Jim gets his red wings.
It was a sultry summer, I was dating the village bike. She was up for it pretty much non-stop. We did it everywhere, her bed, her parents bed, the begonia bed at the front of her house, and on the bonnet of the parson's mini metro (her being of not unsizable girth this last managed to seriously damage his suspension).

One afternoon as I sneaked off from my job at the spam packing factory, we met up to indulge in a little cunnilingus in the back of her car.

I went down, yodelling in the fishy forest, but had no idea it was closed for redecoration.

I came up and caught sight of myself in the rear view mirror, looking for all the world like one of the ribena men.

Not only that, but she apparently had a tendancy towards heavy menstruation, and the residue on her clothes and mine appeared to have what looked like small lumps of liver in.

Reminded me of the Perl Jam song "Even flow"
(Vic Flange, Mon 11 Aug 2008, 14:43, 7 replies)

Ewwww
"Crimson Tide" was on last night
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 11 Aug 2008, 14:47, closed)

Answer me this
How did you resist a "spam packing" joke?
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 11 Aug 2008, 14:48, closed)

Did she
not think to mention this?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 11 Aug 2008, 16:51, closed)

UGH
Gross, but have a click for all the shiney metaphors.
(BrainSurgerysFun, Mon 11 Aug 2008, 20:25, closed)

Hurrrgh...
I'm glad I had dinner before reading that. The paragraph with the liver metaphor nearly redecorated my keyboard.
(Helixdaunting, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 8:14, closed)

Rant!
Having had a little time on my hands, I noticed a fair few stories about men ending up with clownface after encountering a leaking lady.

Now, I know that accidents DO happen. But not that many!!! I'm not going to go into detail but alot of these dirty birds must have known they were on their period and just didn't say anything which is disgraceful!!!

I think I'm done now.

G
(GirlOfTheWorld, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:25, closed)

*bokes*
Oh Lunar James, with this tale of menstrual woe, you are really spoiling us
( Droog is too orangey for crows, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 11:18, closed)