Rachelswipe

NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When will you learn?

Never look back, Never say you are sorry, Never have a 'for olds time sake' shag. Never regret - time is too short!!!!!!!

Never regret the girth.

Always
(Suck it and Sea, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 16:51, Reply)

Sarah
(too).
( Micro Prawnvica, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 16:48, Reply)

She'd just broken up with my best mate...
and I'd fancied her for ages. We'd done some mildly scary flirting while they were still together.

One lovely summer's evening we found ourselves alone in a field with a picnic. There was wine, sarnies, wine, conversation, wine, scotch eggs, a bit more wine, etc. until everything seemed to be heading towards a deeply satisfying (for me) shag.

There was a great deal of advanced snogging, hands going everywhere, clothes being discarded, moistness, hardness, and suddenly...

a horse in the next field farted VERY LOUDLY. We both laughed so much for so long that the moment passed.

Two days later she was back with my idiot of a best mate with a (reasonably) clear conscience.

Never got anywhere near her again. But I did see her lady-parts.
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 16:43, Reply)

6
Partners in 34 years.

I could cry. I do. Now I'm bald and fat.
(frankspencer, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 16:38, Reply)

Friends
12 years old. New to seconary school. Having a hard time fitting in. My social group still undefined, my time shared between different semi-popular people who I now realise are losers of the highest order.

Then I met a girl who wasn't repulsed by me. Unfortunately, she was unpopular. And crazy, not that I noticed that when I made the choice to abandon the popular types.

If I hadn't made friends with her, I wouldn't have fallen in love with her best friend and pissed 6 good years up the wall chasing her. Christ knows how different everything would have played out.

On a related note, I regret telling said friend I was in love with her. In retrospect, if I hadn't done that, I wouldn't have scared her off, and would probably have ended up boffing her and not developing the plethora of confidence problems that I now have.

Also, not revising for my AS levels. Ugh.
(bad1dea, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 16:35, Reply)

Damn!
I regret to say that I haven't got time today to do give this subject my full attention.

Here's a teaser for tomorrow:
1)Missing out on losing my cherry TWO WHOLE YEARS before I finally did.
2)An incident in Nice
3)Fudging up my life for a decade
4)Well, I'll think of something

A bientot,
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 16:31, Reply)

Clearly unexpected.
The sheer volume of men having turned down sex is staggering.

And women think we only have one thing in mind.

I do regret not having filed down my first ever GF's teeth as "putting on the happy face" as she shredded my teen-manhood with s&m rated too-much-tooth oral sex still makes me wince.

I could have shown her the way gently, but it was very difficult in a squeaky cabin bed with parents in the room below.

I decided to play "keep the penis down", and she thought i was freaky. Truth is, she was scary and painful and i was looking after my longterm interests.

needless to say, i got the shit for this as being a true gent i wasn't prepared to tell the world of her oral issues. Oral sex is not about physically consuming it in small chunks over a number of days.

Well not for me anyway.
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Thu 5 Oct 2006, 16:28, Reply)

Greatest regret has to be
Not hitting the ignore button sooner.....

Micejay is a complete twunt!!

No apologoes for length!!
(jidler changed his name on, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 16:26, Reply)

1st year at Uni
I was always trying to be the gentleman and not take advantage of girls. This led to me being a bit of a late starter with ladies and some people decided I was gay because I had refused a few girls "on principle". Anyway one girl, who was a bit of a rock chick but so very very fine was Melanie. We were out with the guys in our year one night, we got pissed, she wanted to go and I offered to walk her being a rugby bloke and not scared of chavs. Oh and a chivalrous twat. We got to the steps and she asked me inside for a coffee... I said no. WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT. I really fancied her and in the bar she was sitting almost on my lap, with her hand on my knee and I was as randy as hell. What a fool. I tried asking her out the following week and she had already been asked out by another guy in my year and said yes to him.

Very shortly after that I learned the valuable lesson about being a bit more aware of what women were *actually* saying (subtlty was never my strong point), and never passing up an opportunity. So followed a six-month purple patch of what seemed like constant shagging of random burds picked up in nightclubs. So in a way, I had a regret that turned into something I clearly don't regret! So not sure how to finish this one off...

_FUCKSOCKS!!!
( Normanator Bad case of trapped wind since, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 16:16, Reply)

Fit, blonde ex-colleague
I worked in a chain bar in Oldham a few years ago. To my delight, one of my incredibly attractive female colleagues took a bit of a shine to me. Only I didn't realise.

Fast forward a few months and I'm working in a different bar. She comes in one night and demands I take her back to my place, so I oblige and boff her brains out. We're talking woman of my dreams shiz here.

