The Good Stink-maritan.
So I drop the missus and sprog off at the shops. I'm driving her car & have to run some errands so "Seeya in 3/4's" is arranged. I notice an old biddy with a trolley waiting at the cab rank. She looks sad and frustrated.

45 min. later I pull up and the 2 beloved banes of my life hop in happily laden with shopping bags. I roll forward a few yards to the taxi rank, pull up and pop the boot. The old dear is still waiting there looking forlorn. "Waiting for a cab?" I ask, "Yes, it hasn't come". I'm soon to find out why.
"Far to go?", no she shakes her head. "Hop in I'll give you a lift". I load her shopping in the boot and she climbs into the passenger seat.

And then the smell assaults us. It smells like ancient shit & piss. Not fresh wee and poo (because that would be far more desirable to this smell) but wee & poo that's been festering for quite a few weeks. I should say at this point that she doesn't look especially rough and her shopping looked like yer normal grocery-type stuff. Instantly all the windows are down (thank fuck for auto-windows eh?) and with the missus in the back seat stifling giggles whilst holding her breath we are both hoping the young bairn doesn't pipe up with "What the fuck is that awful stench?" or some-such. It smells like a rat has crawled up this ladies clacker and died ala James Herbert only this rat was pustulent and had dysentery.

We drove a couple of blocks (thank Christ!) as she directs me and then I help her with her shopping and I asked her if she needed a hand getting it inside, "No", she says "My husband is at the doctors getting something done about his nose. He'll be back soon." I hope to god they're not reversing a loss of smell 'cause otherwise he's in for a surprise.
The smell had seeped into the passenger seat and I tried everything from repeated wash/vacs, nilodor, essential oils. Everything. People would hop in and the first thing would be "WTF is that bloody horrible smell?" It did eventually subside but pity the car yard that we sold it to.

Interestingly the only smell that reminds me of it is diosima which is known universally amongst our family & friends as "Old Lady Piss Bush".
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 3 Feb 2012, 23:27, 1 reply)

Wait up,
her husband had gone to see Dr Shambolic?
I knew he was evil but this is too much.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sat 4 Feb 2012, 0:02, closed)

Hah!

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 4 Feb 2012, 2:27, closed)