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[challenge entry] I made this so you don't have to.....


Click for bigger (488 kb)
just remember to get some flowers from the garage on the way there...

From the Opposite Films challenge. See all 687 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:23, archived)
# pass me the bucket
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:23, archived)
# the love bucket?
also: do you live here? You seem to be omnipresent
Any time of day or night 'I wonder who's on b3ta today... oh, smash is here'
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:24, archived)
# no, the puke bucket :(
i don't live here, i just keep rather erratic hours due to insomnia
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:28, archived)
# i do like the idea of being omnipresent, though
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:29, archived)
# Oh god, that sounds like hell.
Being entirely absent is more soothing, surely.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:31, archived)
# probably
but i'm nosy ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:37, archived)
# Ceiling Smashy is watching you
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:33, archived)
# you'd better believe it
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:37, archived)
# I really should cover up the webcam
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:39, archived)
# Is she related to Youtube sensation 'Keyboard Smashy'?
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:40, archived)
# not that i know of
fuck it, i'm going to bed, it's warmer there.
g'night all
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:42, archived)
# puke?
I thought I'd pretty much covered every base here.
So, do you tell your husband 'yeah, be there in a bit... just want to do a bit more work'
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:30, archived)
# as i always say
i've had 4 husbands, but none of the fuckers were mine
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:36, archived)
# Just because I'm not posting, doesn't mean I'm not lurking.
I'm pretty sure you said you shared an office with your husband....
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:41, archived)
# not me
don't work, not married
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:43, archived)
# oh
so who the hell am I thinking of...
Sorry for the confusion.
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:45, archived)
# that were wuffle bunny
the other day
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 9:18, archived)
# I actually got my mum something this year...
yay working...

ironically enough, considering our past relationship, the present in question is a peace lilly.

it's the small things that make life worth while.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:22, archived)
# If I tried to present this thoughtful masterpiece to my Mum,
she'd kick my fucking teeth in.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:29, archived)
# I'm hoping that doesn't happen here.
I've made this on behalf of my 9 month old daughter, and she's only got two and a half teeth to get kicked in.
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:33, archived)
# Sounds like quite a swift job.
Barely worth the call-out fee, really. You might be better off doing it yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:34, archived)
# ahaha
I can see it now:
'what the hell happened to our baby's teeth?'
'Oh, I kicked them in because someone from the interweb told me to. Sorry, did the screaming wake you?'
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:38, archived)
# Yeah, that's a fairly typical Sunday morning scene round these parts.
*EDIT*: But here's a tip: you can avoid detection by refraining from screaming while you carry out the job.

(Apologies for forgetting to mention the edit contemporaneously)
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:42, archived)
# pfft
nice edit
edit: the apposite use of the word refraining is what really made it for me
further edit: contemporaneously - one of my favourite words, but so few opportunities to use it, well done
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:46, archived)
# WORDS BLOOMING WELL ROCK
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:54, archived)
# I think my daughter must be psychic
no sooner was I talking about her than she woke up with a shitty nappy.
spooky or what?
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:57, archived)
# Wayne Rooney reckons his baby is already an Everton fan.
But babies shitting themselves is not, in my opinion, spooky.
Especially not if dad's taking a run-up with his steel-toecapped boots on.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:01, archived)
# she doesn't usually shit during the night
but then I'm not usually contemplating kicking her teeth in on her mother's behalf
I hope this isn't being monitored by the anti-bullying helpline
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:07, archived)
# Official humourlessness is bloody horrible.
Just make one "off-colour" remark at the wrong time... brrr.

*POST-CONTEMPORANEOUS EDIT*: Kicking babies' teeth in would be bad and wrong, I'd say. Just in case there's any doubt out there.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:10, archived)
# Glad we got that cleared up
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:22, archived)
# and I almost believed in you.
Fucking sell out.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:26, archived)
# Well, y'know. There's an election coming up.
One must compromise. Principles aren't everything.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:32, archived)
# you must know that famous saying
if you want to win the public vote
then kick that baby in the scrote.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:36, archived)
# My baby's teeth aren't in her scrote.
She doesn't have a scrote.
Should I take her to the doctor?
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:40, archived)
# After you've kicked her fucking teef in, yeah.
Otherwise, you can probably rest assured she's a girl and leave it at that.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:47, archived)
# btw
If anyone does use this, can you gaz me so that I know?
cheers
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:31, archived)
# I'm gonna use it, you betcha.
Kittens are always FTW with my spousal unit.
(I helped save b3ta! HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:54, archived)
# well that's made my day
cheers
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:58, archived)
# : D great
I'm going to dream about that now : D
YES!
(I helped save b3ta! --- ---, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:27, archived)