The story that vanished


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From the Sick Christmas Cards challenge. See all 300 entries (closed)

(Lesbian Ham Exit, pursued by a bear on, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:02, archived)

jpegartifactastic!

( mutster101 is not the new Doctor Who, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:03, archived)

TJ
Now this is what I call pissed
( Griffy Savalas Become her drillosaur, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:05, archived)

"After the hearing, Craswell's father, who declined to be named, said there should have been barriers to prevent his son from getting on to the railway line. "

WHAT HAPPENED TO TAKING RESPONSIBILITY?? AAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCKING NANNY STATE RANTRANTRANT AAARRRGGKLJHIUO:QWYFDP(YQWOPE89yf09&^_")£^R*IO"NUFYCILEUAYC)(*${)&$+&UQICE
( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:07, archived)

*pulls Dixon's head onto bosom*
There, there
( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:09, archived)

=^_^=
kekekekekekekekekekeekkekkekeekekeke
( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:10, archived)

Chrissakes.
Should read: "I'm a fucking terrible father - I never told him not to go on the railway lines. In fact I used to take him on day trips there. Oh well."

Parents don't have a clue any more.
( wastedindustry hates writing CVs, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:09, archived)

*cancels weekend outing with the kids*

( Griffy Savalas Become her drillosaur, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:12, archived)

this is strange...
... i remember everyday my mother used to say, without fail, as i left for school "Watch the roads"

and the one time she didnt say it... I GOT RUN OVER!
( hubare originator of "NEAR THE TOP", Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:14, archived)

'watch the cars' would hae made more sense

( Griffy Savalas Become her drillosaur, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:17, archived)

that's just parental irresponsibility
that is
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:17, archived)

the cow!!!

( hubare originator of "NEAR THE TOP", Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:18, archived)

Well said Mr Bawls.
I for one, couldn't agree more.

For instance, what's with that "Other films you may enjoy" bollocks at Cineworld? Is there something too hard to understand about "Coming Soon"?

/soapbox
( Professor Kenny Martin brings the noise so you don't have to, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:09, archived)

It's probably something about
the double-entendre in 'coming soon'.

I personally think the whole world is mad.
( wastedindustry hates writing CVs, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:11, archived)

cuming soon shoe-oily?

( Griffy Savalas Become her drillosaur, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:11, archived)

I really hate the word 'cuming/cumming'.
It just seems so schoolboy-esque.
( wastedindustry hates writing CVs, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:14, archived)

there was some major flaming over it earlier today

( Griffy Savalas Become her drillosaur, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:17, archived)

Yeah I saw :)
I'm sure the guy meant 'cumin'.
( wastedindustry hates writing CVs, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:19, archived)

Was there?
I missed that. Got a link?
( Professor Kenny Martin brings the noise so you don't have to, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:23, archived)

The only flaming is Griffin, the big drama queen
:P
( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:27, archived)

I've spazzed back and seen it.
=)
( Professor Kenny Martin brings the noise so you don't have to, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:34, archived)

*scratches your eyes out*

( Griffy Savalas Become her drillosaur, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:38, archived)

It's useful though
You try screaming 'I'm about to have an orgasm' when you are...
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:19, archived)

Yeah... it's the spelling that really pisses me off.
C-O-M-I-N-G is the way to spell it in my book.
( wastedindustry hates writing CVs, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:20, archived)

Oh aye, I agree with you there.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:21, archived)

Hurrah!
Someone who agrees!
( wastedindustry hates writing CVs, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:23, archived)

best tell these poor fuckers then
maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=Cumming,+Warren,+Iowa,+United+States&ie=UTF8&om=1&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=57.379893,108.017578&z=14&iwloc=addr
( Griffy Savalas Become her drillosaur, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:23, archived)

Hahaha
pure genius :D
( wastedindustry hates writing CVs, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:24, archived)

its the 3 types of recomendations that get me
can't remeber the first one,
recomended by kids for kids
recomened by the 'team' at Cineworld - get to fuck!
( Griffy Savalas Become her drillosaur, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:11, archived)

The "Team"?
fucking hell.
( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:11, archived)

have you seen the people who work at cinemas?
would you take their recommendation for anything?
( Griffy Savalas Become her drillosaur, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:13, archived)

not a thing. Not even their directions to the toilet.

( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:15, archived)

pffft

( mediocre I am not strange, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:20, archived)

Team Cineworld of course.
Occasionally called Team CW*

*Not in any way affiliated with Captain Wow, Chorizowagon or CaroWallis. Or any other CWs I've forgotted.
( Professor Kenny Martin brings the noise so you don't have to, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:14, archived)

CuntWastrel?

