Not very PC , but hey-It's a joke!!!


From the Self Help Books For Kids challenge. See all 290 entries (closed)

(archstanton The gold is next to me....leave me be, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:08, archived)

Coz that's what Islam's about.
Blowing things up!

EDIT: Try new Islam. The inflatable religion!
( riverghost It's Sprooooooooutmaaaaas!, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:09, archived)

Er no....
Yeh all the fun stuff!!!!! Only kidding Christians like killing people as well--(only not unborn babies they seem to be immune)
(archstanton The gold is next to me....leave me be, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:11, archived)

Oh fuck it, you're going on ignore.

( Pedantichrist twitter.com/LordManley, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:12, archived)

arf

( Agent Muu b3ta.com/board/9745928 <- b3taday festivities!, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:13, archived)

Not true Christians.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:12, archived)

Just those nasty fake one
Lets face it the bibles a lovely fluffy book.
( riverghost It's Sprooooooooutmaaaaas!, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:14, archived)

and the crusades were just a bad dream

( HappyToast sorted on, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:15, archived)

That was just religion being used
as a tool for influencing people. And for rulers to be shitty to other people when they wanted to steal their stuff. If no religion existed, it would have been something else used as an excuse.

At the time of the Crusades, most people wouldn't have had access to a bible because:

a) They mostly couldn't read

and

b) They didn't understand Latin.
( Afinkawan, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:17, archived)

the Church didn't want the common man reading
it kept them docile
( The King of Hats The bigger they are, the Hadoken they fall!, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:19, archived)

Yep.
That was The Church, not the religion.
( Afinkawan, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:19, archived)

and now we have 12 different english version
from NIV to the Message...

and still the common man doesn't read em
(Canazza, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:21, archived)

but which religion?
there are so many offshoots, extremes and minor versions that it's impossible to simply say Christianity any more. In the same way that you can't point at a suicide bomber and say Muslim.

Religion may well have been really good and nice once but then mankind got hold of it.
( HappyToast sorted on, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:21, archived)

^This
it's not the religions themselves (i.e. the words in the various holy books), it's the organised religions that use it to get their own way and tell others what to do.
( Afinkawan, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:23, archived)

I just agree with everything that Jesus chap said.
I think he was a pretty groovy cat.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:24, archived)

^This
Be nice to each other was basically what he said. Can't really disagree with that too much.
( Afinkawan, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:25, archived)

political agitator
and alleged son of god

good with MFI flat packed furniture too!
( The King of Hats The bigger they are, the Hadoken they fall!, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:25, archived)

yes
but those are things everyone could agree on even without religion, like the 10 commandements.
It's all about "how can humans live happily with each other".
( pzyko is a whaler on the moon and carries a harpoon, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:28, archived)

^This
even if there is no God/gods etc. Religions basically all contain very good rules on how to have a large bunch of people in one place coexisting tolerably.
( Afinkawan, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:30, archived)

which are basically built in to us through evolution
in the same way that dogs live in packs and gorillas take care of their environment in the wild.

But religion doesn't like people suggesting that nature invented their rules or that evolution ever happened.

I'd like religion if it wasn't so manipulative and self obsessed.
( HappyToast sorted on, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:34, archived)

Sorry, but I don't agree with that (first) statement.
Most "built-in" features like egoism and envy (which can lead to murder etc) are only kept at bay by cultural education.
Our natural drives are always struggling with our conscience, and when the concience loses, bad things tend to happen.
( pzyko is a whaler on the moon and carries a harpoon, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:42, archived)

but how do you know what he said
when he said it 2000 years ago?
Journalists today can't get a quote right that was spoken yesterday?

Plus his words were first documented some 400 years after saying them according to most scholars dating of Bible number 1.
( HappyToast sorted on, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:28, archived)

True
but as I'm not hurting anyone, I'll believe whatever I like.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:32, archived)

thats fine and dandy and the best approach

( HappyToast sorted on, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:36, archived)

^ FAG ENABLER!!!! ^
BURN IN HELL!!

:D

/LT
( The King of Hats The bigger they are, the Hadoken they fall!, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:33, archived)

The message is as it is.
You either agree with it or don't.

Unless you're saying that you do believe in Jesus and that he was the son of God, then obviously the authenticity of what's in the Bible is a lot more important.
( Afinkawan, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:33, archived)

although the bible was collated and published as ONE work
400 years after the events, the books and letters themselves were in wide circulation well before then. The old testament infact, was copied and copied for thousands of years and nothing was changed between them.
(Canazza, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:37, archived)

are you sure?
isn't the da vinci code based on one error a monk made whilst translating the book in the 1500s?
( The King of Hats The bigger they are, the Hadoken they fall!, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:43, archived)

isn't the da vinci code a work of fiction?

