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This is a link post Member Of B3ta Jailed
And there's some backstory to this.

Back in May another QOTW regular gazzed me and said he had some concerns about another B3tard, Edmund, (but who now goes by the name Ed's Meds.) The B3tard who contacted me had done a bit of digging and had figured out who Ed really was. He was a serial stalker, alleged bigamist and fantasist who goes by the name Craig Alexander (or sometimes Colclough). He was getting worried about Ed's behaviour in off-topic. He seemed to be continually trying to chat up anyone vaguely female. Well, I looked into the background of this chap and was concerned enough to alert one of the mods. I also gazzed a few of the girls I know from QOTW and asked them if Ed had been gazzing them. Almost all of them had been gazzed by him at one time or another.

Anyways, I decided that the best thing to do would be to confront Ed and tell him that we knew who he was and warn him to stop stalking the ladies. A few gazzes went back and forth between us and, although he denied some of the press stories about himself were true, he admitted there was some truth to some of them. So he deleted a few of his posts containing some of his more outrageous lies and agreed not to hit on the girls.

After that, I forgot all about him until now when a post on Scary Ducks blog led me to that Daily Fail article. But what I didn't know was that this bloke had been trying to pass himself off on as a doctor in the comments section of Scary's blog!

Ah well. It's a funny old world.

Cheers

Legless Edit: I've got to be fair and tell you that the initial sleuthing wasn't done by me but was the work of two of the QOTW regulars.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 7:51, Reply)
This is a normal post Wow, What a cunt.
Good fella, you are becoming quite the detective.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 7:59, Reply)
This is a normal post You couldn't make it up

(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 8:02, Reply)
This is a normal post This Was One Of My Gazzes To Him
I've been aware of who you are and what you've done for some time now. I know quite a few of your aliases (DS09, a couple from the Prague ex-pat notice board, Chasingtheaurora, Craig Alexander - even got his CV) But I believe that everyone should be given a chance.

As long as you don't start hitting on the girls here, or telling outrageous lies then I'll keep my nose out of it.

You don't have a phd.
You were never an officer of any rank
You didn't play rugby for Scotland
and you certainly have never piloted a plane anywhere.

You did marry Gerogina Miles bigamously and you are a serial Walter Mitty.

But, as long as you don't do anything to hurt or deceive anyone on B3ta then I won't out you.

B3ta can be good to you. There's no need to pretend to be who you're not on here.

But I'm serious about you behaving yourself. Step out of line and I'll be down on you like a ton of bricks...

Cheers
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 8:04, Reply)
This is a normal post OH LORD!
I'm not an internet woman, but my cyber thighs are practically dripping for you now.
Oh Lordy... Lordy help me.

I've blown cyber yellowheads. I'm so excited at your manliness.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 16:20, Reply)
This is a normal post CYBER GEORDIE FIGHT
I'll make a ring of Honda Accords and we can see who can eat a family bucket in the fastest time to see whose the winner.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 16:25, Reply)
This is a normal post I think the winner is the one to nab the biggest female.
It's like fishing but with chicken.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 16:26, Reply)
This is a normal post Anyone else enjoying the irony of Legless telling anyone to stop telling 'outrageous lies'?

(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 16:26, Reply)
This is a normal post I'm more worried by the women who'll tell you he was Gazzing THEM.
Who's the internet bother-er NOW?
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 16:27, Reply)
This is a normal post He must be ruing the day he ever crossed you or the women of b3ta.

(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 16:42, Reply)
This is a normal post FUCK YES

(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 21:28, Reply)
This is a normal post i was expecting you to say it was that dickhead from the other day.
I thought roy.batty might have finally cracked.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 8:02, Reply)
This is a normal post Careful now,
I hear if you write his name three times he appears behind you.


(probably screaming 'RACIST!' at you).
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 8:35, Reply)
This is a normal post I think the ladies of b3ta are probably
cynical enough to have worked him out eventually anyway.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 8:17, Reply)
This is a normal post Nice one Legless
Our army pals on the ARRSE forum are all over this one as well. If there's one thing they hate, it's a Walt.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 8:18, Reply)
This is a normal post Oooh!
I'm a member of ARRSE - must nip over and see what they're up to.

Cheers
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 8:19, Reply)
This is a normal post Funnily enough...
...when we approached Take A Break magazine (sole motivation = ), they didn't want to know.

On reflection, it might have been sub judice at the time.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 8:30, Reply)
This is a normal post Try Again
Now that he's been banged up they might be interested. You could entitle it...

There But for The Grace Of God...

And imply that your friend nearly married him as well

Cheers
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 8:41, Reply)
This is a normal post Wheels are already in motion
If TaB and the Daily Mail fall over, there's always the Ealing Times.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 8:46, Reply)
This is a normal post Pick Me Up magazine!
Go for summat real classy!


