Minimally on-topic
Apparently Maria Shriver is not above being molested by the press.

On Tuesday, Schwarzenegger sent a Twitter message to TMZ editor Harvey Levin: "Thanks for bringing her violations to my attention. There's going to be swift action." What that action might entail was not specified.

Somehow this gives me the giggles. The Terminator promising swift action brings a lot of odd images to mind.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:35, Reply)

After reading this
I left my office and overheard some student saying that his Dad punched Paul McCartney. Unfortunately soon afterwards he corrected himself and said that it had been Paul McCartney who punched his Dad.
(ignoramusaurus, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:10, 1 reply)

A few stories...
I've got a few minor celeb meetings, some mine, some not..

I used to work at the Barbican Centre in London and they were putting on an incredibly pretentious (shurely shome mishtake?) night of 'interpretive dance' soundtracked by the drummer from radiohead. My then housemate Ceris got chatting in the lift to some dude who asked her where she was going and she said, oh some poncey night from the radiohead guy. later on she point him out, and of course it was the bald drummer.

I met King Monkey aka Ian Brown at Glasto by Strummerville once. I went to shake his hand and the weirdo offered me a finger. So i shook his finger. Very odd. He's also really short and ugly with a mahoosive heid

I also met Peter Beardsley randomly at Eurodisney. He is also short and ugly with a massive heid

I met Jarvis Cocker at the bar at the barfly in camden watching a really awful band. I said hello, he ignored me.

My girlfriend had the displeasure of working with Marti Pellow from wet wet wet. Absolute cnart of the highest persuasion. insisted on standing apart from the rest of his band. this was at a charity event too.

Hmm think that's all for now- sorry for length etc..
(chimpo2k, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:03, 1 reply)

Boooooooogus!
Background: my father is friends with a certain Mr F. Ford Coppola, and occasionally stays with him at his place in New Mexico if he's passing through. This took place many years ago, but I can still remember it.

*~~~~~~~~~wavy lines~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Emperor Snr: Hello Empressette, I am back from my work in the mighty US of A, and I have brought you a present!
Empressette: Yaaaaay! *thinks: a mylittlepony? A barbie? Some marshmallow in a jar?!?!?!*
Emperor Snr: *gives me a picture of some bearded guy talking to an ugly dead-looking alien with SHARP POINTY TEETH. And some bugger's written all over it.* (It took me a while to realise that this was a signed photo of Mr F. Ford Coppola talking to a Mr. G Oldman on the set of "Dracula").
Empressette: yaaaaay? Erm, thanks Papa! How was your trip to Mexico?
Emperor Snr: Nice, thank you. I had a terrible 3 days driving though. Mr. F Ford Coppola had a young friend staying with him when I was there, who asked if he could grab a lift with me on the way to Mexico.
Empressette: Who?
Emperor Snr: *ignoring me* 3 days I had to spend with him in that car, 3 days with the most idiotic man on earth! He says he was an actor, but I reckon he was just plain retarded.
Empressette: Why? And who was he?
Emperor Snr: He kept banging on about how aliens populated the earth and flew in their mystical pyramid-shaped spaceships around the earth, forming colonies in Egypt, Mexico, South America, Cambodia etc. The boy hadn't a bloody clue. God he was dull as shit. I don't understand how the hell anyone decided that making him the lead actor in a film was a good idea!
Empressette: WHO WAS HE?
Emperor Snr: Oh, just some pillock I've never heard of. Stupid name, too. Kee-aaah-oh Steves or something.
Empressette: *...*

Yup, my father had spent quality time with Keanu Reeves, just after Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure came out in the UK. I dragged him to see the film, where he said "yup, that's the chap. He's not too bad at playing a gormless twerp, is he? I suppose it comes naturally".
The worst thing: he thought about getting me his autograph, on the offchance that he was an actor I might have heard of, but decided not to on the grounds that I wouldn't want the autograph of an alien-loving pillock. Thanks, Papa.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 13:46, 2 replies)

My brother (who is not famous)
He's met and had a good chat with the following:

