My ex was a bit fighty. Instead of using words to settle arguments, she would use violence. It started off with pushes, then slaps... It ended with a volley of punches at bed time (I was in pants and a tshirt). As I headed for the door, she grabbed my tshirt begging me not to go. Which I slipped out of leaving it in her hands. I drove from my old home of Bedford to my family home in Nottingham arriving at about 2 in the morning, in my pants with a black eye. 'Tell me in the morning' my mum said.
(Fridgy, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:57, 4 replies)

I particularly liked the part
where she gave you a black eye for no very good reason whatsoever, and got away with it entirely by claiming self defense, leaving everyone believing you to be the bastard. Well, okay, that was me, not you. but still. Violent girlfriends are appalling. Hope you left her then.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:32, closed)

Pwnt.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 19:40, closed)

Dare I ask
where you kept your car keys?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:03, closed)

Your mum sounds cool
perhaps you should ask her out?
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 13:31, closed)