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This is a question B3TA fixes the world

Moon Monkey says: Turn into Jeremy Clarkson for a moment, and tell us about the things that are so obviously wrong with the world, and how they should be fixed. Extra points for ludicrous over-simplification, blatant mis-representation, and humourous knob-gags.

(, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 12:53)
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stupid rethorical questions
Can I ask you for a cigarette please ?

People how ask such questions should have the requested item shoved up their lowIQ-asses: hot coffee/light cigarettes/flaming lighters. Then they should be made to "ask if they can ask stupid questions" and "ask if they can ask if they can ask..." in an infinite spiral of raisen awareness of their stupid mental disposition. Until they repent.
(, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:45, Reply)
"Oh you like that film do you? It’s sooooooo over rated."

Although a useful phrase for identifying wankers I still think it should be outlawed. There should only be one way allowed to disapprove of films, music, books artists etc and that’s to compare them unfavourably to an example that you think is better. So instead of…

“Inception was soooo overrated”

We have

“Inception was boring , but I found the emotional connection I made with Twilight overwhelming.”

Also anytime someone claims that the first record they ever bought was by the Clash / Sex Pistols rather then the Wombles / Goodies you’re legally obliged to punch them on the nose.

My first record? I’m a Nut by Leroy Pullins.
(, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 10:50, 59 replies)

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

(Big nod to moonmonkey and others.)
(, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 10:07, 9 replies)

This question is now closed.

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