Working in an old computer store once....
...we had work lockers just off the shop floor, which were behind a security door. A decent size for storing a rucksack and a coat (barely), but quite handy to have. Our boss had the master key for all of them just in case anything was required.

Anyhows one mid-day during a numpty's lunch-break (Ian the spanner) a deliveryman turns up with new stock, along with a magazine in his hand. "Have a look at this thing, had to deliver loads to that new club up the road" he says, passing us all a copy of some gay "cock"-mag, now with 100% more cock than normal. We all have a laugh, then suddenly the boss has a simple idea. He disappears out the back for a minute with the mag and returns empty handed. "Wait until Ian comes back" he chuckles.

So Ian trots back in with his headphones on, wonders back to the stock room and starts yapping. The boss initiates a quiet nod to us, and walks out the back past the lockers waiting. Ian in the meantime finishes his conversation and walks to his locker to put his headphones in. Boss happens to walk past Ian as the locker opens and out falls a gay mag, while the boss proceeds to shout "Oh you DIRTY FUCKER, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LIKED COCK, LOOK AT THAT URRRGHHH". While there were about 10 people in the store browsing a couple of feet away.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 18:32, 10 replies)

At which point you all said "why would we care whether he likes cock?" making your boss feel foolish and uncomfortable in front of the paying customers
because otherwise this story makes you sound like an unprofessional and infantile dick.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 19:49, closed)

Haha
let's make fun of the gay, cause he's different from us. Rite?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 10 Jul 2012, 20:25, closed)

Well, yeah.
Tears make an excellent lube.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 10 Jul 2012, 21:15, closed)

"Tears make an excellent lube."
i guess that you are in to skull buggery then?
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 22:11, closed)

Hold still while I squick you and you'll find out.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 11 Jul 2012, 3:15, closed)

Blood's better.

(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Tue 10 Jul 2012, 22:23, closed)

So, was this week's QOTW supposed to be about theft and workplace bullying?
It sounds like an abuse of power for the manager to open a locker without any good reason; an unnecessary intrusion into someone's personal property. If the manager has this little compunction about this, what's to stop him stealing people's property next? If he does start stealing, I'd expect the Theft Act 1968 to be useful here.

Also, the deliveryman seems to have stolen a magazine, which should have been reported to the relevant law enforcement agency. Someone who is entrusted as part of his job to deliver goods ashould not be "helping himself", and should be fired immediately. The theft itself would again appear to be a clear cut case covered by the Theft Act 1968.

Finally, what does the "gay cock" magazine have to do with anything? This sounds like sexual harassment in the workplace, covered under The Employment Equality (Sex Discrimination) Regulations 2005.

So, three crimes, no cunning plan?
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 3:11, closed)

Fucking hell
Sure, the OP is about a pretty peurile practical joke which at best should be stored in the 'You had to be there' file, but FFS You really felt compelled to write that reply?

I bet you're a barrel of laughs at your workplace. 'Hey look eveybody here's a list of rules that have my colleagues have contravened today'
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 10:35, closed)

Please do not feed the trolls :)
Leave them mosey in their natural habitat. Roaming the boards and wasting away on posts such as this.
And most probs in reply to this too....if it keeps them busy bless :)
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:57, closed)

Yeah, there's nothing wrong with a little homophobic bullying in the workplace.
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 1:47, closed)