(Canazza, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:52, archived)

or
in the same way that the Koran is only really taught in classical arabic--So to learn about Islam either learn fluent Arabic or listen to your Imam......Mmmm sounds like Roman Catholicism circa 1500???
(archstanton The gold is next to me....leave me be, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:24, archived)

there are english translations of the Qu'ran
my mate has one
(Canazza, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:27, archived)

Ah yes
but they arn't meant to be used really--A mate explained to me that it would be like reading a really bad photocopy of something---In the Arabic it is as the Prophet spoke...
(archstanton The gold is next to me....leave me be, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:30, archived)

a similar reasoning behind the 14th century catholics
that changing the bible from the original latin/aramaic/greek would rob it from it's original meaning.
They eventually saw the flawed reasoning in this, in the fact that any word, even if it has multiple meanings, can be included in a translations.
For example, there are about 5 different Ancient Hebrew words for love (like brotherly love, parental love, matrimonial love etc) all which can be translated to English with mutliple words. Same will apply to Arabic.
(Canazza, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:34, archived)

This are the people that banned certain musical notes.
How many people died in England just from the shifting to and through from CoE and Catholic?!
( riverghost It's Sprooooooooutmaaaaas!, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:24, archived)

Yes!
Not many people know how many poor fluffy bunnies were saved by those caring Christians!
( riverghost It's Sprooooooooutmaaaaas!, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:17, archived)

Because humans have never twisted a benign ideaology to suit their own ends?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:22, archived)

*bing*
Did you know that the Church of England has controlling shares in a company called GEC, the company that makes the Stinger missile launcher?
( riverghost It's Sprooooooooutmaaaaas!, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:28, archived)

Again, run by humans.
I didn't know that actually, that's mildy scary.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:30, archived)

St. Francis of Assissi

( Afinkawan, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:24, archived)

I never knew he was in the crusades?!
But if you are using his as a paragon of Christian virtue, you should mention that they went and formed their own separate order!
( riverghost It's Sprooooooooutmaaaaas!, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:30, archived)

truetrue true
although most people who are extremists end up doing things completely the opposite of what is actually written....Love forgiveness tolerance-becomes hate murder bigotry etc etc etc....
(archstanton The gold is next to me....leave me be, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:15, archived)

no, that's Star Wars you're thinking of

( HappyToast sorted on, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:15, archived)

define "true" Christians
Those living by the book? Old testament, especially?
( pzyko is a whaler on the moon and carries a harpoon, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:16, archived)

Erm.....
there weren't any Christians in the Old Testament....
( Afinkawan, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:19, archived)

Except Chris Tarrant
He's very old
( The Legendary Pink Dot, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:21, archived)

what I meant
was that some "Christians" pay more attention to what is written in the old testament than in the new one.
( pzyko is a whaler on the moon and carries a harpoon, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:22, archived)

Can you blame them?
Plagues, explosions, murder, pillars of salt, that's where all the fun stuff is.
(A Wooden Leg Named Smith, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:26, archived)

Oh right. That's true
It would mostly make better films than the New Testament. Ref. Charlton Heston.
( Afinkawan, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:26, archived)

Ones aware of the commandment not to murdalise.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:25, archived)

Like George Bush

( HappyToast sorted on, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:32, archived)

Less said

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:33, archived)

nicely said :)

( pzyko is a whaler on the moon and carries a harpoon, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:34, archived)

it's almost a joke
would have been better as
How to blow things up and influence people
( The King of Hats The bigger they are, the Hadoken they fall!, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:09, archived)

is it?

(Absynth&Cheese Have you tasted my Jesus, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:10, archived)

Er, Islam and extremism are different.
One of my very good friends is a muslim, and he's a gentle, gentle person.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:10, archived)

Couldn't have said it better myself.

( Professor Kenny Martin Receiver of the world's first Marbleositing, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:11, archived)

give it a go

( Aphex The Mink glasjay.blogspot.com, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:12, archived)

*tries*
*fails*

See - I told you but you wouldn't listen!
( Professor Kenny Martin Receiver of the world's first Marbleositing, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:15, archived)

ok
i'll know better next time
( Aphex The Mink glasjay.blogspot.com, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:22, archived)

ooooooohhh, no clichés at b3ta?
did I miss the memo?
( pzyko is a whaler on the moon and carries a harpoon, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:14, archived)

Must have done.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:21, archived)

Hmm.

( Pedantichrist twitter.com/LordManley, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:10, archived)

yes
This
(jammietarts ..., Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:11, archived)

nope
try again
( VampireMonkeyOnSled sensible shirt, tie, neatly combed hair etc, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:12, archived)

hahaha!
since when has Islam been about killing people?
(ACuntLikeYou I'm hated for loving, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:12, archived)

nicely researched
( HappyToast sorted on, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:13, archived)

You need to stop reading The Sun.

( Afinkawan, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:14, archived)

and writing for the Daily Mail

( HappyToast sorted on, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:16, archived)

Ahhh rightie...
so at B3ta you can insult and blaspheme about all sorts of religion (esp christianity) but an ironic joke about Islam is seen as really bad-OK so when I put on the header ONLY A JOKE it was seen as serious...mmmmmm
(archstanton The gold is next to me....leave me be, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:21, archived)

They're just worried the servers will be targeted

( The Legendary Pink Dot, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:26, archived)

I'm intrigued
to know your definition of the word 'irony'.
( Afinkawan, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:28, archived)

:D

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:35, archived)

I liked it better than the first book
"Part 1 - Mecca - Not just about bingo"
( cumquat may lemon lime and bitter disappointment, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:20, archived)

very good
hahahahahah
(archstanton The gold is next to me....leave me be, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:22, archived)

Hahahahaha!
Your name amuses me also
( The Legendary Pink Dot, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:24, archived)

^this

( Debbilgrrrrl is kinda back, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 16:25, archived)

well
I like it. Good work and a nice hi-lighting of Islamist child abuse.
(clut, Thu 12 Apr 2007, 20:13, archived)