Hohoho
I'm a sick bastard.



Better now?

Sorry guys

From the Sick Christmas Cards challenge. See all 300 entries (closed)

(Boon Goon, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:42, archived)

F.A.Q.
one letter for each 120k 40k you've just posted....
( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:42, archived)

Ho Ho Pedal

(Hauptman Von Butter Kasse You are all a bunch of mincing pansies, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:54, archived)

wow when you compressed it you got a bit of gayness from saving it as a jpg
looks like some sort of kid in a car.
( Master Of Turnips. soi kitara murheissaan, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:56, archived)

Mmmmmm
But he's putting his little perverted foot on the gas! lol!
(Hauptman Von Butter Kasse You are all a bunch of mincing pansies, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:00, archived)

nazis
and

nazi's

will be arriving soon, please have your papers ready

ok, I may say rude nawty words now!
( Discomeats fish fingers are READY!, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:43, archived)

but my papers say i'm not a Jew sir.

( Master Of Turnips. soi kitara murheissaan, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:43, archived)

Zilence! Ve vill ask ze qwvestions!

( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:44, archived)

*slap*

( Mr. Johnson, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:44, archived)

*crackle*

( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:44, archived)

*third degree burns*

( Discomeats fish fingers are READY!, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:45, archived)

best of all the cereal noises

( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:46, archived)

adds that bit of danger to the breakfast nook action

( Discomeats fish fingers are READY!, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:47, archived)

My breakfast went snap, crackle and pop this morning....
...which was unusual for a kipper
( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:48, archived)

I had a bleak
egg, bacon & sausage sandwich at work

it was silent :(
( Discomeats fish fingers are READY!, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:49, archived)

Do the meat fillings of your sandwiches normally scream out in pain
when you bite into them?
( Master Of Turnips. soi kitara murheissaan, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:49, archived)

only at first

( Discomeats fish fingers are READY!, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:50, archived)

meh, damn those silent breakfasts!
noisy breakfasts from now on in!
( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:49, archived)

damn right
I want each ingredient to make a different sound

that way I can relax to their dulcet tones in my mighty tract
( Discomeats fish fingers are READY!, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:51, archived)

Demand NOISY BREAKFASTS!
It's your right
( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:51, archived)

yes damn it!!!

( Discomeats fish fingers are READY!, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:54, archived)

*pop*

( the holly and the ivv, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:45, archived)

you got it! :-)
'ning
( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:46, archived)

Hello :)
Hooray, I made the obvious joke! I'd get minus points on QI for that :)
( the holly and the ivv, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:49, archived)

*flashes up big answer on laser display screen behind you*

*starts doing the obligatory Stephen Fry 'Maaaaaaah' noise*
( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:50, archived)

*feels like Alan Davies*

( the holly and the ivv, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:53, archived)

*doesn't like Alan Davies*
/Has met him and done work for him, arrogant cnut

you, on the other hand, are much nicer
( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:54, archived)

Oh
he seems so nice on telly.

/disappointed
( the holly and the ivv, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:57, archived)

I thought that, but I got involved in designing him a conservatory to house his precious Arsenal collection
back in 2000... he really IS quite arrogant, with the
'don't you know who I am' mentality, or at least, he was back then
doing all the stand up and bbc shows.
still, he may have calmed down now, hopefully
( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:58, archived)

Zilence!!!
Ve Demand ze Zilence In zilent zilence!!!
( Discomeats fish fingers are READY!, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:45, archived)

well, you'll have to be given new papers
as your existing papers are being very naughty
( Discomeats fish fingers are READY!, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:44, archived)

Look *gets out willy*
all present and correct!
( Master Of Turnips. soi kitara murheissaan, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:45, archived)

ah!!
it is ze special sub-de-fuge!

it is skin of non porcine sausage!
( Discomeats fish fingers are READY!, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:46, archived)

it vill ghave to come ov.

( Mr. Johnson, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:57, archived)

If by being sick you mean
FOR DESTROYING THE INTERNET.

You pee pee hole
( Master Of Turnips. soi kitara murheissaan, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:43, archived)

Bigger than the moon
That is all.
( the holly and the ivv, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:43, archived)

( M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:46, archived)

"SING LOFTY"!

( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:48, archived)

28 times so far today............

( M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:53, archived)

that all, fancy another go?
*sets it off*

it's quite relaxing to listen to, very melodic
( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:55, archived)

Seams to be a bit big...

