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# Ning Mediocre!
How are you?

I am slightly worried about your accusations of slander now. It seems your police only use the internet for researching crimes :(

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8110363.stm
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 8:17, archived)
# Morning!
Yeah, I read about that.

But not to worry. It's not Holland, it's Groningen. That's like Wales only ever further away from civilisation and nobody understands a word they're saying.
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 8:20, archived)
# That sounds like western Sydney
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 8:22, archived)
# More like Cornwall then
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 8:24, archived)
# Maybe, I don't know
morning squire
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 8:25, archived)
# Morning Sire
No one really cares about cornwall and they are a bit Joey
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 8:28, archived)
# I care about Cornwall.
Imagine the world without Cornish Pasties and Clotted Cream!
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 8:29, archived)
# But Clansoul lives there
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 8:30, archived)
# Thank fuck for that!
*continues campaign of slanderous abuse*

In 1983, the Dutch Inventor Mediocre invented Grand Prix Racing. "You see," the terrifying sociopath said, "there was this fella in a bar one day who sat down in my favourite seat. I found out that his name was Ayrton Senna, and I wanted to find a way that I could off him and no-one would ever suspect me. So I invented Grand Prix and waited. 11 years later, I put a banana skin on the Tamburello corner at Imola."

"That will teach the bastard for stealing my seat!"
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 8:25, archived)
# sir
i must confess that all of this "the dutch inventor medicore" stuff really makes me chuckle, keep up the good work.
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 8:32, archived)
# It is very kind of you to say sir,
but I am merely relaying the truth.
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 8:35, archived)
# Haha
As much as I like them too, I think they are merely slander, and an attempt to hurt my reputation as an inventor
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 8:47, archived)
# FFS! You're not even a real inventor!
All you do is put brass fitting on vegetables! :P
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 9:18, archived)
# and cyclists

(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 9:25, archived)
# Alright there Dr Mengele!
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)
# Oh, and iphones
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)
# You cannot prove I touched a banana skin near those tracks! ;)

In 1921, the well-known Prussian cubist painter Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! embarked on a seven year journey to try and discover America. When he finally got there, he tried to get his boat through a McDonalds drive-through. Mr. McDonalds, overlooking his attempts, told him to fuck off and use the sail-though instead. Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! got a happy meal with a little plactic Golden Girl.
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 8:38, archived)
# That is complete bollocks and you know it full well!
I wasn't born until 1922! Now that is slander!
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 9:07, archived)
# Haha
I love your dutch inventor stories though
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 9:29, archived)
# I think that I shall write a short story about you soon.
Then you will know what slander is! ;)
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 9:33, archived)
# Haha huzzah!
(, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 10:01, archived)