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# i don't know why, but i need to do this
name: alex spencer

address: use your initiative

gender: male (unfortunatly)

sexuality: Bi/gay

hobbies: b3ta, body modification, mountain biking.

problems: ADD, some other shitty thing, as yet unidentified, best described as i get knackered easy, have no stamina, poor co-ordination, poor short term an visual memory, facial agnosia, oh and i'm depressed and on the verge of alcoholism.

i don't know why i told you all that. but i did
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Kitteny Berk almost certainly drunk, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:33, archived)
# *snigger*
I read that as "Sexuality: Bumgay"

Anyway.. ehh.. hi?
(Harry, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:34, archived)
# pretty much
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Kitteny Berk almost certainly drunk, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:35, archived)
# i read it as
"Sexuality: Big gay"

/freudian moment
(I helped save b3ta! 100% of Gibbon, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:36, archived)
# hehe
you'd be right too
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Kitteny Berk almost certainly drunk, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:37, archived)
# SKY|ONE - NOW!
Dr. Zeus, Dr. Zeus
Dr. Zeus, Dr. Zeus
Dr. Zeus, Dr. Zeus
Oh, Dr. Zeus!
(I helped save b3ta! The Duke Of Your Fingers feels like an old man... mmm, tasty!, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:42, archived)
# Do you mean
Dr. Seuss?
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:46, archived)
# isn't it
Amadeus?
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:48, archived)
# Ohh...
from Simpsons!!!!!

DUH!!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 20:01, archived)
# i hate every ape i see,
from chimpanay to chimpanzee.
(I helped save b3ta! bananaman, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:47, archived)
# haha!
oh, I hope I have that episode on video - I really need to see it now and don't have sky.
(I helped save b3ta! barnesy, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:47, archived)
# "ever heard of the planet of the apes?"
"err, the movie or the planet?"
(tinkers rucksack, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:50, archived)
# A fish called Selma
nice episode.
(1, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:50, archived)
# You know what you need
some Bream In Cream
(I helped save b3ta! StickFigureNinja is worried he may be on the list, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:35, archived)
# I'm sorry
I've already forgotten what you posted?
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:35, archived)
# buy a kitten
(I helped save b3ta! Obz Click, ting, stamps, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:36, archived)
# or at least shop one!
:OP

edit - Ooh look, there's lots here: www.barnesy.org/kittenator/
/spam (but new and improved)
(I helped save b3ta! barnesy, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:36, archived)
# i already have 3 cats
no space for more
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Kitteny Berk almost certainly drunk, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:37, archived)
# if you have 3 cats
what you need is an alligator. bloodbath fun a-plenty.
(I helped save b3ta! 100% of Gibbon, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:38, archived)
# I recommend Gnus.
Lots of gnus.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:42, archived)
# seconded.
the mighty wildebeest is a most life-affirming creature. unlike the pangolin. but i would select a pangolin too (you could use it to clean your back in the bath).
(I helped save b3ta! 100% of Gibbon, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:45, archived)
# STAMPEDE!
hurrah.
(I helped save b3ta! bananaman, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:47, archived)
# you've
got a very nice (well, scary) tattoo though
(I helped save b3ta! Chupacabra owes me ten quid, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:38, archived)
# well i figure
if i've got the fear attached to me, he can't attack me
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Kitteny Berk almost certainly drunk, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:41, archived)
# dont be depressed.
on the cosmic scale of things, nothing in this life really matters. Therefore being depressed and unhappy throughout your life is illogical.
(I helped save b3ta! Obz Click, ting, stamps, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:38, archived)
# i know that
i know life is pointless
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Kitteny Berk almost certainly drunk, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:39, archived)
# why do people say that like it's a bad thing?

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:41, archived)
# That's just summed it all up for me
in one simple image.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:42, archived)
# "no reason to live,
and we like it that way" - bloodhound gang
(I helped save b3ta! Chupacabra owes me ten quid, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:43, archived)
# i think i love you right now.
but you're not here to reply.
and now neither am i.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 3:08, archived)
# but
it's rather nice, nonetheless.
(I helped save b3ta! bananaman, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:42, archived)
# uh
now i'm depressed.
(I helped save b3ta! limpfish, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:40, archived)
# but thats just silly
(I helped save b3ta! Obz Click, ting, stamps, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:41, archived)
# nothing in this life really matters
we're all going to die.
its all bad.
(I helped save b3ta! limpfish, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:42, archived)
# okay..
we might as well have fun before we die then.
(I helped save b3ta! Obz Click, ting, stamps, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:43, archived)
# Recommended treatment:
Support of family and friends.

Nice long walks.

Photoshopping kittens.

Councilling for alcohol problem.