Also, well done both of you for. The Mayor no longer wants my ass, your hunch was right! Do you want your badges back?
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 9:25, Reply)
This is a normal post Does that mean...
...I get to shoot people again?

Yeeee-HA!
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 9:34, Reply)
This is a normal post Why The Ealing Times
Just wondering as i live there and i don't read it. Is it renound for these types fo stories
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 10:51, Reply)
This is a normal post One of his stalkees
is from Hanwell.

They would have eaten him of breakfast.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 12:45, Reply)
This is a normal post Hehehehehe..
Not just breakfast, but lunch, tea and dinner as well. You don't let an arsetard like that get off lightly, now do you?

I wonder if I should try emailing him again?
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 12:56, Reply)
This is a normal post Hold On..
Misty from Mr Ducks blog?

I never knew you were a B3tard....


Cheers
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 13:31, Reply)
This is a normal post
Damn, my secret's out...

Yep. I have been known to lurk here on occasion.

;o)
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 13:43, Reply)
This is a normal post You could *try* emailing him
But you'll have to wait a bit for a reply
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 13:52, Reply)
This is a normal post
You sure?

Prisons have email access these days, but only if you pretend to be a doctor or a warden or something.

Oh...
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 14:26, Reply)
This is a normal post UK prisons don't have warders
They are all Governors.

And their email system is shite :)
(, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 9:44, Reply)
This is a normal post Jesus!! Nice work
What a nutter
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 8:33, Reply)
This is a normal post blimey o.O
funny that he'd claim to be a psychiatrist when it seems he really bloody needs one himself
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 8:42, Reply)
This is a normal post Crikey
Internet detective skills + 1

Well played
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 8:47, Reply)
This is a normal post fucking hell
what a nutcase.

good work sherlock!
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 8:48, Reply)
This is a normal post It has to be said,
that there is some impressive lying.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 9:00, Reply)
This is a normal post Bloody hell...

(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 9:02, Reply)
This is a normal post Takes all sorts, I suppose.

(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 9:04, Reply)
This is a normal post Haha, fuck. I knew he'd end up somewhere like that.

(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 9:09, Reply)
This is a normal post It's not just the big lies...
it's the little ones that prove what a compulsive liar he was.

In one of his QOTW answers he says he was a normal wimpy kid (apart from not wearing glasses). So do you think he shopped the glasses into the photos in the press story?

My very intelligent and erudite grandfather (who sadly passed away this year) once told me "Never tell a lie, it means you never have to remember what you've said"

Very wise words as it's always the little ones that catch you out in the end.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 9:27, Reply)
This is a normal post What an Arsepoet.

(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 9:21, Reply)
This is a normal post This is my favourite part:
"What the court did not hear was that 'Major' Colclough......... once briefly obtained a job at a university in Prague by claiming to be a professor and friend of Stephen Hawking."

Utter fucking nutter. He gazzed pictures of his cock to many female b3tans on QOTW/OT. I'd like to know how he's wriggled out of the bigamy charges?
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 9:38, Reply)
This is a normal post Mental
He gazzed me a couple of times asking if I wanted to go for a drink but the messages were so inconsequential that I actually had to check before I realised. Quite glad to have avoided the cock pictures.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 9:59, Reply)
This is a normal post Lucky escape!

(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 10:15, Reply)
This is a normal post
I'm very pleased he never emailed me any photos of his cock.

All I got were his sob stories about how difficult and sad it was to be a doctor (At Addenbrook's) sometimes, and how he'd like to show me his family estate in Scotland, which he told me was huge.

Come to think about it, maybe 'family estate' was a euphemism for his cock...?
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 14:54, Reply)
This is a normal post *shudders*
Yep, I reckon it was a euphemism ;o)
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 16:15, Reply)
This is a normal post Eeek!
Thanks gods I didn't ask for a photo as proof then!

*shudders as well*
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 17:46, Reply)
This is a normal post the scrapes b3tards get themselves into
isn't there a b3tard in a Congolese jail at the moment?
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 9:43, Reply)
This is a normal post No, that was me
I got out though.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 10:56, Reply)
This is a normal post haha
well done though
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 11:06, Reply)
This is a normal post fucking hell
I think I might have gone to school with him
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 9:46, Reply)
This is a normal post I had no idea QOTW was taken so seriously
what a tosser though
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 9:47, Reply)
This is a normal post Shhhh
its a secret. QOTW is has its own little part of b3ta. Far out of reach of any other b3tan. It is also a cool place to hang out. Full of fluffeh.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 10:05, Reply)
This is a normal post I initially thought this post was about you
I read the title as "Member Of B3ta Jahled".
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 10:47, Reply)
This is a normal post ^
same here
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 10:54, Reply)
This is a normal post he is a sad case
he gazzed me a few times after he read my whole dubai capers - his slant was he wanted to hire me to 're-position' his image with the poor doctor woman he married.

