That was shit
Bank holiday weekend plans? It looks like it will piss it down, shame really, but i'm in the South of France so don't give a shit.

alt: what country would you like to live in?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:29, 110 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Camping on the south Coast
Alt: Either here or New Zealand, I'd say.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:30, Reply)

It's not a bank holiday here, stupid country
ALT: International Waters
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:31, Reply)

how international would you go?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:43, Reply)

As far away from land as possible
Then I'd set up a smuggling ring
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:44, Reply)

Isn't that in the pacific where there's a whole bunch of plastic floating around?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:46, Reply)

Apparently it's not like a giant raft it's just like plastic soup
I was disappointed I couldn't form my own island nation, Plastonia
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:47, Reply)

you could arrange it so all the netting and plastic beer six pack holders are arranged at the bottom

then travel the globe under the power of the dolphins and fish that become ensnared
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:49, Reply)

That'd work until they all tried to jump through a hoop
I'd get stuck and then the other marine nations would laugh at me :(
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:54, Reply)

oh aaaaaape
it took me ages to type that.

why don't you stick my questions in yours and then i can delete?

FINE I'LL DO IT MYSELF

someone on fb linked to the letters published by the family of the 19 year old soldier who was killed in afghanistan
the "mum you'll find this hard to read" letters. it struck me how much he swore in them. do you swear in front of your parents?

alt: how body conscious are you? are you a free spirited nudey or a prudey who locks the bathroom door even when you're home alone?

altalt: what's for lunch?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:32, Reply)

Oh you cow, I'd just written out a huge post for your thread.
I hate you.
( Kroney, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:38, Reply)

well re-type it!
anyway it serves you right for frolicking in shit-dull threads without me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:39, Reply)

I'd just answered this, you slag.
I only tend to say 'bugger' in front of them.

I wander round naked fairly often, couldn't give a shit. Am about to get the top floor to myself again, so that means I can start wandering naked into the bathroom again.

No idea yet, will have to see.

Also, saw this, and thought of you.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:40, Reply)

is it a rabbit with gore dripping from its chops?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:49, Reply)

Nope, no rabbit on there at all

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:49, Reply)

that's even worse
you suck
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:52, Reply)

No, you suck.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:53, Reply)

kroney's image "full arse in the moonlight walks"
has put me off anything of the sort forEVER
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:58, Reply)

so do these alts count as alts?
I think you should have to redo your alts as altalt and altaltalt. maybe your whole post would be altalt, then the alts altaltalt and altaltaltalt

why don't offtopic just put all the day's topics in one post as increasing alt levels, save on all this posting new threads
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:41, Reply)

I dunno how they keep up with the threads man
I'll be in a thread answering away and wondering why no-one is saying antything, turns out they've gone and made fifteen others on top and they've all migrated off
This place is weird, and they keep trying to touch my bum
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:42, Reply)

this is why the internets made tabbed browsers

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:50, Reply)

But I've already got two b3ta tabs
I don't want my entire browser taken over by b3ta
Why are you trying to infect my entire browser?
More bullying :(
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:54, Reply)

because we are lazy lazy people

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:51, Reply)

I don't swear in front of my parents, they're dead.
Alt: I like nudity when home alone, not so much when out shopping.

altalt: unch will be a wrap filled with a miture of cottage cheese & tuna, seasoned with loads of black pepper & shredded chilli. served with a green salad.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:42, Reply)

I'd never swear in front of my parents, that sounds like a horrible thing to do, why are you trying to make me swear at my parents? I don't understand this hostility
I'm rarely naked, why would I be naked? Who's trying to snap pictures of me through the window? Bugger off, nosy
I dunno what's for lunch, it's only 11:45, god can't I have a moment's peace?
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:46, Reply)

i feel so misunderstood

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:49, Reply)

I don't understand why you're bullying me :(

( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:53, Reply)

well, the truth is that i took a great exception to you
and sat up all night crafting my cunning list of alts in the hope that you would be here to get all offended by them.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:57, Reply)

I'm putting you on super ignore
In fact you're all going on super ignore
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:57, Reply)

that sounds like the only way to make it even more dull than it already is

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:59, Reply)

Everyone will end up with their own /qotw
unable to see or interact with anyone else's
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:00, Reply)

much in the way that the babbling gang of autists
fails to hear anyone else anyway
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:06, Reply)

aw I dunno who they are
who do we hate here?
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:07, Reply)

the judean people's front

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:08, Reply)

alt: my flat has been baking with the current weather
so I'm quite happy to wander around in as little as possible. Blinds are down, offices opposite so there's usually no-one watching.

