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# But you're biased, as you work for the Guardian.

And if you could put in a word for me there, that'd be great. :)
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 11 Apr 2008, 10:14, archived)
# He works at the Grauniad?
But he can spell!
/1980's newspaper stereotype joke blog
(I helped save b3ta! Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 11 Apr 2008, 10:17, archived)
# I do all their artwork
and the page 7 animation
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 11 Apr 2008, 10:18, archived)
# I sense lies
where is my liemonkey?
(I helped save b3ta! Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 11 Apr 2008, 10:20, archived)
# Private eye joke
I remember all that, I read the Indescribablyboring these days
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Fri 11 Apr 2008, 10:21, archived)
# I told you, send a Jiffy bag of photos of
yourself frottaging a policeman and you're in.
I've lined up a cushy number as head of political analysis, that ok?
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 11 Apr 2008, 10:17, archived)
# That'll be lovely.

Let me see...

Politics; all bad. Unless it's against CO2 or something.

Will that do?
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 11 Apr 2008, 10:22, archived)
# no no no no no
Politics: it's all lies unless you're a financial friend of the newspaper.

If someone says "CO2" or "green" or "environment" and they aren't a friend it's "A transparently cynical smokescreen of made up figures to conceal the real damage". If they are a friend it's "A brave and controversial attempt to strike a blow against the havock wreaked on the environment by the previous administration"
(I helped save b3ta! Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 11 Apr 2008, 10:28, archived)
# *takes notes*

*explains this at the interview*

*gets job*

*hates job*

*hates world*

*becomes alcoholic*
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 11 Apr 2008, 10:30, archived)
# don't become an alcoholic
become cynical and abusive to your fellow man. Then you'll be like a thinner, better-paid version of me.
(I helped save b3ta! Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 11 Apr 2008, 10:32, archived)