What happens next? Does a wonderful, loving relationship blossom? Or even a downright dirty, no-strings one? No. I, rather foolishly in retrospect, decide to ignore all her calls and texts.

To this day I have no idea why.

Thankfully, the current Mrs. Zorrro is now the woman of my dreams. Every cloud, eh?

Am I supposed to put one of those length/girth jokes now? I assume she liked both considering she pestered me.
(Zorrro, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 16:14, Reply)

Well, the obvious one for me is
Not asking out a certain girl from uni earlier than I did. We became good friends but I fancied her for aaaaages and still do. And that previous sentence is the understatement of the century.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Thu 5 Oct 2006, 16:14, Reply)

Sarah
.
( The Lurker Plenty One, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 16:10, Reply)

Bloody waste of time and money
Uni....pointless degree, could have got into my choosen career several years earlier, and avoided the still looming, several thousand pounds worth of debt. Still, wasn't all bad. In fact, it was pretty great. Mainly just regret the stupid spending.
Oh, and the necessary other-half tale. Had the chance to sleep with an absolutely stunning young lady, didn't because I had been going out with some one for a few years........only to split up with her a week later as I found out she'd just cheated on me. Arse nuggets.
Not too many regrets, things I've done, or haven't, that I think 'should/shouldn't have done that' usually led to some thing good in the end.
If you're optimistic enough you can always find the link, and I still think I'm going to win the lottery so.....
(badfiremonkey, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 16:05, Reply)

Je ne regrette de rien? Bollocks.
1) A party in which I earnt myself an infamous name which will immediately identify me to anyone that reads this post, so we'll leave that unknown. I was blind drunk & repeatedly swore/screeched at a boy who was nothing but nasty to me throughout sixth form - 'cunt,' I believe was my word of choice. It was certainly an eye opener for the host's gentle & borderline middle class family.

2) Months later, getting stoned & sleeping with the 'cunt.' Urgh. Not only was it the worst night of my life I couldn't look his girlf in the eye for weeks; she was in my class.

3) Not revising history for my Cambridge interview to read English & thus getting rejected. Later, not revising Vietnam for history & getting a C instead of the A I would've got with even minimal application.

4)Writing an application for me & my lazy ass reluctant friend to go to art college. Guess who got in? I'll give you a clue - it wasnt me.

5)Wasting the last year of my college education sulking over Cambridge/art college. I had so much potential & pissed it all away.

And this isnt even the tip of the iceberg.
(godbox 3rd best prostitute in London, after mum & sis, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 16:01, Reply)

Regrets....
... I really should have pulled out sooner. The baby's only 6 months old and she costs me a fortune already!
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 16:01, Reply)

Silly Billy
I was working at a pub when I was about 22 years old. This woman (she was a fit 35 year old) came in at the beginning of the day and started chatting me up. I was a little naive but eventually got the point. I was to finish my shift at 3pm and head straight round to her place (the address of which she'd written down for me) for some 'fun'. 3pm came so I thought i'd get some dutch courage so quickly drank a double whisky and coke and two pints. This wasn't enough though, so i went up to my room above the pub, smoked 2-3 bongs and pretty much passed out. When I came to it was about 4:30 (still time to get to the milfs house!) but realised that I had no idea where i'd put her address. It never turned up and as a result i've been cursed to imagine just what that filthy woman would have been like in thre sack. Saw her a couple of days afterwards in the high street and got a look that could've make milk turn. Harumph.
( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 15:49, Reply)

Regrets? I've had a few....
1. Treating the last girl I went out with like shit...

2. Buying a certain Green Rover 420 because "it was fast" - It was shit too.

3. Not punching more people in my life... I'm now too scared to get into a fight because I dont know what I'm capable of.

4. Doing all the drugs I did at Uni... They messed up my head seriously.

5. Not screwing the secretary who came on to me when i worked at my last company.

6. Not dumping my first girlfriend sooner, instead of chasing her for the next 6 months like a lost sheep

7. Going to University. Biggest waste of time and effort.

8. Buying the Wendy & Lisa album.
(LunarJim, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 15:35, Reply)

they say it's better

to regret something you've done than to regret something you haven't.

Still wish I hadn't killed them kids though.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 15:35, Reply)

every time I get horny

(when I'm single and at home), I download porn. And each time I tell myself I'll make a porn folder and keep the best ones on my computer. So I start downloading a few different ones. Then when the first one's downloaded I have a wank and immediately go 'oh, porn's a bit gross', and delete everything (including going into the recycle bin and deleting it from there). Then I regret that.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 15:32, Reply)

But then again... Too few to mention
1 : Not packing in my first job (after a month) and taking up the offer to crew a boat from the west coast of Scotland across the Atlantic, through the Panama Canal and up the west coast of North America to Vancouver (all expenses paid).

