When I was 14 or so
I went out with a girl for about a month. One day she said to me, "Do you want to come babysitting with me?"
An odd request, and my naive mind didn't join the dots, but I said "Sure, why not?"

"I need to go see if it's ok". So I went with her to the house to meet her employers so she could ask if I was allowed to babysit with her. Now, either they were as naive as I was, saw me as a nice innocent sort of a guy, or didn't care that we might play hide the purple parsnip providing their daughter didn't see.

Later that week, I met her near the house and we went to sit on babies. As we arrived and the parents were going out of the door it suddenly dawned on me the possibilities of (technically) being alone in a house with each other. This was a gazillion times more appealing than just wandering the streets of the estate of an evening in November. I told myself that I was going to go home that evening with a massive smile on my face.

Five minutes after the parents had left, I'm practically rubbing my hands in anticipation when there was a voice from upstairs.
"Can I come downstairs now mum and dad have gone out?" it said
"Yeah ok," said my girlfriend.
"You're going to let her get out of bed and come downstairs???" I ejaculated.
"Yeah, I always put her back in bed before the parents get home anyway" she completely misinterpreted, absolutely oblivious to the abject disappointment on my face.

So absolutely fuck all happened, the little girl fell asleep on the sofa behind my girlfriend who was lying down watching Moonlighting or some other such garbage that was less important to me than what was in her knickers.

I finally left at about 9:15pm and moped all the way home. That night, I did conjure a rather explicit 'what if' scenario which kept me going every night afterwards for a good few weeks at least, so every cloud and that.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 15:18, 7 replies)

Sorry, I hope this isn't wrong... But...
Did this "What if..." scenario involve:
a) your GF?
b) the babysittee?
c) both of the above?
or
d) a longer scenario wherein was involved (c) and the mother of the babysittee?

I've come over all inappropriate...
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 15:55, closed)

Who's Inappropriate?

(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 16:33, closed)

shame!
Just one strategically-placed full-stop away from spluffing your pants. Ah, well.
(SimianKid internet faffer, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 16:50, closed)

Just realised...
"You're going to let her get out of bed and come downstairs???" I ejaculated.

Hnur, hnur!
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 17:23, closed)

Also, I cry SHENNANIGANS!!!
No way, at 14, were you able to own a Moped, let alone go home on it.

Was it a Honda Vision?
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 17:24, closed)

I think he means he sulked all the way home.
As would I if I had been in a similar situation.
( Fat Fred too weird to live, too rare to die, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:31, closed)

You get a click
just for your choice of exclamation verb.

(Conan Doyle uses the same construction in one of the Sherlock Holmes stories, I forget which one.)
( Sonic the Hedgetrimmer doesn't care what you think, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 14:59, closed)