How to make friends and influence postmen
This is my first post here, so please be gentle...

An old crack addict associate of mine (friend of a friend of a friend you meet once in town and never talk to again) somehow managed to gain a job as my local postman when I was living with friends in my second year of uni. This was in a huge student estate in Birmingham, so everyone knew each other pretty well. House parties were often, relationships were strong, so when cash started disappearing from birthday cards and letters from pension-absorbing relatives the finger of blame quite easily felt on Postman Crack.

EDIT (a few people think I'm just working on suspicion that the poor addict did it and got him unfairly shitcanned): Over time the thievery got a bit less subtle. Envelopes were ripped open or left on the pavement before they were delivered, and after pulling an allnighter and crawling back at 9 in the morning from town we caught our postie fumbling through the latest hand-written letters and ripping open a card. He told us to fuck off, and we did. We were pissed, tired and full of curry, and he was probably high. We had a bit of an understanding there and were rewarded with stinking hangovers for our cowardice 12 hours later.

After quite a few reports to the guy's superiors who were 'addressing the problem' in traditional bureaucratic effficiency, we eventually got bored of being ripped off and tried to see if we could make some money back from the bloke's addiction.

Cut to the local pub, a lot of empty pint glasses and a trio of students held together by Strongbow and pork scratchings. A lot of thought was given to the subject, as well as how to chat up the big-titted barmaid and how many more pints we could squeeze in before happy hour was over. Eventually our drunken logic led us to the conclusion that if the postie could get away with nicking cash, we might as well see what else he could take, or at least be framed for.

Thank God for online shopping. We hatched a scheme of ordering small but expensive student items (DVD boxsets of the latest releases and games) from large retailers and having them delivered by our substance-ridden friend (who obviously thought they were too risky to nick). After waiting the two week expected delivery period, we'd get on to the companies that we didn't receive a damn thing and get the product resent. A fortnight later, we still played the innocence card, and after 4 Godfather Trilogys, 3 PES2008s and a couple more things, the retailer eventually got the idea that postie was corrupt. He was consequently sacked and nicked for theft. Sure, I lost 30 quid in birthday card currency, but half my mates now had Pro for the rest of the year free of charge.

Length? 6 years, but considering the Home Office's ability to manage prisoners he should be out on Sunday.
(FoxyBadger (try saying it backwards), Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:39, 6 replies)

So...
it was never actually proven that this bloke was stealing anything. Yet you conspired to have him at least sacked, if not nicked.

But he didn't steal the items you had sent through, nor the resent items. Instead, by saying they didn't arrive and requesting another copy be sent, you stole them (apart from the original that you paid for). But you still let him be sacked and nicked. I'm pretty sure that is a fucking low act.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:54, closed)

And the fact
that there are tea leafs throughout the Royal Mail, any one of whom could have been half inching stuff, plus the fact that Royal Mail is horrifically inefficient and just fucking lose stuff all the time didn't cross your mind?

Oh no must have been the crack head. But was he still a crack head when he got a job as a postie? Had he in fact clean up, got a job and was in the process of working himself up to a better life when some students decided to fuck him over? I guess we will never know.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 11:06, closed)

al;
I'd be impressed if legitimate Royal Mail staff were able to lose the money from the cards and still manage to deliver the card, as appears to have happened here, going on the story.

Of course, if it could be put down to Royal Mail's shrotcomings in delivery, then it is a pretty low thing to do, and the original poster is deserving of this righteous abuse.
( Thinker, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 11:20, closed)

bit harsh mate
I spent a summer working night shift at Royal Mail and can vouch for the *massive* problems they have (or had - this was about 8 years ago now) with a lot of the staff there. The place was absolutely riddled with thieves.

They tended to hire in a load of temps for the more mundane tasks, and the turnover of staff was very high. They once sacked an entire team of temps for half-inching credit cards and cheque books from the conveyor belts.

I myself got sacked, but that was for whizzing along the depot in a metal buggy and shouting Wheee! ...but that's a story for another time.
( rofl harris, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 11:26, closed)

Hehehe...
Postman Crack:D
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:40, closed)

Works differently these days
The PO now send test items themselves in the hope of catching the thief in the act. While you probably started the investigation, he was probably caught with a few Royal Mail-sent items in his filthy work locker.

This is how they caught a neighbour of mine. Except the items weren't in his locker. He was swearing the bra-and-pantie set.

Bingo: www.dorsetecho.co.uk/news/local/display.var.2119642.0.postman_stole_ladies_lingerie.php
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:09, closed)