Okay then, how 'bout we reverse this?
I do have a tale on one of my kids.

My oldest is now 21, of legal drinking age here in the States, and has been exercising this right periodically. As he lives with me, I get to monitor (somewhat) just how carried away he gets. Mostly it's pretty mild, involving him getting well buzzed but not wasted.

One night he and some friends decided that they wanted to get truly wasted, and told me this in advance. We laid out a few ground rules- anyone who left here had to have a designated driver, no one drinking was to be underage, nothing too outrageous was to happen that might bring the police- and then he and his friends went out to get some cheap beer and bourbon.

The missus and I left for a while, and came back somewhere around eleven or so. They were happily playing beer pong when I went to bed, loopy but keeping it sane. I thought nothing of it as I drifted off to sleep.

About 3:30 I awakened when my bedroom door opened and someone entered. The quilt was lifted from the foot of the bed, and a great weight was suddenly laying across my shins. I sat up. "What the hell are you doing?!?"

"I'm going to sleep, Dad," he clearly replied.

I sat there for a moment, utterly confused. The missus was not in the bed, just me with my son lying across my legs. Just then she returned and was about to take off the bathrobe when she realized that I was not alone in there. "What the-"

I kicked him a couple of times. "Get back to your own bed."

He sighed. "Okay." And then he got up and wandered back to his own room.

The next morning he was moving very sluggishly, so I handed him a cup of coffee. "Okay, you do realize that when you end up drunkenly in bed with someone, it's not supposed to be with your father, right?"

His expression was priceless.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 25 Feb 2011, 19:57, 10 replies)

you sound like a right laugh
(shanterbabs, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 20:11, closed)

He's going to die of a fucking enormous overdose in a few years,
and it'll be your fault.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 20:17, closed)

Christ.
Really? You have a 21 year old held in emotional suspended animation as a fourteen year old?

Good job, fella. Does he still piss the bed?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 20:44, closed)

Sheesh. The underage clubs all shut down over there or something?
Nothing but /talk trolls in here tonight. Sad.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 25 Feb 2011, 22:36, closed)

Well done for rising above it and not replying.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 23:26, closed)

You buggered him senseless, then?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 21:36, closed)

click for you, sir
funny stuff n thats what i come here for. Cheers.
( SpankyHanky, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 23:20, closed)

no offence, and that, but this story wasn't funny. at all.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:05, closed)

He thinks it was. I think it was. I think some others will enjoy it also.
But thanks for sharing.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 1 Mar 2011, 9:54, closed)

Click.
I liked it.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 15:37, closed)