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[challenge entry] That obnoxious wallpaper's getting on my fecking nerves!


From the Haunted House challenge. See all 180 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! The Silent Channel is getting his recommended 5-a-day, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 14:55, archived)
# 8D
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 14:58, archived)
# Blimey
I never knew Father Jack had his hair permed.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 14:59, archived)
# This might be from the scene where his hair sets alight.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:01, archived)
# Sorry to TJ but something serious has happened here and I need advice
My new right hand (wo)man has just been given a task to gather everyone's birthdays to print and put up on the wall in my office.

She has done it in Comic Sans.

I have given her a verbal warning but should I just sack her and be done with it?

kthx
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:01, archived)
#
sack give her a chinese burn
(I helped save b3ta! Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:02, archived)
# Fonts should be the least of the world's worries.
But yeah. Sack her.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:03, archived)
# Verbal warning?
50 lashes, followed by a beheading.

It's the only language their sort understand
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:03, archived)
# I do like the cut of your jib
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:18, archived)
# thanks
I like to keep my jib in pristine condition
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:57, archived)
# I think the first offence should just garner a warning
Also: does she use her left hand sometimes too?
(I helped save b3ta! The Silent Channel is getting his recommended 5-a-day, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:05, archived)
# I am the left-handed one
but that's why I had to hire her because as a sinister person, I am incapable of doing decent work.

She is right-handed and therefore is infinitely better than I could ever hope to be.

still, she's about to be sacked so I suppose it's all academic now
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:13, archived)
# where do you post the answers to your crossword clues?
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:15, archived)
# Hehe, I'd almost forgotten about that
Last time I did it, I changed my sig after the first person who guessed right, but no-one's even had a go at this one :(
If anyone fancies a guess, feel free...
(I helped save b3ta! The Silent Channel is getting his recommended 5-a-day, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:19, archived)
# Tell her everyone loves comic sans,
it gives a light humourous touch to serious correspondence.

{:-D
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:09, archived)
# This was her defence
She said that as it was a birthday list it needed to look jolly. She even put it in various colours. Comic San and loads of colours made me react a bit too strongly.

She's a Yorkshire lass and made of stern stuff so I may just decide to not sack her and go with Wildyles's suggestion of giving her a chinese burn.

I need to calm down first though.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:17, archived)
# I'm probably not the best person to comment really
I don't like the whole office birthday thing.
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:32, archived)
# No it's not for that
I pay a bonus to everyone on their birthday.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:39, archived)
# Oh that's different and a nice idea.
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Thu 20 Sep 2012, 17:02, archived)
# Get her to re-do it with Party font
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:10, archived)
# Is it brown?
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:14, archived)
# All colours of the rainbow
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:21, archived)
# Did it, and this is very important,
did it contain a picture of a rainbow dinosaur?
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:43, archived)
# No, no it didn't
I know how you feel about such things though.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:22, archived)
# This is completely unacceptable.
Sacking is to good for her.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:32, archived)
# the punishment must be swift, it must be severe and it must be effective
look her straight in the eyes with the sternest stare you have and without looking away, cross her birthday from the list, place the lid back on the pen and throw it to the floor

you may have to practise this a bit to get it right
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:22, archived)
# These suggestions are very good
I will give her a second chance but will apply all the suggestions in this thread to ram home the fact that this was a very serious offence.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:34, archived)
# The written warning
should be in the Comic Sans font for effect
(I helped save b3ta! fuscous, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:00, archived)
# Serious.
(I helped save b3ta! TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:14, archived)
# Witch!...Burn her!
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 17:19, archived)
# pffft!
(I helped save b3ta! Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:01, archived)