2 : Not taking up the offers of several young ladies because I thought my marriage would improve and subsequently enduring 20 years of complete crap when I could have realised earlier that the relationship was already dead.

Sympathy not wanted/required.
(bof, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 15:25, Reply)

Blowing out the beautiful love of my life..
to inject Thorazine into the vein under my cock instead.

What a cunt.
(Fonkadelix is fucking bored, pass the crack pipe Mavis., Thu 5 Oct 2006, 15:23, Reply)

So many in my life, it's hard to remember them all
Ok, trying to do them all in chronological order

1. Why did I eat so much as a child, my life would have been so different

2. Why did I lend my friend my copy of Cool Spot on the SEGA Megadrive, he only sold it :(

3. Why did I drive into that corner so fast on an icy road?

4.The girl from work who's name I can't remember, but was gorgeous, totally into me and if I'd had the guts and kissed her on the waterfall steps in Bristol docks, it would have soooo romantic, but I didnt as I was supposedly seeing someone else, well the girl left work the next week and I spent the next 18months in a horrible relationship.

4. Why did I get out of bed this morning?
(Laxly, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 15:18, Reply)

twas only a few weeks ago
I will set the scene, had been at work since 7am on a friday, got home at 5 and went straight out for a night in london "super" club Fabric. Many drinks, pills and spliffs were consumed to some rather hectic dnb. saturday morning roles round and I just wanna get home and try to get some sleep having been up for 24 hours and being a little worse for wear. Chilling outside farringdon tube station with some chums. A couple of nice looking girls sit down next to me on the step as my mate beckons me round the corner for a final joint to make the journey home a little more bearable. Minutes later spliff in hand and said ladies walk past and hop in a cab.

At this point I should point out that one was stunning, everything any right minded 23 year old straight guy would give there left arm for. I mean slim, lovely dark brown hair, great tits, pretty face the complete package. The other was similar looking maybe not quite up to the high standard her mate had set. The only problem that from the clothes the girls were wearing you could tell there was an element of chav about them. Maybe not complete lost causes but enough to question where they had been. i digress.. ah yes right.

As many male b3tans will confirm a night on the little fellas will turned the old chap into, well a very little fella whose performance would be limited at best. Taxi starts to pull away, stops and door opens, the fit one leans out and shouts to me "my mate and I think you're really fit do u wanna come back with us?".
I look up from by drug induced haze and smooth as u like say "nah you're alright ta".
what a numpty. Fitty looks a bit miffed/confused slams the door and taxi drives off. Cue everybody present, including randoms trying to get cabs, laughing their asses off whilst questioning my sanity/sexuality. My justification of lots of pills = small penis syndrom fell on deaf ears, cant see why.

I was kicking myself for weeks and am, justifyably, repeatedly ripped about it by people who wernt even there. Until a mate pointed out they probably wanted me to pay for their taxi home or were going to rob me blind and boot me out at the first set of lights. Sadly I dont think this was the case and I turned down the best opportunity I am ever likely to have for an epic threesome with two attractive nubile females. shit.

no apologies its massive deal with it (its just a shame it wasnt that morning)
(L0p3z, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 15:08, Reply)

I regret nothing
Except the Star Trek obsessed, fat, ginger, clingy maniac I lost the V to and ended up with for over a year. So much potential in college, and I picked that one because she fancied me (in a stalkerish kind of way).

Thank fuck for Uni, that's all I can say....
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Thu 5 Oct 2006, 15:07, Reply)

Party
As said before

www.b3ta.com/questions/noneedforthat/post33669/
(loquis, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 15:07, Reply)

Doing homework
I worked my nuts off to get the best qualifications I could. Now I've got degrees up the wazoo and what has it earned me?

A feckin' piss-ant, underpaid job and an utterly meaningless life based entirely on earning money to pay bills.

I regret listening to my teachers. I'm now much cleverer than they were and I realise they were twats.
(frankspencer, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 14:59, Reply)

Regrets
I've had a few ..
(flibbley lame balloon man far and wee, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 14:55, Reply)

help
this is going to be a long, bitter seven days isnt it?
embrace the darkness!
(kaptinkurtz, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 14:48, Reply)

Only one regret...
...that I didn't leave the damn bitch about ten years earlier than I did. I knew the marriage was doomed, but tried to stick with it through sheer stubbornness.

On the other hand, had I done that I wouldn't have my kids. Nor would I have been likely to meet my current SO. So I guess it all works out in the end...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 5 Oct 2006, 14:41, Reply)