( wastedindustry hates writing CVs, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:15, archived)

Cwiff Wichard

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:18, archived)

'Craswell's father, who declined to be named,'
i'll name him: MISTER CRASWELL
( mictoboy, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:11, archived)

(senior)

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:11, archived)

se~nor!

( mictoboy, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:14, archived)

Good god, I never thought I'd find someone as obsessed with Izzard as I am.
However I am glad that I have, because I don't feel like such a freak any more.
( wastedindustry hates writing CVs, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:17, archived)

'and it wouldn't be 'seen-your' would it, it'd be 'Senor!'.....'

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:20, archived)

Exactly :D
As I recall it was crabs saying it...
( wastedindustry hates writing CVs, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:21, archived)

It was indeed
Louder pig louder pig louder pig mute! La cucaracha the pig...
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:24, archived)

I turn you into a.... PIG!
A PIG!... PIG!... Damn batteries...
( wastedindustry hates writing CVs, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:26, archived)

I can't see that word without thinking of Eddie Izzard now
postning, mictofluff.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:17, archived)

how are you sexy?

( mictoboy, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:22, archived)

Well I'm kind of busty...
Oh I see what you mean.

I am okidoki, ta. Busty, as it happens.

AND IT'S FRIDAY!
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:23, archived)

Maybe he should just put his son on elastic.
That way he can only stay at the pub as long as he could hold himself there, and he'd get home REALLY quickly.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:11, archived)

What a fab idea

( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:12, archived)

*bows*
I am a fab person, is why
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:19, archived)

oddly enough
that made me remember to check to train times
(Lesbian Ham Exit, pursued by a bear on, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:07, archived)

What a numpty.
There were some brill ones in the metro of Alice Beer off telly.
Pissed & hugging a traffic cone. They haven't hit the interweb yet....
( Geoff the Clownfish MADAMA butterfly and the NAGASAKI MUSHROOM!, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:08, archived)

she has a great name
a face like a welders bench, but a great name
( Griffy Savalas Become her drillosaur, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:09, archived)

Here...
img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2006/12/alicelbeerREX_500x600.jpg
( Hownumbsyabutt numbing things down, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:12, archived)

Serves her right
I owned a puffball skirt when I was little and even THEN I knew it was a bad idea.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:14, archived)

Good work
I did look for them
( Geoff the Clownfish MADAMA butterfly and the NAGASAKI MUSHROOM!, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:14, archived)

what the fuck is she wearing?

( Griffy Savalas Become her drillosaur, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:15, archived)

looks like Willem Dafoe in the top frame

( The Great Architect, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:16, archived)

I think its the entrepreneur
aussie guy off of dragons den...
(b3tan senseless is slowly getting older, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:22, archived)

A big mushroom?

( Hownumbsyabutt numbing things down, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:16, archived)

I think her farts are collecting in her distended rectal membrane and she hasn't noticed.

( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:17, archived)

a puffball skirt
80s badness
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:22, archived)

excellent
i was like that last night
( Wasp Box has a Dutch Equivalent, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:18, archived)

you looked great in that skirt

( GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:21, archived)

I shouldn't have gone commando though

( Wasp Box has a Dutch Equivalent, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:29, archived)

Ooof!
Post-ning, all.

*munches*
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:05, archived)

'ning, Cap'n!
*molests slightly*
( Professor Kenny Martin brings the noise so you don't have to, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:06, archived)

How was your gig?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:08, archived)

We rocked!
And looked hilarious...

www.b3ta.com/board/6640345
( Professor Kenny Martin brings the noise so you don't have to, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:12, archived)

I didn't know Phil Mitchell was even into Adam and the Ants
*runs*
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:16, archived)

*chases*
*bums*
( Professor Kenny Martin brings the noise so you don't have to, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:36, archived)

hullo.
watcha munchin' ?
( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:08, archived)

doritos, nuts and a chicken salad sarnie.
Oh and a piss-poor glass of white wine as we had a presentation today.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:09, archived)

ooh I want some piss poor wine too
In 3 hours starts our company xmas pardy..

lots of free booze and eats, and Dixon in a white suit and wig. Fabtastic.
( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:14, archived)

Ours is tonight, too
On some big yacht thing on the Thames. I'm not going though as fuckoffamIwearingaballgown. Plus it's no partners.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:26, archived)

No partners - :( yeh here too
The summerparty had partners and families invited.. so it was full of screaming kids :(
( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:30, archived)

*shudders*

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 Dec 2006, 14:35, archived)