( Fork Chuff off, you chuff., Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:44, archived)

come off it
It's not rocket science, and if everyone else can manage it I'm sure you can.
Still images 50k animations 200k
Please resize your picture, hit the edit button and re-upload it
( HappyToast sorted on, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:44, archived)

...I think he just did.

( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:45, archived)

I thought it was 250k for animations ?
Evening, chap :)
( FoldsFive Gold Rings is on the mend, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:49, archived)

*slips in a quick 'ning to the mighty pixelmeister*

( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:52, archived)

Evening, guvnor. Long time no speak :)

( FoldsFive Gold Rings is on the mend, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:53, archived)

indeed, it's nice to 'virtually' see you again :-)
I hope that the world is treating you and yours well,
and that you're all set for your first chrimstmas in the new home?
( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:54, archived)

Heh, don't worry - we finally get to meet up in person in March :)
Aye, we're just about ready for Christmas now. Trees up (still to get any lights for it though) and the vast majority of the presents have been purchased. I trust you and Mrs Architect are grand.
( FoldsFive Gold Rings is on the mend, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:56, archived)

indeed, not so bad, been a bit up and down lately with family funerals, illness and all manner of 'carry-on' like catastrophies going on
but all settled, and now ready for christmas, hurrah!
( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:57, archived)

Here's to a better and prosperous christmas and new year
for the pair of you then..!
( FoldsFive Gold Rings is on the mend, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:58, archived)

indeed, to one and all,
god bless us, every one

/tiny tim blog
( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:59, archived)

it's 250 for anims

( mugatu what the deuce?, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:56, archived)

recommended 200
in the same way pictures are recommended 50

The absolute max is 250
( HappyToast sorted on, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:58, archived)

even the mods accept them up to 250, and I've never seen a mod complain under 250k
people will generally accept 250k here for most things.
I KNOW that 200k is said in the FAQ, but it just seems to have settled in to being 250k

theres no point quoting chapter and verse of the faq at people who haven't read it,
kinda defeats the object
( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:11, archived)

lordy lordy lordy

( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:25, archived)

Yay, an excuse to use this:

( MarkyH feels like the H in Bob Hoskins' name, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:45, archived)

uh-oh

( HappyToast sorted on, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:46, archived)

Bloody 'ell!
You did that quick!
( MarkyH feels like the H in Bob Hoskins' name, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:48, archived)

20 minutes or there abouts

( HappyToast sorted on, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:48, archived)

needs more
"unrealistically overlarge and blatantly uncarryable weapon"

:D
( Discomeats fish fingers are READY!, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:49, archived)

20 minutes to mesh him, rig him, material him and animate him.
That's fucking Godly.
( MarkyH feels like the H in Bob Hoskins' name, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:50, archived)

I think he's got a secret army of trained 3d zombies
:D
( Discomeats fish fingers are READY!, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:53, archived)

B3ta Towers
features a convenient time-deceleration field
i think
( pzyko is a whaler on the moon and carries a harpoon, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:54, archived)

well it's a very simple mesh
textures are flat colours and the anim is an old one.
( HappyToast sorted on, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:58, archived)

Ah, you used an old rig.
That explains it.
( MarkyH feels like the H in Bob Hoskins' name, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:00, archived)

no, old animation file
new rig
( HappyToast sorted on, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:01, archived)

What software do you use?

( MarkyH feels like the H in Bob Hoskins' name, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:29, archived)

needs more manhood

Compo Entry
( SkUG HAS BOUGHT A HOUSE - WOO YEAH!, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:04, archived)

*jumps on inevitable bandwagon*
and...

BIGGER!!!
(General Arfarfarnarf He who hesitates, Masturbates!, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:45, archived)

If you'd spent any time watching this site before posting this
you should have known that people would only respond with comments about the size rather than the actual picture itself. In the name of God optimise it.. there really is no excuse for it to be more than a third of the meg. There are plenty of online tools to optimise your pictures if you don't have any such tools on your PC.
( FoldsFive Gold Rings is on the mend, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:49, archived)

MS Paint
King of Jpg optimisers.
( Master Of Turnips. soi kitara murheissaan, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:50, archived)

Heh, king of artifacting at any rate :)

( FoldsFive Gold Rings is on the mend, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 20:51, archived)