fruits
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:00, Reply)
News just in:
Spiced apple chutney smells better than natural dyeing experiments
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:01, Reply)
Exactly how many boys has it brought to your "yard" so far, cavy?

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:04, Reply)
Bear in mind that it is almost rush hour.
They are likely to get delayed a little.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:05, Reply)
none as yet
I've left the door open just in case
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:08, Reply)
Oh, that's what that whistling noise is.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:17, Reply)
?
Have I just been insulted? I shall be offended, just in case
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:22, Reply)
Does natural dyeing experiments mean:
boiling up your own piss?
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:05, Reply)
no
I went for the buying alum powder and whatever the other thing is. The book I've got tells you how you can do it with piss, but I just don't fancy it somehow
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:09, Reply)
Strangely useful substance human piss.
They used to collect it for industry all over the country.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:11, Reply)
This is not enough justification for you keeping jars of it in your kitchen cupboards.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:12, Reply)
THATS HOMEBREW!

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:13, Reply)
THAT'S WHAT HE SAID

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:23, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urine#Other_uses
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:16, Reply)
From that link.
What a genius idea phys.org/news165836803.html
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:21, Reply)
that is genius
better even than Mr Fusion
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:21, Reply)
Have you read HYDRODRIVEs comment?
I smell nutter.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:29, Reply)
I have started a new thread. Have a look. You might like it. You probably won't.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 16:30, Reply)
The Gower.

(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 20:36, Reply)

ower urnos
(, Tue 14 Aug 2012, 20:36, Reply)

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