The Perfect Beer Batter
Now with added Roasted Peas.
For fried fish, prawns or Mars Bars.
You'll need -

1 cup of corn flour (& I mean cornflour, none of this "wheaten" shit.)
A stubbie or can of good really cold drinkable beer - yeah I know it's waste but your crunchy buds will thank you later.
For friends of Bill or scarpe - use cold, fizzy mineral water (not soda or tonic water as it can be bitter EDIT: But without the yummy bitterness of a good beer).
Some oil for deep-frying. I use a mix of 1 part peanut to 2 parts canola/vegetable - the peanut oil can handle hotter temps and thus tempurars the oil. *sorry*
Heat the oil like you're Head Flame-Stoker in Hell - if you've added peanut oil, it'll take it.
Otherwise you'll have an oil fire on your stovetop, your house will burn down and you and your family will die from smoke inhalation.

Mix cornflour in a bowl adding the beer until you have a batter the consistency for crepes NOT piklets. In other words - runny not goopy. You can season/flavour it if you want too but I find adding a couple of halved chillies & whole peppercorns to the oil (ala cargoeng's suggestion) does the trick.

Coat whatever you're cooking in batter ensuring to let it drip a lot off - too much batter = stodgy lumps around food. Hence runny not goopy. If you are doing Mars Bars etc. - I'd advise at least semi-freezing them 1st otherwise you'll be deep frying chocolate & caramel, which ain't so good.

Chuck it *gently* in the oil and fry. Fish it out and put on paper towels when it's lemony/baby poo yellowy brown.

Enjoy, whilst it's still hot and crunchy - as the eczema ridden actress said to the bishop.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 1 Jul 2013, 5:10, 2 replies)

Does this work with pies?

( Locus213 Slightly to the left of Bakunin, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 7:54, closed)

I would like to hear more about how freezing Mars bars
will remove the chocolate and caramel.

On a less piss-taking note, I like to season the flour with paprika and mustard, maybe some cayenne.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 8:57, closed)