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What Chopping Board? I made this!
My review of a chopping board.

(Pig Face Turnip I know a little German. He's over there., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 9:31, Share, Reply)

Excellent review
I thought the yellow ones were for cheese and bread.
(Sherbs, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 9:38, Share, Reply)

It's this sort of confusion that leads to cross contamination. Simple solution = audio alerts (apparently this is cost prohibitive.)
(Pig Face Turnip I know a little German. He's over there., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 9:40, Share, Reply)

i simplydo not bellieve this excuse
these compnents are very cheap to source from china. my suggestion - a meat detector in the veggie board. if it detects meat on the board it triggers a blood-curdling horrific ear-splitting scream

that will solve the problem.

similarly a veg detector could be pladced in the meat board which triggers a bellowed "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU"
(

crab_bloke), Tue 30 Jul 2013, 9:45, Share, Reply)

Ha! However its their dish washer friendliness (hi dishwasher, how are you) they say complicates an audio early warning system.
(Pig Face Turnip I know a little German. He's over there., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 9:49, Share, Reply)

I still think there is room for a detachable and/or waterproof digital alarm clock.

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mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 9:55, Share, Reply)

i never put my wooden board inthe dishwasher
i just wash it down gently in the sink. this does not adversely effect my quality of life. what i this obession with dish washing everything? would you out your children or a kitten in the dishwasher? NO!
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crab_bloke), Tue 30 Jul 2013, 10:02, Share, Reply)

I might put a kitten in there in the name of science.

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Pig Bodine., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 10:30, Share, Reply)

If I Stallion_Explosion (formerly known as crab_bloke) told you to throw your kitten in a dishwasher off a cliff would you do it?!

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Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:00, Share, Reply)

If it was in the name of science or would make me more popular with the bigger boys.

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Pig Bodine., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:02, Share, Reply)

This is better than everything on telly.

(pissflaps. FSPW, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 9:41, Share, Reply)

Its talk like that, that will land you another business meeting.
(Pig Face Turnip I know a little German. He's over there., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 9:44, Share, Reply)

I think you're confusing him with me.
Unless you've been having business meetings behind my back!?

I thought I was your only one?
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mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 9:53, Share, Reply)

I've always considered you to be the same business entity: Mr P1ss and Mr sh1t.
(Pig Face Turnip I know a little German. He's over there., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 9:58, Share, Reply)

Eh? I never done nothing.

(pissflaps. FSPW, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 10:01, Share, Reply)

But do you want to do something?
(Pig Face Turnip I know a little German. He's over there., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 10:03, Share, Reply)

yes, not at all.

(pissflaps. FSPW, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 10:45, Share, Reply)

i've got a lovely chopping board
cut from a log. i really love it. but my wife gets upset with me using it for meats and chickens because she feels there is a risk of cross contamination. i exepct calm contamination would be fine!

she has suggested we get another chopping board for meats. i therefore thought this review could be very helpful in my current situation going foward.

however, i feel the "cutting mat" description here is apt. my chopping board is a good 2 inches thick, solid wood. i feel if i were to try using such a thin mat at this stage in my chopping career i would find the experience most displeasurable! colour-coded or not, i feel a man in my position simply needs a more robust board

so in summary thankyou for your efforts, but this is not the product for me!
(

crab_bloke), Tue 30 Jul 2013, 9:43, Share, Reply)

As the old saying goes: Once you've chopped on wood, you never go plastic.
(Pig Face Turnip I know a little German. He's over there., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 9:46, Share, Reply)

chopping on wood
is ever so good
chopping on plastic
is less than fantastic

that's my mantra. i chant it to myself as i chop, and also when i make love
(

crab_bloke), Tue 30 Jul 2013, 10:00, Share, Reply)

chopping on the back of a vagrant
is ever so fragrant
(

Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:01, Share, Reply)

For some reason I read "vagrant" as "vagina"

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Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:47, Share, Reply)

Shagging on wood is ever so splintery
Shagging on plastic is heading for injury
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tickle I was away, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 14:00, Share, Reply)

You have just given me an amazing idea.
So you have a 2 inch thick chopping board.

But you need additional boards to avoid cross contamination.

Then what about a solid wood chopping cube!
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mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 9:59, Share, Reply)

Oh that's good, very good!

(pissflaps. FSPW, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 10:02, Share, Reply)

i think you may have cracked it sir!
you will be rich beyong your wildest dreams! i will be first in line for your chopping cube! i would like one in fine oiled english oak, approximately 18 inches on a side (and yes, i used inches! fine english oak should bemeasured in inches! there! i said it! arrest me if you must, i will make no apologies!)
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crab_bloke), Tue 30 Jul 2013, 10:05, Share, Reply)

That's a great idea of ours. Maybe we should get it drawn up and sent off?
(Pig Face Turnip I know a little German. He's over there., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 10:09, Share, Reply)

The Solid Wood 4-corner Simultaneous 4-Day Chopping Cube?
There's a website in there somewhere...
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chthonic, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 10:42, Share, Reply)

I think I saw a Columbo episode once on this theme -
The storyline revolved around around an unhappy husband who murdered his wife by buying her a single chopping board and then waited for cross-contamination to get her.
He escaped poisoning by eating only whole food items that didn't require chopping (bananas and such). Yeah I'm pretty much sure that's how it went.
(dirk speedrift Sit doon, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 10:06, Share, Reply)

fucks sake, man.
*SPOILER ALERT*
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feckler https://twitter.com/LeonardEctric1, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 10:28, Share, Reply)

I have that t-shirt
If you need any help reviewing it, let me know
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Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 10:57, Share, Reply)

Have you photographic proof?
(Pig Face Turnip I know a little German. He's over there., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:10, Share, Reply)

Yes

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Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:22, Share, Reply)

I throw all my food into the air
and cut it in the open air like dog-tanian cutting an apple... stops all cross contamination problems.
(DefyingDarwin Old, untalented and white,, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:35, Share, Reply)

I want
to try an organism on the chopping board. Can you ask them if I should use the meat one?
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moogy boobles, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:46, Share, Reply)

They should make a chopping board out of meat, then cross contamination wouldn't be an issue.

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skeltonator Needs some new daps., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 19:06, Share, Reply)

God the world of kitchenware is a fucking minefield.

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gingerfreak Why? Why not., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 20:50, Share, Reply)

At 1 minute 40 seconds it is suggested that you can put dog food UNDER the mat.
I feel that this may be incorrect.
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Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 19:34, Share, Reply)

love these :)

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Obz Click, ting, stamps, Sun 4 Aug 2013, 15:31, Share, Reply)