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This is a question Churches, temples and holy places

Tell us about the times you've been to a place of worship, and - this being b3ta - how you are now consigned to the everlasting fires of Hell.

(, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:50)
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Unwitting satanic imagery...
I say unwitting, it struck me about two seconds into my beloved aunts cremation that either someone had a seriously dark sense of humour or they were too devout to see the funny side of anything. You decide.

My Auntie Rosie was a lifelong keen churchgoer, though fortunately not the kind to force it on others as that would probably have caused a schism in the family. When she was 82 she developed stomach cancer and succumbed fairly quickly, and I found myself at a modern crematorium near Kings Lynn iirc. The coffin was placed on a freestanding brick plinth at the front of the room. I was puzzled as to how they were going to do the curtains and conveyor thing wherein the curtains part and the coffin and contents slide away serenely to meet their fiery doom as there were no curtains, and no conveyor, rollers or anything similar. The coffin and it's plinth were an island.
I began to get a bad feeling that something funny was going to happen and hoped that I'd be able to contain myself.

Sure enough, that point in the service arrived and the vicar pushed the button...
and my lovely old godfearing auntie descended vertically, slowly, down into the fire...
(, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 0:44, 5 replies)
I can't believe that someone made a crematorium that basically sends people to hell
*click*
(, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 4:16, closed)
I just remembered
a pub down the road from a crematorium not far from us, which offers 'the best post service dinners' including barbecue.
(, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 8:56, closed)
Usually the chapel where the service occurs
just has a hydrolic lift thingy that will lower the casket & thats it. Later they take it over to the ovens and do their thing. I'm sure some of the grave-diggers/cremationists will concur.
I can't see raising the casket up to the ceiling as an option really.
*Unless it was accompanied with some Wagner*
(, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 8:59, closed)
I have to agree.
The whole "press the button and send them into the fire" setup is a merely a device used to add tension in films.
(, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 10:25, closed)
If I depart to the strains of Wagner
I want Elmer Fudd over the top singing Kill the Wabbit.
(, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 11:32, closed)

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