-Vivienne Westwood (who is technically his boss so probably not that far-fetched)
-The Klaxons
-The bassist from the Kaiser Chiefs

He has also:

-Convinced Simon Amstell he was in a band (having told the doorman he was Jack Penate to get into the club)
-Spend a pleasant evening in the Dubai desert with Bradley Walsh and some drunken Japanese businessmen
-Punched the kid who plays Goyle in the Harry Potter movies to stop him beating up his mate
-Heckled Bobby Davro at a panto, aged 10

I once got barged past by Richard Ayodae (IT Crowd, Mighty Boosh, Garth Marenghi's Dark Place). That was probably the rudest thing a "famous" person has done to me, which just goes to show that a) I don't meet many and b) I obviously don't move in the same circles as my little bro.

I also feel a bit disappointed that Terry Pratchett wasn't rude to me when I met him at a book signing...
(claireyfairy There's a smell in here that will outlast religion, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:47, Reply)

I thought I'd save this until last
As a certain b3tan (hi from WAK01 Musuko!) would probably get a little *ahem* antsy.

An ex-colleague of mine once got a little ruder with a celebrity than most people would like to, especially this guy.

Full story here.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:31, 2 replies)

I met former Surrey and England cricketer Ben Hollioake in 1996
when the Surrey team came to visit the new indoor cricket facilities at my then school.

It was my task to show them from the car park to the entrance. When he saw me waiting patiently for the players to arrive he sprinted towards me in a playful 'i'm gonna rugby tackle you' manner. Of course he didnt rugby tackle me but I told him to slow down.

He should have taken my advice
news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/1889065.stm
(Eggstrovert isnt patronising you...honest..., Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:09, Reply)

If you want a laugh
And you live near Chorlton, Manchester. Promise a mate (not from the area) that the place is so jam packed with famousians, that you can find one in 15 minutes. When he doesnt believe you, and offers cash, head immediately to the Lead Station in Chorlton during drinking hours. I promise you that Badly Sung Song or Damon Gough will be sat outside holding court and a pint.

(Although I quite like 'about a boy')
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 12:01, 1 reply)

Awkward
Every morning walking to the station, I pass Mani (Stone Roses, Primal Scream) walking his dog in Heaton Moor. I've probably passed him 100 times at the same place and time. Its getting to the point now where we give each other a little nod, you know, the slight jerking upwards of the head and an enigmatic smile.

The other day walking past the Town bar with my other half, my baby and another couple after leaving a christening, he was sitting outside with a pint. He caught my eye and 'recognised' me but obviously wasn't sure why and couldnt place me - like when you see a shopworker from a shop you frequent, I was out of context

. He shouted "a'ight mate" and i momentarily caught the glances of my friends going "ooh he knows Mani" and I just waved back as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "Come over 'ere an speak to Johnny, you know Johnny". My stomach turned a little as I thought of famous mancunian musician Johnny's and came up with Marr. However, unless Johnny Marr now looks like Bernard Mannings fatter and more unpleasant grandfather then it probably wasnt him. I made my excuses - "sorry mate cant hang about, later yeah?" I replied. "Yeah no worries mate see ya".

Although this week walking to work has been excruciatingly embarrassing as he's realised now that he only knows me from dog walking and actually doesnt know me at all and has now stopped giving me the nod.

One day, one day, I'll walk past him listening She Bangs The Drums and stop him, shaking his hand and thanking him for that bassline.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 11:58, 1 reply)

Steven Gerrard
Steven Gerrard once threatened to kill my Gran's dog as it barked at him (this was before he was a regular in the Liverpool first team).

Not even a Phil Collins CD in sight
(cadmium Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 11:56, Reply)

I tossed off in Anna Friel's face once
She was on TV, though.
( the_other_jeff_lebowski Croutons on my tits, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 11:40, Reply)

Very much related to the thread below this one
I'd like to invite you to contribute to this thread in Off Topic:

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post539830
( Noely Noel heil sig heil sig heil sig heil sig heil sig heil, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 10:15, Reply)