So anyway...
One night, as I do EVERY NIGHT, I got OFF MY HEAD on MASSIVE OSTRICHES(they're like Doves, only for REAL men). I dind't do anything that due to me spending all night beating up ninja robot squaddies and then inserting my bacon hypodermic into them to giving infusions of organic mayonnaise to their DRIPPING supermodel girlfriends.

However.

Next morning.

I felt horrid.

So I jumped in the Accord and drove down the shop, donutting the car all the way and flicking V's at traffic coppers. They let me do this as I chainsawed a pimp to death for them once. They even kept the story out of the papers.

At the supermarket, in the booze-and-pot-noodle aisle(they have one at my supermarket because I'm THAT important in my town) some woman was there with a child, despite the fact that under-18's are banned by law from shops selling booze. So what was to happen next was clearly ALL HER OWN FAULT.

They were singing 'Old MacDonald'.

I gave them a menacing glower. That normally makes SAS men shit themselves, but they apparently didn't see it.

So, I waited until her back was turned and BROKE THE CHILDS ARM OVER MY KNEE. He totally deserved it. He was singing 'with a moo-moo here' too loud and a bit flat.

But the SELFISH QUEEN OF THE HARPIES had noticed and said that I wasn't allowed to do that. Needless to say, I had the last laugh though.

I injected her with a syringe full of MASSIVE DRUGS an waited for her to pass out.
THEN I KICKED HER IN THE RIBS and left.

It was only when I got home that I remembered that I'd forgotten to buy bread. Fuck's sake.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 24 Mar 2013, 23:47, 19 replies)

You twat.
How could you forget the bread?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 24 Mar 2013, 23:56, closed)

Worth thing I've ever done.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 0:02, closed)

That's a terrible lisp you have.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 0:05, closed)

Stay about from my bins.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 8:08, closed)

STh sth
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 25 Mar 2013, 19:34, closed)

Do you claim others work as your own in your job as well?

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 1:05, closed)

Wasn't funny the first

b3ta.com/questions/randomactsofevil/post1534874

or second

b3ta.com/questions/twattery/post1591589

and now third time.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:16, closed)

/qotw has become an Ouroboros.
:/
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 15:41, closed)

JMG repeats himself.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 18:31, closed)

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 26 Mar 2013, 7:37, closed)

Yeah, that.
Have a biscuit.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 8:09, closed)

No prize?

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 26 Mar 2013, 8:24, closed)

On the main board as well?
Really?

Wow.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 9:15, closed)

Gotta cover all my bases.
Actually the number of times I've used b3ta as an image host - I thought the least I could do was post an image in the correct forum.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 26 Mar 2013, 9:35, closed)

I actually quite like that.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 9:50, closed)

Oh. My goodness!
Um....


Cheers?
EDIT: Maybe you should give up posting your shit snarky comments to posts here and come up with something vaguely original. If it's a pic feel free to post it to /board.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 26 Mar 2013, 10:33, closed)

Something doesn't add up here...
Why would you be in the booze and pot noodle aisle if you wanted bread?
(Thor McLegend FUCK SHITPANTS PAC MAN, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:54, closed)

I'D FUCKING FORGOTTEN, ALRIGHT

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 15:37, closed)

Truly, the most amusing thing about this post
is imagining Beaker from the Muppets sitting up in bed, laptop on his lap, while Ma Gorg from Fraggle Rock lurks next to him, encouraging him to post another zinger.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 21:31, closed)