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# *unzips*
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:44, archived)
# woe betide those complete cunts that use the middle of three vacant urinals
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:49, archived)
# 'angings too good for um.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:51, archived)
# haha so true
at work we have 4 urinals, but the furthest one required squeezing in beside a pillar, so it's too obvious to use so 1 and 3 tend to get used instead.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:52, archived)
# Yeah but see
you go in there, there's a guy at either end, you choose the middle, and they both finish and leave. What are you supposed to do, relocate mid-stream?
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 18:59, archived)
# Oh god, another level of complexity!
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 19:15, archived)
# if there's a guy at each end, go to a cubicle you cock-watcher!
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 19:53, archived)
# But how am I going to see any cocks from in there?
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 20:36, archived)
# Bet it's the same kind of people who use the next door cubicle too when all the others are spare
And to top it all off don't even bother attempting some kind of noise control! :(
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 17:38, archived)
# clicked
I haz beer so have a cdc
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:50, archived)
# Me too :D
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 18:06, archived)
# Ha ha
Its called Proxemics apparently
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:51, archived)
# I new there would be a science behind it, what I did discover is how bloody complex it gets
There are at least another 5 rules to think about when choosing a urinal.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:52, archived)
# If you hunt around
there are some interactive quizzes that are spooky. They know which urinal you will pick every time.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:55, archived)
# Should I change it to Urinal Proxemics, or does Politics work?
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:56, archived)
# Change it to "PISS RULES"
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:58, archived)
# Done.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 18:15, archived)
# It's also an example of negatively cooperative binding
where the coefficient in the Hill equation is less than 1.
Science!
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 2:12, archived)
# I was a victim of 'too close' in diagram 1, the other day.
Far more intrusive than a stranger sitting next to you on an otherwise empty bus. WOMEN YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:51, archived)
# those fuckers talk to each other in toilets apparently
i never do that for fear of getting bummed
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:55, archived)
# I read it's apparently OK to talk if you're doing exactly the same thing.
However, that would still be plainly weird.

Off to sea in a bit. Hopefully some nice albatrosses about today.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:57, archived)
# where are you that you might see an albatross?
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:58, archived)
# Sydney.
Sometimes, they can come fairly close into shore, but we're going about 30 km out. Probably just in time to meet the next round of tsunami...
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 18:02, archived)
# oh so you actually go out in a boat you mean? scary shit with all the weather you've been having round there recently
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 18:04, archived)
# Wafers?
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 2:14, archived)
# Or mistaken for a suspiciously friendly late-middle-aged Real Ale Drinker.
Seriously, though: six empty urinals, I'm at one end - WHY GO TO THE ONE NEXT TO ME?
It wouldn't have been as bad if he hadn't decided to commence urination only AFTER dropping his trousers and pants around his ankles
(And, no shit, I have seen people actually do that in public toilets before)
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 18:00, archived)
# holy cow, he was totally coming on to you! you missed a trick there i reckon
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 18:03, archived)
# I should have guessed when he grasped my shaft and began massaging furiously.
I just assumed that he was helping me shake off the last few drops of piss
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 18:09, archived)
# hahaha!
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 18:13, archived)
# there's advanced issues too, such as when there is a lowered urinal for kids
you don't want to use it because you are a man so it adds another layer of complexity
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:54, archived)
# It gets more complex if you are George Michael as well.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:55, archived)
# Michael's Laws, 1 of 1: "More than 3 shakes is a court appearance"
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 19:40, archived)
# i always worry my willy isn't long enough and there'll be too much splash back from that height
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:56, archived)
# You'll be safe kneeling if, like me, you're in the habit of wearing thigh waders into the gents.
Admittedly, I can't pull off the look in every pub ...
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 18:04, archived)
# you paint quite the picture!
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 18:05, archived)
# Waders ... AND NOTHING ELSE.
I calculated that I gain approximately 12 seconds more drinking time per piss, what with the not having to operate a zip fly in two directions.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 18:22, archived)
# tuck them into your wellies
And you won't have to visit the loo all night.
(, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:04, archived)
# There's a couple of odd ones at work
Who use the stalls for pissing instead of the urinals, but don't close the door. With the way they're constructed at work, you can't see until you've already put a foot across the threshold, causing immense awkwardness.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 18:00, archived)
# oh that is all of the wrong
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 18:27, archived)
# hah
I remember someone in school did a shit in a urinal, they were the days....
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:54, archived)
# ...good god.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:56, archived)
# we used to see who could piss the highest up the wall behind the urinal
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:56, archived)
# ^this^ hahahah .... dirty little feckers
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:58, archived)
# :D
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:59, archived)
# almost as bad
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 19:07, archived)
# I like this!
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 17:55, archived)
# The men in suits aren't even holding theirs!
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 18:48, archived)
# They are very cocksure.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 18:51, archived)
#
you should always observe the gentlemans gap in these situations.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 19:29, archived)
# The third pic, I bet I can tell the order in which they arrived.
Left, right, middle. I'M RIGHT, AREN'T I? AREN'T I?
*levels up*
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 19:54, archived)
# *unzips*
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 22:54, archived)
# Reminds me of this
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 10:45, archived)
# i was thinking of that too
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:14, archived)