Next!
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:39, archived)
# ok, well
i dont have any friends, the people i want to be friends with ignore me, i have depression, anxiety, paranoia, phobias, a tendancy towards self harm, eating issues, i might have epilepsy, i feel alone, unloved and unwanted and i'm sick of it all
(I helped save b3ta! evil pixie, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:42, archived)
# *many many many many hugs*
come to the Halloween bash... have real hugs, and real friends
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:43, archived)
# i can't afford to come
and in any case loud places, warm places, crowded places and smokey places all give me panic attacks
(I helped save b3ta! evil pixie, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:47, archived)
# I've got
a quiet, cool, empty and smoke-free spare room if you ever want to get away from it all for a few days.
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:49, archived)
# thank you
but cos i can't work cos i'm too ill i live on benefits and can't afford trips to london. i couldn't afford to go to edinburgh either really, but it seemed like something i couldn't miss out on
(I helped save b3ta! evil pixie, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:51, archived)
# You have friends.
.
(Icouldsleepforever, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:44, archived)
# you gonna name them then?
(I helped save b3ta! evil pixie, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:48, archived)
#
here's one
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Kitteny Berk almost certainly drunk, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:48, archived)
# thanks = )
*hug*
but as ace as you are, you're not much use 500 miles away, your arms arent long enough for hugs
(I helped save b3ta! evil pixie, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:50, archived)
# If you need someone to listen
edit/ well thats me looking like a stalker
(Icouldsleepforever, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:51, archived)
# !
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:47, archived)
# it's
true, you know.
(I helped save b3ta! bananaman, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:48, archived)
# normally i can believe that
but i'm having difficulty right now
(I helped save b3ta! evil pixie, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:48, archived)
# well it will
find a really big tree and hug it. that usually works for me.
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 20:00, archived)
# and
sex
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:42, archived)
# Well obviously.
;)
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:43, archived)
# sex isn't the answer
sex is the question. yes is the answer.
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:46, archived)
# *tries to resist urge to post similar profile*
*trying hard*
(I helped save b3ta! evil pixie, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:39, archived)
# To be honest Alex,
the "get knackered easy, have no stamina, poor co-ordination, poor short term an visual memory, facial agnosia" thng sounds like ME (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis). Find the ME society on Google, and call them. They have a 14 point test. But don't be donwhearted, it is fairly easy to deal with.
(I helped save b3ta! pxyzyzygy, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:40, archived)
# pfft
i wish it was that easy, heading on for 10 years of doctors and hospitals so far... and it's not been ME in that time
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Kitteny Berk almost certainly drunk, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:43, archived)
# Shit, I'm very sorry to hear that.
The medical profession don't like ME, as it's difficult (for them) to diagnose it, and difficult (for them) to treat. For the rest of us, it's common sense; take it easy, read a lot, walk 2 or 3 miles every day, try to do a Hay diet (don't mix proteins and carbohydrates). Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) for you, alcahol and ME don't mix. Try weed instead. My ex who sufferd it very badly, found E helped a huge amount too...

Edit: And, as Ms Viper suggests, loads of sex.
(I helped save b3ta! pxyzyzygy, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:46, archived)
# i find
dexdrine helps a shitload, as do poppers, may have to try weed next
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Kitteny Berk almost certainly drunk, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:48, archived)
# Poppers may make you feel good,
but unprescribed you can damage the heart.
(I helped save b3ta! pxyzyzygy, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:49, archived)
# someone i know made some
and took them at school one day. that was an interesting RE lesson.
(I helped save b3ta! bananaman, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:50, archived)
# yeah
but it stops the aching of my body
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Kitteny Berk almost certainly drunk, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:56, archived)
# I second the Hay diet!
Helped perk me up.
(I helped save b3ta! MartinH, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:50, archived)
# i. believe it or not, have been treated
at various points in my life for ME, narcolepsy and depression (and, briefly, leukaemia, although i didn't actually have it - it's a long story).

the only thing that i could advise is that no matter how bad it feels right now, it can and will get better. no matter how black it feels, there will always be a pin-prick of light in the distance. it may be so small that you can't see it right now, but you''d be surprised how quickly it becomes visible.

go to the doctor and a shot of serotonin - you may have to try a couple of different types and there's a small chance you'll react nastily to one, which may make it a little worse for a while, but it's worth it.

there's no definitive answer on how to get over it, unfortunately. but it'll come. trust me.
(I helped save b3ta! 100% of Gibbon, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:55, archived)
# pinprick of light?
interesting turn of phrase considering ; )
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:57, archived)
# Celexa (trade name in Canada)
seems to be the best of the lot (serotonin re-uptake inhibitor). Did my wife a world of good.
(Fuzzbutt aka Mr. Natural, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 20:05, archived)
# yeah but
you missed out - sets off metal detectors at airports and webcam expert ; )
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 22 Aug 2003, 19:41, archived)