Difficult one
That's a bloody difficult thing to deal with, I can't imagine what that must be like. You still care about her because she's your mum, however damaged and ill she may be. Bipolar is a cruel illness, unfortunately it is characterised in part by sufferers not realising - especially when manic, that they are ill. I suffer quite badly with depression and also rather delightfully have borderline personality disorder, as a result I'm on quite a bit of medication to even things out. I have full insight into my condition and know how tough my partner can find it, being with someone who has limited or no insight must be so much tougher. You and your dad have done all you can, your mum's illness is hers to deal with, harsh as that may be.
(lilyputian, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 21:26, 1 reply)

Not disagreeing with anything here.
But. And it's a biggie - you'd walk away from your mum?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 8 Oct 2012, 23:53, closed)

Not sure if lilyputian was quite saying that
But I can understand why some children of bipolar parents would choose to walk away. I will take regular 'breathers' from my mum when she becomes too much to deal with, but these still don't lessen the impact of a bad encounter. Even though she may not realise she's doing it and it may not be her fault, she can still put you down and make you feel less than worthless. Both my sister and I grew up to be very low in self-esteem and confidence, but (quite independently, and without the other knowing) we both went through counselling to put it right. So I can understand why someone might choose to divorce their mum with that illness. You only get one life, and if someone is making that life worse without making an effort do the opposite, then it may be that you will get more out of your life without them.
That said, I couldn't leave her on her own, or have her feel that she'd been abandoned. The guilt of that would make my life much worse!
( Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 9:59, closed)

I wouldn't walk away
I wouldn't walk away Ringofyre, I was suggesting that the illness and responsibility of it is the mother's and of course any mental health services she might be engaged with. Even though it's hard children shouldn't be saddled with the responsibility of the mental illness of a parent - that's not suggesting abandon them but try to find a way of interacting with them in a manner that preserves your own sanity!
(lilyputian, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 20:02, closed)

Furry muff.
How to instigate said sanity preservation while still maintaining contact & support would be the kicker I think.
Good luck to Charles if he can find that balance.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 21:51, closed)