i got sent a rambling powerpoint 'brief' detailing 'lies told by him' and 'lies he was accused of' that he wanted me to somehow address.

he is clearly troubled but his problems have spilled over into others lives causing them much pain and distress

i feel sorry for him and those he has hurt
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 11:27, Reply)
This is a normal post wow, that's weird
I was reading this story yesterday (in the Eeenin Stannard (sic) I think). l33t d3t3ct1ve 5k1ll5 there, legless and the other QOTWers involved. nice one.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 11:58, Reply)
This is a normal post I'm generaly give people the benefit of the doubt though that does cross over into down right gullibality
..meaning a former friend liked to prank me alot, once crossing the line completly. Luckily a fat male northern hairy student isn't the primary target for these types, so I should be safe. A friend of my aunts was one of those women who got taken for a ride by that bloke pretending to be a Rockafella, I think she lost alot of money, but he got caught before he managed to marry her. Must be absolutly devestating for some one in that possition.

BTW isn't QOTW a hotbed of fantasy anyway though? Theres no way pooflake and spankyhanky could have all those stories and not be on some sort of register? as enjoyable as they are...
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 12:28, Reply)
This is a normal post It's entertainment
Who gives a fuck if it's true? I don't get why some people take it so seriously. I'm not aiming this at you btw...
(, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 4:59, Reply)
This is a normal post I remember "ed's meds"..
He was a creep, from day one. Not sure how much psychiatric care will help him. There's being a bit mental and there's just being a creepy bastard - get the impression he made up a lot of mental issues to gain attention. I knew he wasn't a pilot as I associate with a few pilots and his claims were just absurd - even to me with my second-hand knowledge. It was just a matter of time before he was outed, but well done to those involved.

Honesty is nearly always the best policy.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 12:43, Reply)
This is a normal post 'Doctor' Craig
This arse also hung around on my blog at the same time as he was playing over at Scary's.
Oh what fun I had winding him up, and I've still got his emails he sent while trying to impress me with his total bullshit, sorry, claims of Family Estate and doctoring at Addenbrook's...
I've still got the emails somewhere. Maybe I should dig them out and have a larf...
Oh, and if anyone wants to read some more about him, clicky here.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 12:50, Reply)
This is a normal post This....
...courtesy of Misty69 is a real gem (Check out the comments)
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 13:56, Reply)
This is a normal post You're not one of those porty birds with hairy arms that loved the attention are you?

(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 16:25, Reply)
This is a normal post Jam Monster Geordie:
I most certainly am not!

*cough*

And neither did I enjoy the attention, I simply had a great deal of fun winding him up and comparing comments with Scaryduck.

Ah, happy days.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 17:24, Reply)
This is a normal post OMFG!
we have an off topic section?
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 13:06, Reply)
This is a normal post ALRIGHT.
Who the HELL do I start making fun of here first?

You've got the "fantasist" on QOTW.
The Squadron of internet knights, doing their best to protect the women.
The user gazzing all the women to ask if they're OK.
The term "Fail".


Spotty internet culture such as this is exactly the kind of thing I'm going to stamp out.
*JMG Outro Music*
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 16:11, Reply)
This is a normal post Hello person who's false sense of superiority I find grating..
You seem to be interested in the workings and psychology of computer mediated communication.

Check out anything written by this bloke www.joinson.com/ Very interesting stuff if thats your bag, and maybe you'll get some intelectual theory to back your self up when trying to lord it up over us "fat spotty internet failures" or what ever it is you call anyone on b3ta who isnt you.. (genuinly though I recomend reading some of his stuff, you may get a kick out of it)

Also I don't particularly like you, you certainly don't like me by virtue of me being on b3ta, but if you wan't to read my shitty year one essay which has b3ta as a case study (I say shitty, it got a high 2:1), let me know! You may get a kick out of it.

*awaits nasty comments
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 17:12, Reply)
This is a normal post I don't hate everyone on here.
I'm usually CORRECT about everybody on here, but it's far a case from me hating you all.
For example I'm treated as a champion for the most part.

Champion of the people.
(, Wed 14 Oct 2009, 1:53, Reply)
This is a normal post What was he jailed for?
Is being a creepy weirdo a crime?
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 16:32, Reply)
This is a normal post Technically this has come via QOTW.
He could be in a cyber-secure prison with lasers and ninjas and Hondas.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 16:35, Reply)
This is a normal post He impersonated a doctor...
...and in treating someone's injuries, apparently made it an awful lot worse.

Therefore:

1) Impersonating a Doctor
2) Assault
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 20:12, Reply)
This is a normal post
He was impersonating a doctor way back in 2006.

I'm amazed that no-one twigged on that he was a fake sooner, especially the TA lot who I think are supposed to check people's ID and credentials etc.
(, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 21:00, Reply)