Just have to remember to put something on when the pizza delivery turns up.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:50, Reply)

the clue is in the word "usually"

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:51, Reply)

Their gain if so
I lack much in the way of modesty.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:59, Reply)

when i lived in my old houseshare, the blind in the bathroom wasn't up to much
family came round. younger brother comes into the lounge and announces proudly, in the way that only brothers can, that i "might want to avoid the bathroom for a bit". fucking dirty animal. older brother said, "weren't you worried that the people opposite could see you wiping your arse?"

younger brother shrugs and says calmly, "worse for them, innit."

you remind me of him. you fucking dirty animal.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:08, Reply)

Ugh. Screw the North.
We ought to build a wall.
( Kroney, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:11, Reply)

FINE
I swear in front of my mum all the time because she's a prick.

I am prudish in front of people I haven't slept with. After that I figure "what's the point?" and it's full-on naked arse in the moonlight walks from there on out. On my own I am rarely fully dressed.
( Kroney, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:55, Reply)

"arse in the moonlight walks"?
remind me to avoid slough at the full moon.

well actually nobody needs reminding to avoid slough fullstop. but, you know.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:57, Reply)

yeah, strutting around with the silvery moonlight reflecting off
the dense thicket of my arse hair. You'd fucking love it.
( Kroney, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:02, Reply)

but it means i'd have to sleep with you first
sooooo no thanks.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:05, Reply)

I know, the queue's fucking huge.
I don't blame you for not wanting to wait that long.
( Kroney, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:08, Reply)

yes
who wouldn't want to run their fingers through an achingly beautiful forest of anal beard?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:08, Reply)

I bet you're imagining it even now
you trollop.
( Kroney, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:10, Reply)

sadly for everyone
i bet they all are

still, it should cut the lunch discussions down in their prime
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:10, Reply)

I hope nobody's got BUNS
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

ha
( Kroney, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:12, Reply)

Pretty much I dental here.
When I had flat mates I couldn't wonder around in just my pants so I am making up for that now.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:16, Reply)

I swear like a fucking trooper in front of my parents. But not in front of my daughter.
Alt: not one bit. When you're as handsome as I am, that would be a bit weird.

Altalt: Pea and ham soup, some cheese and a baguette. It was fucking rubbish.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:20, Reply)

I've got two tubes of pringles, fresh bread, bacon, frozen pizzas
jaffa cakes, oranges, fags, a crate of bought beer and a couple of crates of homebrew.
I'm going to spend the whole time playing guildwars 2 from 8am sat until 2am monday. (except for going for lunch on Saturday, and getting some bottlecaps and then bottling some beer)
(PsychoChomp, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:33, Reply)

*shakes head sadly*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:49, Reply)

So far, the plan is - there is no plan!
Sorting details for a funeral & getting drunk are two things which are on the agenda. Steak could very well be involved, as could playing guitar.Anything else is fluid.

Alt: Thailand, with the proviso that I'd be earning a European wage.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:36, Reply)

I've got some steak in the freezer, but I might just bin it
It's 2 nice rump steaks, and a couple of ribeyes as well, but they're all pepper crusted, which I've discovered I'm not a fan of.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:42, Reply)

Why don't you bury them, to fit into CP's other weekend plans.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:44, Reply)

Scrape off the pepper crust
marinade in red wine & a good oil (peanut/groundnut as it takes heat better) & griddle them, turning every 30 seconds to get a good crust. Leave to rest wrapped in foil for at least as long as you cooked them & serve with whatever you fancy.
I'm not much of a fan of pepper-crusted steaks either.

EDIT: There's no burying, he's being cremated. Unlike the steak, which will be cooked so rare as to be on the endagered list.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:48, Reply)

every 15 seconds

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:50, Reply)

My mistake!
Every 15 seconds is correct according to Heston Blimmin'eck.
My apologies.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:53, Reply)

HAHA, YOU MISS OUT ON MY BIN NEWS
YOU PRICK
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:58, Reply)

I tend to prefer mine pure as possible
Take out of fridge half an hour before cooking, rub salt, pepper, rosemary and a little oil in, heat pan to ridiculous temperature, minute each side to seal, add knob of butter, chopped onions and mushrooms, cook steak for another minute each side, wrap in foil, leave to rest for as long as I've cooked it, whilst adding a little pepper and lea & perrins into the pan, over the mushrooms, serve that over the top of the steak.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:52, Reply)

so many of the boys on here are into cooking
and by "boys" i mean hairy-backed marys, naturally.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:55, Reply)

Cooking is easy
How hard can it be? Even women and the French can do it!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:57, Reply)

If you ate real food, you'd be impressed by this
But you're just a tree hugger.

I've cooked some excellent vegetarian food before, but it'll never be as good as a nice fat steak, medium done.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:59, Reply)

i would never hug a tree
i might get lichen on my prada
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:00, Reply)

I like my vanilla icecream as pure as possible
I just scoop it out into a bowl, then sprinkle on some hundreds and thousands, a couple of streaks of raspberry sauce and some flakes carved to look like princess diana
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:01, Reply)

Awesome.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:01, Reply)

I want to apply for a visa but I can't find a narnian embassy anywere :(

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:39, Reply)

Ask Darth, he's far enough in the closet to know the way.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:42, Reply)

try the bedroom department at john lewis

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:47, Reply)

or bed, bath and BEYOND

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:52, Reply)

this is better
damn you and all your fisting kind
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:55, Reply)

your mum, i hear she's a right CUNTry

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:45, Reply)

Alt, Morocco.
If I had unlimited cash, cos the economy is shit there. i'm still planning on starting my own country though, Pookie Wank Bank is a working title.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:49, Reply)

I'm hungry
your all pricks
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:51, Reply)

Morning Q

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:52, Reply)

i've got a new bin, AA
how's them crackers?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:52, Reply)

You're just too hardcore for me, Q
Don't know how you do it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:54, Reply)

matching mini bin in the bathroom too, AA
get me
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:56, Reply)

did you get your sig from that dog shame website i linked to yesterday?
that was my favourite one too. that and the one that just ended in "because i'm a bastard".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:55, Reply)

i saw it on links before you posted it
but yeah it was well gud
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:55, Reply)

What's dog shame?
I can't be arsed to look back over the last day's shenannigans.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:57, Reply)

just google it
and the website will come up. it's great.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:59, Reply)

I'm going to spend it laughing and pointing at all the people who defend Lance Armstrong.

Co-incidentally, if I could live anywhere else it would be New York, which would make all that laughing and pointing so much more satisfying.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:57, Reply)

I'm having an excellent discussion with Enzyme on facebook about whether or not all doping should be allowed.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:58, Reply)

course it should
and cybernetic enhancement, that'd liven things up
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:59, Reply)

And guns
Sprinters with guns would be fucking ace, do you run a bit slower so your aim is steadier, or as fast as you can in the hope that no-one will hit you.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:00, Reply)

He was on the news last night
Was rather bizarre seeing him as an expert, when I've seen him drunk.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:00, Reply)

what news?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:01, Reply)

North West Tonight

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:01, Reply)

must be foreign

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:02, Reply)

The main headlines were about roll-mops and the price of whippet coats

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:22, Reply)

I just saw a tiny bit of that and thought I'd read it later.
It's quite impressive how you got him talking about how incest is OK again.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:04, Reply)

incest is ok again?
(unzips)
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:06, Reply)

Now now Scarpe, I'm not the sort of person who remembers things for a long time and brings them up in current arguments in an attempt to discredit to person I'm talking to.
You pisshead.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:06, Reply)

do i need to check fb?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:09, Reply)

Only if it's to post a photo of your tits.
*pandertrons*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:12, Reply)

Do you think he's guilty? what about all the tests that he passed?
i really know very little about him
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:06, Reply)

hey
what happened to you? lucky for you that i came along and SAVED YOUR THREAD from mediocrity and tumbleweeds
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:09, Reply)

Saved?
Or exhumed? I'm looking at people with rucksacks. They must be these "holidaymakers" that we're told about.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:14, Reply)

I had to return some videotapes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:14, Reply)

I'm not as well read about this as many, but yes, I suspect he is guilty. There are masking agents that can be used and ways to cheat drug tests, there are witnesses and people involved who clain to have seen him (although i don't know their motives, i admit), I don't believe the governing body would be going after him this this hard if they weren't certain - they have more to lose than to gain out of this it seems, and now, today, i'm certain that no body would risk being stripped of 7 Tour De France victories if they didn't know they'd finally been rumbled. This way he gets to keep denying it and claiming it's unproven.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:19, Reply)

I want my cancer money back, he probably spent it on drugs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:21, Reply)

I think he's allowed to take cancer drugs...

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:23, Reply)

NO HE@S NOT

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:24, Reply)

i recently returned a pair of sunnies to a website and bought a different pair
They have sent both back to me. Do i a fess up as i haven't recieved a refund anyway, or b, wait and see if a refund is forthcoming and keep them for free?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:14, Reply)

Treat them as an 'unsolicited gift'
Inform the site of their mistake and give them 28 days to either pick them up or provide means of delivering them back -at THEIR cost - or you will consider them an unsolicited gift.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:19, Reply)

i gave your mum's face an unsolicated gift last night

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:20, Reply)

Damn you're good!
Cosidering she's been dead for 16 years and was cremated.
I take my hat off to you.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:22, Reply)

Wow, from you this kind of response was totally unexpected.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:27, Reply)

I don't think i can rape a pair of sunglasses

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:28, Reply)

Sure you can!
It's not like they can give consent, is it.
And I bet they were made in asia, you know what sluts they are.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:44, Reply)